Aftermath:  The Last Ones Standing
by raeubertochter
Summary: The Fourth Shinobi World War has ended, and the good guys won. But at what cost? - Those left behind try to live with their losses, while old foes wait for their chance to return. Rated M just to be on the save side.
1. Dead Friends

**Dead Friends**

The Memorial had been put where once upon a time, before Pain's attack, the graveyard had been. It had taken almost one year to built it, ten meters in diameter, twenty in height, but now it was finished, covered under a gigantic canvas and waited for its inaugaration.  
>The whole village, as well as visitors from all the other villages, had gathered. There was a stage set up infront of them, which was flanked by those who had given all of their strength and considerable amount of chakra in order to create the statue on one side, and the five Kages on the other.<br>Although, strictly speaking, there were only four Kages sitting there, and one empty chair bearing the symbol of fire on his rest, while the gathered crowd grew more and more impatient.  
>„Seriously...", Sakura sight. There were occasions, on which she had thought even Kakashi would not dare to be late, but apparently she had been wrong. If he does not appear within the next five minutes, she decided for herself, I'm going up there and hold that speech myself.<br>But luckily for her, at that percice moment, Kakashi stepped, seemingly out of nowhere, onto to the stage, apologised for letting everyone wait, and without further ado moved on to his speech, which turned out to be rather brief.  
>Everybody knew, what had happened one year ago, so there was no use in retelling it.<br>„It's not the events that need to be remembered", he said, „but the people, those we loved as well as those we did not really like that much, for they all sacrificed their lifes to save this world, and to give us a chance live in peace,..."  
>His voice trailed off, for a second there was a silence that ached for more words, then the great white canvas covering the Memorial burst into flames, burned in a quick and sudden, well controled flash of light.<br>When the fire had gone, the stage was empty, leaving a clear view to what was behind it.  
>A round pyramide on which they were all standing in circles, facing the world outside. In their hands they all held a small bowl and in each bowl a small flame flickered, casting its light on their stone faces. They were all there, cast in stone forever.<br>Every single one who had lost his or her life in the Forth Great War.  
>There were more speeches, silent prayers, chants, once again speeches and prayers, before the ceremony finally came to an end, feet shuffled away from the Memorial Square and into the village.<p>

Sakura alone stayed behind, she had feared this day, feared the sight of the Memorial, and it greatly surprised her to actually find solace in looking at it now.  
>It was so huge that it seemed almost impossible to make out individuals among the deceased. None the less she began to walk around the statue, slowly, trying not to miss anyone. There was Iruka's scarred face, and that of Hinata, the late Raikage. Lee, standing next to his beloved Sensei. There was Lady Tsunade and Shizune, Temari...<br>Sakura's vision began to blurr. For the first time in one year there were tears that ran down her cheeks, silently and gently at first, untill, finally the barrage broke, she sank to her knees and cried, untill there were no more tears left.  
>She raised her head once more, looked up, looked at the top of the pyramide where they stood, back to back, united in battle, maybe for the first time in their lifes as well as the last, fighting side by side – determined to save this world, to save this world together, as a team.<br>Naruto and Sasuke.

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel has been respectuflly borrowed from: The Coma Lilies<em>

_This is the first Naruto Fic I ever wrote.  
>This was originally planned as a four-part story, but as the ideas keep coming, I decided to turn it into an ongoing series-thing. I honestly don't know where it will end, or if I, at some point, will realise that I'd rather be doing other stuff than writing this ff, and if I might reach said point before the story-line has reached any conclusion at all. If that should be the case, I sincerely apologise in <em>_advance. For now the plot-bunnies keep running wild in my head._


	2. Scatterbrain

**Scatterbrain  
><strong>

The new hospital of Konohagakure did not differ much from the old one, and it was with a strange feeling of familiarity that Sakura entered it for the first time. It was a warm and friendly feeling. Still, it did not drown out the sensation of death lingering, lurking, waiting in every corner, every shadow, for the next soul to claim.  
>When she had trained to become a medic it had been the desire, the deep and profound believe that from now on she would be able to help her friends, to protect them, to save them, that had driven her to train and become one of the best medics there were.<br>She had not set foot into an infermary since the war had ended. She knew, that she had to, that it was her duty, her responsibility. She did not need anyone to remind her, and apparently everyone understood that. Almost everyone. Eventhough it was only on rare occasions, and always with a casual „don't you think?", added, Kakashi had sometimes during the past year pointed out, that it might do her good to return to her old work.

In the cafeteria she met up with Ino, who greeted her with a hug so close and intense as if they had not seen each other for years.  
>„I'm sorry", Sakura whispered. She felt Ino's tears seeping through her dress onto her shoulder.<br>„No, I'm sorry", Ino replied, dapping her eyes. She sat back, bit her lower lip.  
>„I guess you had a lot to do, helping Kakashi..."<br>„Hm", Sakura shrugged. The truth was, though it was not untill now that she realised this, she did not believe that Kakashi had actually needed her assistance at all. He had given her tasks, so that she would not feel useless, but that was all. For the most time he would use any work at hand to keep himself occupied.  
>„Sure you're up to this?", Ino asked. Already her conscience was telling her, that she should not have asked Sakura for help, that Sakura had enough to deal with as it was. But Sakura nodded, a look of determination in her eyes that Ino had not seen for a very long time.<br>„Just...whatever he says, don't... I mean, most of it doesn't make any sense anyway, but if it does... I don't think he even knows what he is saying."  
>„I know, you told me", Sakura nodded once more reasuringly.<br>„I'm sorry... this is a really bad idea."  
>It was not, Sakura repeated, she really wanted to help.<br>„That's why I became a medic, to help my friends. I can't just stop, because I couldn't..", but she found herself unable to finish that sentence. She had to swollow hard to hold back the tears. Then she cleared her throat, gave Ino the most optimistic smile she could manage and asked her to let her in on all the information she had.  
>„It's not much, really..", Ino mumbled „no, this is no good. It's like...", her hands gestured in the air, trying to get a hold of the right words to use.<p>

„It's like Madara took his mind, and shattered it. Into a milion pieces. I... I've spent one year trying to... and I couldn't help him one bit. And you... you don't even – you don't even know how to..."  
>„Ino!", Sakura firmly grapped hold of her friend's hand, pulled her back into the chair she had just abandoned, to pace up and down, hands flying.<br>„Dad might have known..", Ino whispered, and while Sakura still managed to keep her emotions locked away tight, broke into tears once more. She willingly accepted Sakuras comfort and embrace, and finally, after she had calmed down a little, agreed that, even if Sakura might not be able to help, she could still go and visit him.  
>Sakura waited outside his room. She was not sure what to expect, expected the most distubring sight, when Ino finally called her in. She had not expected this:<p>

On his bed he sat, calm as one can be, legs crossed, thumps and indexfingers forming a triangle, his eyes fixed on the wall infront of him. He did not look any different from what she remembered him, except for the white pyjamas maybe.  
>Ino, who had seated herself next to him, lightly touched his shoulder.<br>„You remember Sakura, don't you?", she asked in a soft voice.  
>Shikamaru turned his head, and it was now that Sakura could tell the difference. His eyes, for the first time Sakura could recall, looked at her, wide and sharp and with a wild confusion.<br>„She's different back to front", he observed slowly, brows furrowed. Then he brushed Inos hand aside and got up.  
>As with his eyes, his voice too sounded sharper – in the same way that an aimlessly thrown breadknife was sharper than a tucked away kunai.<p>

„Why are just standing there?"  
>Sakura invulontarily took a step back. She had braced herself for him to act different and weird, but she had not expected him to just start and shout at her out of the blue.<br>„You cannot just stand there, when they need you to -", there he stopped, midsentence, stopped and stared at her, shook his head, before he continued „help them. You're not supposed to just stand there", he went on, even as Ino wrapped her arms around him tightly and pulled him back and away from Sakura, while her hands, infront of his chest, were busy forming seals.  
>Once she had placed Shikamaru's half concious body once more on his bed, Ino looked up, she wanted to apologise about what happened, but Sakura was already gone.<p>

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel has been respectuflly borrowed from: Radiohead<br>_


	3. The Magician's Assistant

**The Magician's Assistant  
><strong>

Sai was sitting on one of the benches occupying the hospital's hallway. He was drawing in his sketchbook, although he suspected that this was not what anyone would have expected him to do at a time like this. He had managed to grasp the concept of human behaviour fairly well by now, however, in this concrete situation he still did not have any idea how to react adequately. No one did, he had gathered, but no one else seemed to be aware of this.  
>Accordingly he did not know whether to be grateful for the distraction or not, when Kakashi's steps coming down the hallway mixed themselves into the sound of tensed voices muffled behind a closed door.<br>What had happened and if Sakura was alright, he wanted to know, and as there was no one else but Sai to explain, Sai reluctantly began to recount what he himself had been told before.  
>A few hours ago Ino had gone to visit Sakura, and had found her. If she had not, had not managed to apply some first-aid, Sakura already would be dead.<br>„They're only barely able to keep her alive as it is."  
>There was nor reply from Kakashi, and Sai took it as an indicator that more explanation was needed.<br>Currently a group of medics specialised on creating antidotes was trying to figure out what countermeasures were to be taken. However, it appeared to be a very complicated poison and, ironically the only person who might be able to come up with an antidote in time to safe her, was most likely Sakura herself.  
>„Although, of course she'd know what antidote to use anyway"<br>There was a pause, then Kakashi – nable or unwilling to understand – asked for further explanation.  
>„Well, I guess she would", Sai hesitade „considering that she created the poison herself."<p>

It was a sudden rush of cold, when realisation finally hit Kakashi, as if all his blood had been drained from his body at once. He should have seen this coming. No. He _had_ seen this coming. He had noticed that look in her eyes long ago, a look of restless regret and resignation, had tried to ignore it, brushed it away as his own imagination. He honestly had believed that she was been getting better after commemoration day, that her returning to work as a medic had been an improvement.  
>„Are you alright?", a far away voice asked.<br>„I'm fine", Kakashi replied, or maybe he did not, maybe he just thought he did. He wasn't sure.  
>He had to stay focused.<p>

What felt like a second later he reopened his eye to find himself placed on a hospitalbed. Sitting on a chair next to him there was Ino. She managed to smile, even though her face was still red and blotchy and tearstained.  
>„You had us worried there for a second"<br>„How long was -"  
>„Five minutes top. Are you okay?"<br>Kakashi was already back to his feet. He nodded, ignored Ino's order for him to stay in bed, instead he inquired about Sakura's condition, which still was critical but stable. For the time being.  
>„What about her mother?"<br>„She's under shock. Though she managed not to pass out, when we informed her."  
>There was an awkward silence, that ended when Kakashi, with one sudden movement, went for the room's exit.<br>„Sakura didn't create the poison herself", he said to himself while pushing the door open. Ino shouted after him, what he was about to do, but all the reply she got was the order to find someone specialised in breaking seals for him.  
>After becoming the new Hokage, Kakashi had spent a considerable amount of time on cleaning up his new office. It was hard to believe how many needless things Lady Tsunade had managed to amass in but four years.<br>However, there were those things, personal notes and journals, he had not felt comfortable with throwing away. So instead of throwing them away he had thrown them all in one box, which he had planned to pass on to Sakura, but then had forgotten to do so.  
>Now he emptied this exact box, spreading its contents on the floor of his office. He browsed through scrolls and notebooks, stacks of playingcards and a few dice, an empty checkbook, untill he spotted what he was looking for, and, leaving the rest of the things lying on the floor in one pile, hurridly returned with it to the hospital.<p>

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from: Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip<br>_


	4. epiphany

**Epiphany**

As the door to her room opened once more, Sakura braced herself for one more lecture, though she suspected her former sensei would most likely and unlike her mother, refrain from using tears and screams and general hysteria in order to make his point.  
>In fact he refrained from using anything at all, except for a very long and very silent, one eyed stare.<br>„How did you know, where to find the antidote's forumla?", Sakura finally brought herself to say. It was not so much a question, much less a disguised display of gratitude for having her life saved, as it was an accusation. She had been certain that there were no records of the poison she had used.  
>„A hunch", Kakashi shrugged, arms crossed infront of his chest, his eye still fixed on Sakura.<br>She waited for him to say something else, anything, but he just kept staring at her, not saying a word, untill once more Sakura was the one to break the silence.  
>„Remember when I told you", she began, her voice being slow and still a little unsteady „that I would have gladly given my life, if only I could have saved Naruto and Sasuke?"<br>She fumbled with her sheets, half waiting for a reply which she already knew would not come.  
>„You said to me then, that I was being selfish. That, had I died in their place, they too would have had to live with it", she paused.<br>„You said, there always was someone left to be the last one standing, and that it was being selfish when to wish for that burden to be carried by someone else", to her own surprise, Sakura remained very calm, eventhough Kakashi's continuing lack of reaction made her grow more and more impatient.  
>„Tell me, how is saving me when – I want to die – less selfish?"<br>The silence that followed her question, was even more tense than the one that had filled the room before. It grew more and more unbearable, untill finally Kakashi unfolded his arms, leaned back against the windowsill and sight.  
>„It's not."<p>

Sakura had been sure that she would get an elaborate explanation as to why there was nothing selfish about keeping your friends from killing themselves, had been prepared for it, but now she found herself baffled by Kakashi's words.  
>„You're right", he said „I am being selfish, but I can not let you die."<br>He finally stopped staring at her, turned to look outside the window instead.  
>„Sakura, I -", he began, but got interupted. At this moment precisely the door to Sakura's room burst open, revealing a group of two, namely Kiba and Tenten, the latter carrying a flowerbouquett big enough for her to almost completely hide behind it.<br>When Sakura turned her gaze back to the window, Kakashi was gone.

Three weeks after her failed suicide attempt Sakura finally was allowed to leave hospital.  
>She had not seen Kakashi since the day she woke up. She had been told though, that he expected her to report back to him as soon as she was feeling better.<br>She was not. Not feeling better, that is. She went to see him anyway, but found his office vacant.  
>Unsure what to do, unwilling to just wait for him to return, she left again. On a spure of the moment, instead of turning right to go and get outside, she turned left, climbed up stairs and ladders until she finally reached the rooftop.<p>

Here she stood, close to the edge, and gazed down upon Konohagakure. Her home.  
>It was no longer the village she had grown up in. It's architecture and infrastructure had greately changed when it had been rebuildt. More importantly, most of the people that had made up the village for Sakura were gone now.<br>She took another stap towards the edge  
>It's still home, though, it suddenly came to her. Everyone had lost someone during the war, everyone was feeling the same way as she did, but still, the village remained. Because everyone was fighting their own sadness, everyone was fighting to keep it a place to call home. For those still alive as well as those, that had passed away.<br>She was startled out of her thoughts when out of the sudden two arms took hold of her, pulled her back and away from the roof's edge.  
>„I told you, I can't let you die."<br>„I wasn't going to jump", she whispered, still being held tight, her legs dangling in the air. She could feel Kakashi's heart beat against her back.  
>„Trust me"<br>As soon as she was standing on her own feet once more, she smiled, the first real smile that had found it's way into her eyes in over a year. Then she took Kakashi's hand.  
>„I think, I'm alright now", she said, while weaving her fingers between his.<br>„Everythings going to be fine."

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from: no one in particular, but I'm sure there are loads of awful new metal songs bearing this name.<br>_


	5. I found a reason

**A/N:** _Originally I had planned the story to end with the last chapter of „Aftermath: The last ones standing", but as the ideas keep coming.  
>A<em>lso, I decided that, instead of having two stories that are actually just one, I'm going to upload the sequal-chapters to this story from now on.<em>_

**I found a Reason  
><strong>

Lying on her back on the rooftop of the Hokage Tower, Sakura watched the clouds rolling over them. She was not sure for how long they had been just lying there, next to each other, looking up at they sky. Neither of them had said a single word in what felt like hours, they had just held each other's hand, and sort of let the moment wash over them.  
>At least that was what Sakura was thinking.<br>When he, after some more minutes had passed, finally let go of her hand, it felt cold and sort of lonely, and despite herself Sakura reached up to grasp hold of his fingers once more.  
>„There are things I need to do", he explained, sounding mildly apologetic.<br>Sakura nodded. Of course, he was the Hokage after all.  
>Taking his offer to help her up, she pulled herself to a standing position, and – maybe on purpose, maybe by accident – crashed right into him, her arms wrapping themselves around his lean figure before she was able to command them not to.<br>He did not comment on it, he simply and gently pealed himself out of her grasp, stating that he did have an appointment with the Council and that, for a chance, being late wasn't really an option.  
>And then he left her, with nothing but a somewhat incoherently mumbled „I'll see you later", and a weird, tingling sensation that was making her feel numbed and wide awake at the same time.<p>

She went back to work at the hospital, once more felt as if she was actualy doing good. It were mostly sick people she had to take care of these days. Since the war had ended the Allied Shinobi Forces had given birth to Allied Nations, limiting the number of enemies each country had to face, and thus drasticly cutting the number shinobi coming back home from their missions more dead than alive.  
>Of course tere still was evil around, twice already attempts had been made to shatter the new formed alliance, but having won the war with their combined strength had forged the countries closer together, had given everyone the opportunity to trust others, and those attempts had easily been averted.<p>

„You seem different lately.", Ino commented the other day when the two young women were sitting together in the hospital's garden.  
>„I...", Sakura immediatly stopped talking. What was she supposed to tell Ino? 'I think, I'm in love'? But she didn't even know if that was what she was, and besides, Ino, inevitably, would ask her who the man was, wouldn't let ago until Sakura finally spilled it, and she did not really want anyone to know.<br>So instead she said: „I just realised that there's still a whole lot left to hold on to."  
>„That's good to hear", Ino sighed. Then her radio beeped.<br>„I'm sorry, I have to", she gestured over her shoulder and towards the building.  
>„Sure..."<br>Ino had changed, too. The responsibility she had, being the only one left as well as the most capable to take care of Shikamaru weight heavy on her. But it aslo had made her stronger. While Sakura, occasionally, still felt as if she was solely putting on the act of being all grown up, Ino gave the impression of someone who had left being a child behind. Once and for all.

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from: The Velvet Underground<em>


	6. Falling is Like this

**Falling is like this  
><strong>

Sakura sat down infront of the Memorial, hands folded in her lap, she looked up at the shape of her two best friends, far above her head, illuminated by the setting sun and the flickering lights of a thousand flames held by a thousand dead shinobi.  
>„Seven years", she heard a soft voice behind her. Seven years had passed since the formation of Team Seven.<br>Sakura blinked back her tears, while, from the corner of her eyes, she watched Kakashi kneel down next to her.

When they returned to the village, night had fallen. They reached the junction, where there ways seperated, stood in the light of the streetlamps, he, his hands in his pockets, she, tucking her hair absentmindedly.  
>„Would you...", Sakura stopped herself right there.<br>„Hm?"  
>„N-nothing", she blushed, hoped he wouldn't notice, looked away.<br>„Well then – good night", he turned to leave, was already a few steps down the road when Sakura caught up with him.  
>„Wouldyoumindwalkingmehome?", she said, as fast as she could, closed her eyes and waited for him to say no, for this or that reason he could not, or just walk away. But instead:<br>„I guess I could."

For a while now Sakura had been living on her own. She could not say why exactly, but somehow it felt wrong to be a war-veteran while letting your mother do the laundry.  
>„I suppose I shouldn't invite you in...", she mumbled when they finally reached her doorstep.<br>„You could, though."  
>It took a few seconds for the sentence to unfold its meaning, but once Sakura understood she almost dropped her keys, then, her hands shaking, unlocked the door and let them both in.<br>It was a small room she rented, featuring not much more but than a bed, a sofa, a wardrobe. Infact, it did not differ much from the room she had had when she was still living with her mother, except for the kitchen and bathroom that came with it.  
>„I'm sorry, it's not really...", she tucked her hair, gestured toward the sofa where Kakashi had already seated himself, then, somehwat hesitantly, sat down next to him, where she remained and listened as the awkward silence grew.<br>„I should have put on some music", she thought, but couldn't bring herself to get up and do so.  
>Instead, and in what felt like a moment of great bravery, she turned and leaned her head against his (her former teacher, the current Hokage)'s, shoulder, let it slide down a little untill it rested right bellow his collarbone.<br>He did not pull away, did not, not even gently, push her back, and when she was sure he wouldn't do so anytime near, she allowed herself to close her eyes, to feel how their breathing slowly and steadily synchronised. His heart was beating as fast as her own, Sakura noticed, if not, faster, and it surprised her. Eventually he rose one hand, lightly let his fingertips touch her shoulder, draw a line from there to her back, where they wandered up her spine to finally find hold in her hair.

The next morning Kakashi was gone. Sakura woke up alone in her bed. The only proof that last night had not been a dream were yesterdays clothes, she was still wearing.

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> _Ani DiFranco_


	7. Damaged People

**Damaged People  
><strong>

„You're sending me away?"  
>The exclamation had left Sakura's mouth before she could stop it and, likewise, left her baffled at her own display of disrespect.<br>„As I was going to say", Kakshi continued, as calm as ever, „I'll have you dispatched to Sunagakure, because", he paused for the effect, „they requested our assistance after an attempted assasination of the Kazekage. The assasin succeeded in poisoning him, leaving him in critical condition, and sofar Sunagakure was not able to come up with an antidote. However..."  
>Sakura bit her lip.<br>„...if you don't want to go, I'm sure, they will respect your personal reasons."  
>„I'm sorry"<br>„We're still low on manpower so-"  
>For a second, and against better knowledge, Sakura found herself hoping he himself would accompany her.<br>„-I'll have Kiba accompany you."  
>Her face fell.<br>„Kiba... but isn't he -"  
>„You'll be fine"<p>

How could he? Sakura thought while cramming her things into her backpack.  
>How could he act as if nothing had happened between them? Although, she ponders, technically nothing had happened between them. They had just sat there, until she fell asleep, her head still resting against his chest, and he had taken the opportunity to leave.<br>No, it was a good thing she was leaving, she decided, and even better, that she had to get going soon.

While rushing through the trees Sakura realised that the last year had claimed its price in stamina she now felt was lacking. She had kept training, albeit not as disciplined. Despite being short on time, she felt relieved when she noticed that Kiba too wasn't as quick and persistent as he had used to be, when he still had Akamaru.  
>„It's no use, we'll have to rest eventually...", Sakura sight when night had fallen and exhaustion forced them to stop. They had not come as far as planned, they had no choice though but to set camp, if they wanted to save their strength for the remaining journey.<p>

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> _Depeche Mode _


	8. Flowers on the Wall

**Flowers on the Wall**

It was a seemingly random pattern. Short strokes that accumulated in black masses, danced in swirls, squatted in squares, lined up in, well, in lines, and covered the whole wall of the hospitalroom.  
>„He really did this in just one night?", Kakashi raised one eyebrow.<br>„Yes", Ino nodded „and he's been just sitting there since morning."  
>She nodded towards the far right corner of the room, where Shikamaru cowered, entirely immersed in counting his fingers. He never got further than four, then lost count, glared at his half-formed fist as if the hand itself had distracted him, shook his head and started all over again.<br>„He's not getting any better, is he?"  
>„I think it's getting worse. Half the time he doesn't even recognise me any-", she got interupted by Shikamaru who suddenly had gotten to his feet and started to yell unintelligbly at the drawing, which, as it was just that – a drawing, did not seem to take notice.<br>Careful not to get struck by his wildly gesturing hands Ino neared him, whipsered low, soothing words.  
>„There", she said, once he had calmed down a little.<br>„Is the drawing bothering you?"  
>Shikamaru shook his head, making the face of a six-year-old, too proud to admit that he was being bullied in school.<br>„Say, why don't we go out for a walk?"  
>She half pushed, half led him out the room, past Kakashi who was still looking at the drawing. Unconsciously he stroked his chin while trying to make any sense of it.<br>„You go ahead", he noted, once he had noticed Ino waiting for him.  
>„I need to check something first."<p>

When the door had shut behind them, Kakashi, though uncertain whether it would help at all, pushed back his foreheadprotector. He hesitated, briefly, then opened his left eye.  
>For a split second he saw, he actually understood the meaning behind those strokes Shikamaru had drawn on the wall, understood that there was nothing random about them. Then a bright, piercing pain struck him, like visual feedback. He stumbled back, covering his eyes with his hands.<br>The pain ebbed away slowly, left behind a light feeling of nausea, however Kakashi did not allow himself to give in to that. He had to write down what he had seen, before he forgot.  
>Not quite as steady on his feet as he'd preferred, but steady enough for noone to take notice (or to note it), he hurried to the reception, hurried the receptionist to hand him pen and paper, and scribbled down all that he could still remember.<br>„Hokage-sama, are you alright?", the girl behind the counter meekly asked, but did not get much more than a distracted nodd as a reply, before said Hokage turned, his notes clutched in one hand, and left the hospitalbuilding.

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> _The Statler Brothers_


	9. Man in the Moon

**Man in the Moon**

Dawn was breaking, when Sakura finally untight her hair, wiped away the beats of sweat from her forehead and left the emergency-room. Outside she found Kankuro slouched on the floor, his eyes closed.  
>„Hey", she lightly tipped his shoulder.<br>His eyes sprang open immediatly, and he scrambled back to his feet. Sakura wondered, if he had slept at all during the past days. He didn't look like he had.  
>„Is he alright?", he asked, all attempts to conceal his fear of losing his little brother as well failing.<br>„He'll be fine", Sakura nodded. „He's sleeping now", she continued, and afer a moment of consideration added: „And so should you."

When Kakashi had said „Assassination", Sakura initially had thought of an open attack. In truth, she learned, no attack had taken place. The poison must have been slipped into the Kazekage's meal.  
>„That's sort of... oldfashioned", Sakura thought to herself, but said nothing.<br>„We still don't know who did it", Kankuro explained, and adviced the guests to leave.  
>„It has to be someone from here, so we can't really make sure you're-"<br>„But we could help with the investigation", Sakura cut him off. As someone specialised in poisons, she might be able to come to a conclusion as to where and by whom the one used for the attempt on Gaara's life had been fabricated, if only she had time to conduct a more thorough analysis.  
>True, maybe she also wanted to stay away from Konohagakure for a little longer. If there was reason to worry about her, all the better. But, of course, she kept these reasons to herself.<br>„I'll send a request to the Hokage immediatly", she concluded, not giving neither her host nor her fellow team-member a chance to disagree.

Like Konohagakure, Sunagakure too had its own Monument to keep those fallen during the Fourth Great War remembered, though it looked not half as pompouse.  
>Bronze hands grew out of a wall, formed a circle, surrounding a bronze plate, with each and everyone's name engraved in it.<br>After having sent away her mission report as well as the request to prolonge hers and Kiba's stay, it was this Monument where Sakura's feet carried her. Testingly she placed her own hand on top of one of the statue's, traced its smooth metal skin, still warm from the burning sun, traced its long, slimm index and middlefinger, locked tight with those of its neighbour.  
>It was a quiet day, except for the steady howling of the wind. Standing here, holding a metal-cast hand, looking up at the bronze-plate reading her friend's names, Sakura suddenly felt overwhelmed by the sensation of loneliness. Not the one she had endured the past twelve months, which had come with anger and bordered on despair, but a calm, sullen loneliness.<br>She was standing on the moon, looking down at the world, which was forever out of reach, but forever hers nontheless.  
>A sudden touch startled Sakura, she spun around quickly, expecting the mysterious Sunagakure-Assassin to menacingly grin at her. She felt a dull pain in her shoulder, held her breath, then realised that it wasn't some attacker's hand, but the same bronze one she had been holding just seconds ago pushing against her shoulderblade.<br>There was no assassin either. Just Kiba.  
>„Hey!", Sakura grinned and tried to lean against the statue behind her in what she hoped would look casual enough to convince her teammate.<br>„Hey", Kiba mumbled, but he no longer was looking at he, instead he looked past her, his eyes fixed on one single name engraved right above her head.  
>Sakura suddenly felt guilty. For the entire timespan of last year, she had not once considered to see how Kiba was. She had been too wrapped up in her own loss to acknowledge that, of all those left behind, he maybe had to suffer the most. After all, he had not only lost his one, best friend – he aslo had his worth as a shinobi cut in half. Everybody in Konohagakure knew this, and no one, least of all Kiba himself, did quite understand how and why their Hokage kept acting completely oblivious of it.<br>„You're bleeding", she stated after she had spent a considerable amount of time trying to come up with anything to say, that would excuse her previous lack of interest. Even on their journey she had so much as noticed that it was not at all like him, to not say a single word for three entire days. She had been too busy fretting about Kakashi's behaviour.  
>Kiba turned his eyes back Sakura, unclenched his jaw. His left canine teeth still stuck in his lower lip, did not let go of it, untill he decided to help with his fingers.<p>

Later Sakura would not be able to explain what exactly happened next, if it had been her, who stepped foreward and ignroed the fact that it was midday, and they were standing in the middle of Sunagakure, already drawing attention to them by simple not looking like the usual sand-people. She wouldn't be able to tell, whether it was her who stepped foreward and wrapped her arms around Kiba, or if it was the other way.  
>She felt his nose nuzzled in her hair, his breath running down the back of her neck, felt his hands pulling her closer, while passers-by stopped and stared at the inadequat display of emotion and affection.<br>She wondered if, by any means, she would be able to share her newfound sense of serenity with her friend.  
>When they finally let go of each other, he smiled, not his wide, teeth-bearing Kiba-smile, but still, a true and real smile.<br>„You're not supposed to wander of", he said after another moment they spent just looking at each other (and in which Sakura wondered if she ever, ever in her life, had actually looked at him at all).  
>„For all we know, we could be the assasin's next target. So, we better stick together."<p>

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><p><em><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> Grinderman  
><em>


	10. Wild is the Wind

**Wild is the Wind**

With the most certain believe that there was no way Kakashi would _not_ allow them to stay longer and help investigating the Kazekage's failed assassination, Sakura started her research the same day.  
>She spent hours in the lab, mixing drops of the poison, refined from Gaara's blood, with various indicators, trickling these mixtures on testing scrolls, comparing results.<br>For her own safety, she had the lab all for herself, all for herself except for Kiba, who crouched in one corner of the room, equally close to door and window, and would, occasionally, drum his fingers impatiently or, worse, scratch the stonefloor – producing a screaching noise that made Sakura almost drop the vial she was holding.  
>„Hmm... the drug wasn't administered orally", Sakura mused after hours of mixing and unmixing various chemicals with the refined sample of said poison.<br>„Huh?"  
>The way Kiba looked at her bore an astonishing resemblence to Naruto's 'what are you talking about'-face, that managed to startle Sakura for a split second.<br>„It wasn't mixed in his drink. Or food, or whatever."  
>„Then what?"<br>Sakura sight. She undid her ponytail, stretched and yawned.  
>„I don't know. But", she added triumphantly „we don't have to stick with our own provisions anymore."<p>

That evening, while brushing her hair, looking at her face in the mirror, Sakura pondered. Wasn't she secretly hoping to be called back Konohagakure? Or did she want Kakashi to affirm her prolonged stay, in order to confirm her assumption that he did not want to have her around.  
>„Get real, Sakura!", she scolded herself. As if he actually would take personal matters in consideration while making such a decission, while making any decission.<br>Someone knocked at her door, and Sakura froze. She hastily grapped a kunai from her pouch, resting along with her clothes on a chair, and positioned herself close to the wall, before asking her visitor to come in.  
>Upon him entereing she let out a sigh of relieve and, as inconspiciously as possible, placed her knife on a sideboard next to her.<br>„You're jumpy", Kiba remarked, while closing the door behind him.  
>„Well, aren't you?", Sakura snapped back, then grew aware of being dressed in nothing but an oversized T-Shirt. She flushed, started to tuck it's fabric down in the irrational hope that, if only she tucked long enough, it might stretch to her knees.<br>„Yeah, about that...", Kiba said while scratching his right ear – he referred to the jumpiness, of course, not to Sakura's choice of pyjamas.  
>„I thought, maybe I.. should spent the night here?", he stepped back, prepared for any fist that might fly his way. But Sakura just blinked in confusion.<br>„There are guards outside our rooms", she finally managed to say.  
>„Well, they could be one of them as well, couldn't they?", he shrugged „Also, I <em>am<em> here to protect you, so-"  
>„You're what?", Sakura's voice rose in anger. Why would she need someone to protect her? She was quite capable of protecting herself, thank you very much. And least of all she needed a half-crippled, hampered bodyguard as Kiba happened to be.<br>She felt sorry the moment the words formed in her head and was thankful that she had possessed enough selfcontrole to not say them out loud.

Lying on her side, looking through half closed eyes at Kiba who was squatting infront of her bed, Sakura wondered, if he had really, literally that is, been ordered to „protect" her, or rather to „guard" or „look after" her, and if this difference in vocabulary meant any difference in her Hokage's level of indifference at all.  
>Partly out of frustration, partly because it was the back of his head she was staring at, her thoughts wandered to the unplanned embrace with Kiba infront of the Monument, earlier that day.<br>Before she had time to reconsider, she had thrown her beddings down next to him and soon followed.  
>„Do you mind?", she whispered, when she leant her head against his shoulder. Almost simultaniously she felt his arm around her waist, pulling her closer, until she had no choice but to in turn wrap her own arm around him, lest she wanted it to be stuck uncomfortably between their bodies.<br>She was well aware of the similarity between her current situation and the moment she and Kakashi had shared not a week – it felt like years – ago. She was also aware of the differences.  
>This had nothing to do with the awkward sort-of-kind-of intimacy she had had with her former sensei.<br>„You smell nice", she heard Kiba whispering through her hair.  
>Sakura looked up. She frowned.<br>„I'm not sure, that's what a girl likes to hear."  
>„Why not?"<br>Sakura wasn't sure. She _had_ liked hearing it.  
>She was still trying to come up with a good reply, when she felt lips touching hers. She pulled back, surprised for a second, before she, very cautiously, returned the kiss.<br>„Well, who would have thought that!", a voice inside her head shouted out, while their lips grew less and less shy, and their tongues decided to join in. She ignored it, she ignored the masked face that momentarily appeared infront of her closed eyes, let herself sink to the floor, still mouth to mouth, breathing in Kiba's breath, while their kisses grew more passionate.  
>She only stopped, when his fingers testingly slid along the elastic of her underpants, covered his hand with hers and gently pushed it back a few centemeters further up.<br>„I'm sorry, I...", I think I need some time to get around the idea of you being my first – no she couldn't say that.  
>Kiba shook his head, smiling, then placed a small kiss on the tip of her nose.<br>„Don't be."

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> _Cat Power (although she herself already had borrowed the song)_

_PS: My apologies to anyone who is not happy with this turn of events._


	11. Blood Makes Noise

**Blood Makes Noise**

It was very quiet in the Hokage's office, the only sound to ruin the perfect silence was a moth that kept drumming her wings against the ceiling light's glass. Kakashi sat behind his desk and peered curiously at the piece of paper that lay infront of him.  
>„That's what you get for doing paper-work all day", he thought. The whole sheet was covered in numbers, written in what looked like his own hand, but no matter how long he stared, he could not make any sense of it. It seemed as if he, or who ever had written this, for he could not, by any means, recall doing so, had jotted down the characters at complete random. No doubt – the apparent randomness was some kind of encryption, but even so, why would he write an encrypted note to himself if he did not know how to decode it? Well, he could think of reasons to do so, but none of them seemed to match with the unimaginably peaceful conditions they were currently living in.<br>Then again, why would anyone writing an encrypted note to him go through the trouble of imitating his handwriting? And lastly, who on earth would think of pinning said encrypted note to his office's wall, of all places?  
>He placed his fingers on the piece of paper and turned it slowly counterclockwise – not because he thought this would do any good, but because he did not really know what else to do with it. Maybe he should just put it aside, get someone who actually felt comfortable with tight grids of random numbers to decode it tomorrow.<br>He felt tired and exhausted and, once more, a little irritated by the fact that office-work seemed to strain him way more than he had expected it to. A dull pain, which usually did not dare to make itself noticed unless Kakashi's body felt entirely and rightfully wronged, started to emerge from behind his left eye. Maybe he should just retire – maybe, in order to maintain the newly _established_ peace, the only right thing to do was to close down the Academy and – go home, get some sleep.

The second he got up, the pain behind his eye subsided, turned from dull to razor sharp, spread out and almost knocked him off his feet.  
>Steading himself with one hand on the windowframe, he breathed deep, willing the pain to go away. It wasn't far, he reminded himself, he practicalyl lived next door. Granted, there were an awfull lot of doors and corridors on the way, but he would managed.<p>

He got as far as the Academy's exit, before his legs finally gave way and send him crashing into the next wall. There were two ways to surpress pain, he thought while clinging on to consciousness as good as he could. As in this case fighting it evidently did not work very well, he allowed himself to relax, to slide down the wall he leant against.  
>He had half slipped into darkness, when a sudden slap in his face ordered him back to reality. He forced his visible eye open. In the dim light of the streetlamps and partly hidden behind the grey clouds that kept clouding his vision, he was able to make out the blurry image of a woman squatting in front of him. She seemed vaguely familiar. She also seemed to be talking to him, but it was hard to make out her words. Finally she wrapped his arms around her shoulders, tried to get him back to his feet again. „Just, bear with me here, senpai", her strained voiced came from somewhere far, far away.<br>„I'll get you to the hospital."  
>The next second her voice, her shoulder, the wall behind him as well the ground beneath his feet dissolved into nothingness.<p>

When Kakashi awoke, he found himself lying in his own bed. Outside the sun was shining and the sky had dressed itself in the most perfect blue. Yesterday's headaches seemed like a far away dream.  
>Kakashi rolled to his back, unconciously bit his nails. Maybe this was it. He had finally lost it.<br>He neither remembered taking a shower (the faint smell of his shampoo and the slightly damp pillow were a dead giveaway), nor coming home in the first place. He recalled leaving his office, feeling slightly dizzy. Everything thereafter was hidden inaccessibly behind thick layers of mist.  
>He stopped, midthought, persuaded his teeth to let go of his fingers for a moment. He raised his hand, looked at it intently, giving special attention to the space under his perfectly clean fingernails. Yes, he definitly was losing it, he thought. There was no sensible explanation for the faint taste of blood on his fingers.<p>

* * *

><p><em>This chapter's title was respectfully borrowed from: Suzanne Vega (who's pretty up-beat about it)<em>

_As you may, or may not, have noticed - I'm making this up as a I go along, tying lose ends together when ever I get the chance, but not really plotting anything on a bigger scale. I have a feeling, this is all heading in a dircetion I had not originally intended it to. I'm not sure what to think of it, yet... so - reviews, feedbacks and opinions are always welcome and greatly appreciated, right now even more so. :)_


	12. Haunted

**Haunted**

„I swear, if you don't stop moving, I'm going to cut it off!"  
>Shikamaru turned his head to give Ino an unimpressed look.<br>„You wouldn't", he said, the statement being more of a question, then reached up and pushed her hands, that were busy trying to disentangle a black knot of hair, away.  
>„Seriously", Ino sighed, while watching him easily remove the comb from its nest, after which he continued to brush his hair, all need of her help forgotten, „If didn't know any better, I'd say you're just putting on an act, because it's so very convenient to have me clean up after you."<br>On top of covering for Sakura in the emergency-room, Ino had just spent several hours in the head-medic's office debating who would have to come up for the costs of repainting the room Shikamaru had deliberately redocrated, and in the end lost the argument. She knew that it wasn't fair to let her frustration out on him, but right now she couldn't care less.  
>„I'm sorry", he mumbled, once he was finished with his hair, and curled up next to where Ino was sitting on his bed, placing his head on her lap. With his hair open falling around his face he looked more like an eight year old girl than the eighteen year old boy he was, Ino thought.<br>„I have to go home now", she explained „and get some sleep. And so should you."  
>Shikamaru nodded, obediently, and with Ino's watchfull eyes over him, crawled under his blanket.<br>„And promise me you won't do anything stupid again, yes?"  
>„I promise...", he replied and than, with an annoyance showing in his voice that almost made him sound like his old self added „You don't have to talk to me like I'm a little child, you know?"<p>

When Ino returned to the hospital the next day and wanted to check on Shikamaru he was gone. Or so it seemed. After a brief moment of panic, Ino remembered the last time Shikamaru had disappeared and indeed found him, again, cowering in the corner of his wardrobe, his legs tugged tight to his chest, his face burried between his knees.  
>„There you are", she said trying to sound as little belittling as possible.<br>„You had me worried for a second."  
>Shikamaru looked up, wide eyed, and absolutely unwilling to leave his hiding-place.<br>„It's coming", he whispered.  
>„What is?", Ino sighed, and, after yet a few failed attempts to get Shikamaru out of the wardrobe, climbed inside the cabinet as well, crouching infront from him.<br>„One was taken", Shikamaru continued, counting along with his fingers, „one will rise."  
>„What are you talking about?"<br>„It takes ten to claim the soul. One on each side", he tried to explain and held up both his hands, palms facing towards each other, in an attempt to illustrate the matter.  
>„You're not making any sense..."<br>„It lingers in the inbetween, lies waiting where they cross and hatches once the-"  
>„Shikamaru! Stop it, you're freaking me out!", Ino cut him off. She grapped his wrists firmly and pulled him back into the room. There he stood and stared at the hands, that were still holding him, as if he might run off the second they let go. His eyes followed the arms that were attached to those hands and led to a person, which, after a consinderable time of consideration, he decided was most likely and truely Yamanaka Ino, who looked mildly annoyed.<br>„It must be awfully troublesome to look after me", he contemplated and watched, his lips pressed together and brows forrowed in an expression of critical observation, as Ino's face changed, watched how it lost its strict, wilfully adult composure and seemed to melt, with tears running down her cheeks, leaving mascara-black trails behind them.

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> _Poe (Not the famous writer. Although I am sure he too wrote one or two poems sporting this title)  
>Reviews are warmly welcomed and appreciated.<br>_


	13. Possibly Maybe

**Possibly Maybe  
><strong>

It had been six days since Sakura had sent her request to Konoha, and still there was no reply. By now she was beginning to feel a bit concerned.  
>„Makes sense, though", Kiba suggest, when she mentioned it. He gently pulled her back to the bed she had just been about to leave.<br>„You looked after his paperwork all last year. With you gone it's probably piling up"  
>Sakura gave a half-laugh, and let herself fall back into Kiba's arms.<br>„As if", she shook her head, then closed her eyes and forced herself to forget about the Hokage, as Kiba's teeth teasingly made their way up her neck.  
>„We ha-", she began to say but lost her voice when he began nibbling her ear. His hand slowly made its way down the frontside of her body.<br>„-ve to", she tried again, then gave up talking alltogether.

There was a knock at the door, and while Kiba seemed pretty intent to ignore it Sakura, although somewhat reluctantly, wound her way out of his arms and out of his hand, climbed out of her bed and with a deep breath tried to regain as much composure as she could, before she made her way to the door and opened it just enough, as not to allow her visitor to gain sight of her bed.  
>„I didn't know you were still in bed", Kankuro greeted her, while his eyes, moving mostly on their own account, wandered from Sakura's ruffled hair, to the oversized T-Shirt and came to a momentary halt at her bare legs, before he willed them to concentrate on her face instead.<br>Sakura apologised for oversleeping, and told him she'd be at the lab in no time.  
>„Not the lab", Kankuro corrected her „There's been another victim. Seems our poison-mixer isn't that clever, or he'd use something different by now."<br>„So the victim...?"  
>„He's alright. Thanks to you. I thought you'd want to talk to him. Oh, and by the way", he added when he had already turned to leave „You haven't seen Kiba, have you?", but he did not wait for her answer.<p>

„You think he saw you?", Sakura asked, as soon as she had closed the door behind her, then stopped and stared at Kiba.  
>„You're licking your hand", she stated, too surprised to be shocked.<br>„Y-es?", he looked up at her quizzically.  
>„Why shouldn't I?"<br>„Because you just... you were..., I mean... that's not normal", Sakura stammered, collected her clothes and went for the bathroom, leaving Kiba with a somewhat hurt expression on his face.  
>When she returned, all clean and dressed, he was gone.<p>

She made her way to the infirmary, feeling both irritated and sorry, couldn't brush those feelings away, even when she was sitting next to the victims bed and questioned him about what he remembered from before passing out. He was a regular chuunin, and introduced himself as Nejiri.  
>„I remember you", he then said and pointed one finger at Sakura's hair. „You sat next to me, during the chuunin-exam <em>that<em> year."  
>Sakura nodded and smiled, even though she had not the faintest idea who he was, then changed the subject. As the posion used most likely worked on contact, so anything he had touched before its effect set in could be a clue.<br>„Hmm... I don't know", Nejiri thought out loud „I didn't really do much... I just got up, took a shower and-"  
>„That's it!", Sakura cut him off, jumped to her feet triumphantly and – right on cue – collapsed, landing face first on Nejiri's legs.<p>

As the antidote was administered before the poison had had any chance to spread from the deeper layers of skin into the bloodstream, it didn't take long before Sakura came around. She opened her eyes to find Kiba sitting next to her. To her great relieve he was smiling, though the smile soon turned to a smirk.  
>„See", he said „I would have licked you clean, head to toe, but-"<br>Sakura grimaced. „I'm sorry, I just..."  
>„No", Kiba grinned „that last line sounded weird, even in my ears."<br>They just looked each other in the eyes for some time, before Sakura brought herself in a sitting position.  
>„Hm...", she made „I guess, I'll just have to get used to your more... uhm... animalistic traits, if I... If we... I mean...", she felt the blood rush to her cheeks, and quickly looked away.<br>„If we?", Kiba raised one eyebrow, and for a second Sakura wished him to answer that question. He didn't. So Sakura continiued: „I mean, if this here", she gestured with her finger toward them both, „isn't just because we're out here, and there's no one else available."  
>She innerly cursed herself. Why would she say something like that? Why did she have to -<br>Her thoughts ended there, when Kiba leant foreward, pinned her down to her bed with both his hands and dragged his tongue once across her cheek, before placing a small, but honest kiss on her lips.

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><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> _Björk_


	14. Girlfriend in a Coma

Girlfriend in a Coma

Although the old memorial, which Pain had destroyed, had been replaced, and there was a new block of granit bearing their names now, it was nothing but a replicate, a substitute, a dead stone where tracing the ingraved names was neither comforting nore a reminder of the dead. It had been some time since Kakashi had last come here. Visiting the new memorial didn't feel right and the realisation that over the years he had grown attached to an actual stone and not – as he had always believed – the symbolic meaning it held, had had him question his own sanity.  
>On this day however his feet had decided to act on their own and carried him, once he had left the Elders with what ever they did when they were not bussy lecturing the (at least in their eyes) very young Hokage, to the memorial. Maybe he held the faint hope that the headaches that had bothered him for the past few das were but Obito's way of reminding him to come and visit the stone reminder once in a while. Maybe it was the strong desire to talk to someone –<br>Two hours he had spent listening to the Elder's advice and suggestions without saying so much as a word. He was well aware that the recent disappearance of Uzuki Yugao was no matter that could be ignored, the disappearance of an ANBU-memember never was, and while he understood that the most logical consequence was to gather information from the neighbouring countries, he also felt that it would put a strain on the not yet fully grown bonds of trust between the Allied Nations. He had dispatched three searchparties, but refused to take any further actions for now.  
>It was not only his concern for the political situation though, which made him hesitate. There was also this feeling he had had, ever since he first learned that Yugao had disappeared. Something that lingered somewhere in the back of his head but slipped away whenever he tried to bring it up to his conscious mind.<p>

Kakashi looked at the new memorial, which did not yet show any signs of its continual exposour to nature's moods, on which no fingers had yet managed to leave their traces from too many visits, where the names engraved were nothing but a copied list, for the ones who had dug them into the stone hardly knew those whose memory they tried to preserve. As if to further emphasise its insignificance there were no flowers for the deceased here either. Those who moaned their lost friends did so at the Memorial of the Fourth Great War.  
>Kakashi wanted to apologise, but was unable to find the right words. He was almost gratefull when a flash of pain drilled its way from his left eye, through his head and down his spine, sudden and intense enough to make him gasp. While it lasted only an split second and left nothing behind but a slight dizziness, it was the fifth, no sixth time that something like this had occured within the past three days. By now Kakashi suspected that it was not his exhaustion which caused the attacks, but rather the other way around.<br>Reluctantly he left the memorial, and made his way for the hospital. Even if it was nothing serious – if Yugao's disappearance should bring more than the average trouble with it, he'd better sort out any health-issues beforehand.

He casually leant at the receptionist's counter, while the receptionist browsed through various scheduals.  
>„I'm sorry, Hokage-sama", she said, her voice a few pitches too high, „but you will have to wait for at least one houre. I'll try to reschedual some of the appointments, but I can't guarantee aynthing, I mean, you're not suffering from any accute injuries, are you?", she looked at him over the rim of her glasses, her long lashes fluttering.<br>Kakashi briefly considered to tell her that the only accute injuries he recieved since he had taken on the position as Hokage were papercuts, then decided otherwise. She'd probably regard it as a good thing.  
>„No, I'll just wait then", he said instead. One houre of waiting equaled one hour of reading, which was something he had had little time for since paperwork had decided to become his worst enemy.<br>He had just seated himself somewhere in the furthest corner of the foyer, when someone – he did not really pay much attention, what ever happened here was not part of his responisibilities, and there was no way he would try to change that – rushed into the hall, screaming for help. Said someone was closely followed by another shinobi who carried a young kunoichi that hung in his arms giving a very dead impression.  
>Not quite knowing why Kakashi raised his eye from the pages of his book and looked across the room, as nurses rushed in and put the half-dead girl on a stretcher. She was about fifteen, maybe sixteen years old, her brown, shoulder-length hair was clotted with dirt, as was her dark purple dress, black pants, the black stockings that had slipped half way down her gangly fifteen-year-old-legs. Her forehadprotector, which had losend itself and now covered half of her face, bore the old symbol of Konoha, instead of the new Allied Shinboi Forces signet.<br>Something about her felt oddly familiar, Kakashi thought, but before he got the chance of a second glance, she was already gone and he forced himself to return his attentions back to his book. But, no matter to which of his favourite passages he turned, his thoughts would not keep still, returned to the half dead girl over and over again, untill he finally decided to ask the shinobi who brought her here, but they were already gone. Kakashi cursed his lack of interest earlier on, then went to the receptionist, who – before he even had the chance to say anything – broke into a flood of excuses for the inconveniences she thought she had caused him. By the time she had finished, so many other patients and visitors had lined up behind Kakashi, that he did not dare to say anything other than that he'd be out in the hospital's garden, just in case she needed to know.

* * *

><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectuflly borrowed from:<em> _The Smiths_

_This chapter does not cover half of what it should have, which leaves me with the task of re-organising the next three chapters I already had planned. Hmpf.  
>In other news, some might have noticed that I changed the rating after the last chapter. I'm not sure if it really was necessary, but I wanted to be on the safe side.<br>Also, in case anyone wondered, I changed my pen-name, because the one I used so far was one I had (apparently) come up with nine years ago, and really didn't feel comfortable with any longer.  
>And lastly, from now on I probably won't manage to update everyday anymore. But there will be updates, so bear with me.<br>_


	15. Redefine the Enemy

**Redefine the Enemy**

The longer he followed that trail, the stronger that feeling grew. Something was very wrong, but it was only when he entered the cave, took in the sight and smells of the place, that Pakkun realised how very wrong this _wrong_ had to be.  
>It was a good thing he had run up ahead, and without a second thought he turned, raced back the way he came, and as soon as he neared Neji and Ten-Ten ordered them to stop right where they were.<br>„Sorry, guys", he panted and gave them the most apologetic puppy-eyes „my bad. Must have confused the scents", he lowered his head and mumbled something about how embarassing this was, then looked back up again.  
>„Better head back to the village and see what the others got."<br>„Shouldn't we at least check?", Ten-Ten objected, and imediatly was backed up by Neji who nodded, brows knit.  
>„Don't you think I know, when I made a mistake?", Pakkun barked back, making it very clear that he did not at all apreciate their attempts to rub his nose even deeper in his failure than it already was.<br>„We've already wasted enough time. Come on. Let's go back", he had already started running in the village's direction.  
>„I don't recall anyone appointing you the team's captain", Neji called after him.<br>Pakkun stopped. He turned and looked up at the human in the most intimidating way possible for a pug. „If I may remind you, _captain_", he growled „I am the Hokage's summon, thus his direct representative. Understood? Now, move it!"

Kakashi stood in his office and stared at his half lucent reflection in the window. There was nothing wrong with him, or his head or his Sharingan, the medic had told him – although her face did not quite seem to agree. Then again, she might as well have been worried at the pure fact that he would actually consider wasting her precious time because of something as trivial as a migrain. Kakashi grimaced at the thought. Migrains had always struck him as something only housewifes or secretaries would have to deal with. Then again, being Hokage during times of peace wasn't much more than being a mercenary-agencies head secretary.  
>„Care to let me in on what's going on?", a voice called behind him. As Kakashi turned he saw Pakkun sitting on his desk, the most demanding expression his face.<br>Kakashi sighed and sat back into his office-chair. „Apparently I'm suffering from migrains."  
>„You're missing the point", Pakkun pointed out, own paw pointing in his master's direction.<br>„The point being?"  
>„I found the place where Yugao vanished."<br>„And?"  
>Pakkun narrowed his eyes and examined Kakashi carefully.<br>„You tell me!", he then said.  
>„Tell you what?"<br>There was a brief silence in which Pakkun considered the off-chance that he could be wrong. It had been only on few occasions, that he had seen Kakashi look as puzzled as he did at this instance.  
>„She was killed, and from the looks of it it was quite fight", Pakkun paused, waited for Kakashi to say something, but he just nodded. For some reason he had never expected them recover Yugao alive.<br>„Anything regarding her opponent?", Kakashi finally asked.  
>„Well, you tell me. It's your smell that's all over that place."<p>

* * *

><p><em>This chapter's Titel was respectfully borrowed from:<em> _Atari Teenage Riot_

_Back with shorter chapters. I guess that's the only way I'll be able to keep updating on a more or less regular basis.  
>Hmmm... I've got a feeling my subtle quotation from chapter 4 (if anyone even noticed) is subtly getting back at me...<em>


	16. Possession

**Possession**

After a good hour of walking through the forest surrounding Konoha they finally reached the small cave Pakkun had discovered earlier this morning.  
>„Still no memories?", he asked.<br>Kakashi shook his head. He did have an odd feeling, like when your not sure if you turned off the gas before leaving the house, but no actual memories. There was also the sensation of being watched. Not the being-watched feeling you get when you actually are being watched, but the one you used to have as a child, when you just knew that inside the cupboard there were all sorts of evil spirits lurking. But most prominently of all there was the smell of dried blood clearly emitting from the cave's entrance.  
>Pakkun was already half inside, when he noticed that Kakashi was no longer following him. He stopped and turned to see Kakashi standing still, slightly forward bent, his hands covering his face.<br>„You're okay?", the dog asked.  
>„Ye-s", Kakashi replied through gritted teeth. „I'm.. I'm fine. You go ahead, I'll be with you in a second"<br>„You sure?"  
>There was a reasuring nod. Pakkun flapped his ears, as the dog-equivalent of shrugging, and trotted on.<p>

The cave had not changed since this morning. Piles of rubble were still scattered across the floor, where the stonewalls had recently taken damage, bloodstains still covered the ground, and the scents were still overwhelming enough to have Pakkun feel uncomfortable.  
>„Migraines, eh?", he said when he finally heard Kakashi's footsteps entering the cave.<br>„Hm?", Kakashi blinked, then nodded. He strode over to where Pakkun was, right in the centre of the almost perfectly circular room. The dog was scratching the dried blood beneath his paws, then looked up at his master, brows furrowed (although, admittedly it was hard to tell, as pugs usually look somewhat furrowed around their face).  
>„What do you make of this", he pointed one foot at the marks he had just uncover, edged in the stonefloor.<br>„Looks like a summoning circle", Pakkun suggested as there was no answer, but Kakashi did not seem to be interested. His one visible eye was focused on Pakkun, as if he was sizing him up.  
>„Shame", he sighed „you won't be half as good as a human. Still, better than nothing at all."<br>Before Pakkun had the slightest idea of what was going on, Kakashi had grapped him firmly, one hand around his throat, the other covering the dog's snout, forcing it shut.  
>„Tell me, did Kakashi ever wonder why I left him alive, when I had every chance to kill him?", Kakashi asked.<br>Pakkun struggled in his hands, but managed nothing more than a muffled growl.  
>„I'll tell you why", Kakashi's eye took a crescent, smiley form „He's my come-back ticket!"<br>Again, Pakkun could do nothing but growl as he tried to somehow losen the firm grip Kakashi had on his jaws. He did not fully understand what had happened, but he fully understood that he had to get out of here and at best someones attention as well, while he was at it. He wondered if his master finally had snapped, an idea which, to his own surprise, did not surprise him too much, although he would have expected Kakashi to snap in a slightly different direction.  
>„You see, this cave is special. No one cares much about it, because most people get all panicky once they get too close. You know why that is?"<br>The dog growled.  
>„It's a softspot, where borders between worlds are thinner than usual. You can almost hear them", he made a shushing noise, and for a brief second just sat and listened.<br>„Unfortunately I am trapped in a world with rather thick walls", he continued „but, luckily I found a way to soften them."  
>Kakashi shook his head. He looked sympathetically at the still struggling and growling dog in his hands.<br>„I'd better go on and sacrifice you, before I have bored you to death."

* * *

><p><em>This chapters title was respectfully borrowed from: The Sisters of Mercy.<em>

_I honestly have no idea if anything of what I came up with so far makes any sense at all (in the World of Naruto that is), as I am really not as deep into this Univers as I maybe should be for writing about it.  
><em>

_Anyway, I'd be very grateful for any sort of critique, or simply to hear what you think so far.  
><em>


	17. One of a Kind

**One of a Kind**

Pakkun had hoped that, in order to kill him, Kakashi would have to let go of him, and thus give him a chance to wiggle free. But the second his body was freed of Kakashi's hand, one knee pressed down on the dog's small ripcage.  
>One last attempt to open his mouth, one last growl, then Pakkun closed his eyes, this is it, he thought. He remembered, that being a summon, he could and probably should simply pop back home, but his canine loyality ordered him to stay. What ever had taken possession of his master, he could not just leave him to it.<br>„Kshi", he managed to force through Kakashi's fingers, as he felt – his eyes still closed – the sharp edge of a knife touching his skin.

„I'd let him go, if I was you"  
>Pakkun opened his eyes. He knew that voice all too well. Kakashi, kneeling above him, too seemed to be taken by surprise, for a split second his hold on Pakkun losened, enough time for the dog to get free, and hurry to the feet of the figure standing in the cave's entrance.<br>„Incredible", Kakashi said „you actually managed to isolate part of your consciousness within a Kage Bunshin before I took over", he shook his head in disbelieve. Then he started to laugh, a loud and extroverted laugh which didn't suit his voice at all.  
>„So, what's your plan?", he asked „All it takes is one blow, and you'll disappear"<br>Pakkun looked up at the Kakashi standing next to him.  
>„What makes you so sure that you're the original?", he said.<br>For a split second False Kakashi hesitated, then he leaped foreward to attack.  
>„Your chances are fifty-fifty", Kakashi said, as he jumped out of his attackers way.<br>„You need me alive, don't you?"  
>False Kakashi stared up at where Kakashi was standing on a treebranch, holding a kunai to his own throat.<br>The next second False Kakashi collapsed, like a doll that got its strings cut. Pakkun waited for him to disappear, then heard a quiet puff from up overheads, as the second Kakashi vanished into thin air.

Pakkun trotted over to his master's collapsed form. He nudged him with his head, then, as this did not show any effect, licked Kakashi's ear, his tongue as wet as the current situation allowed.  
>It didn't take long and one irritated hand pushed him aside.<br>Slowly Kakashi sat up. He dried his ear with his sleeve, then looked at Pakkun, his expression somewhere between deeply concerned and mildly annoyed.  
>„Are you alright?", he asked.<br>Pakkun narrowed his eyes.  
>„What did you get for your sixth birthday?"<br>Kakashi told him, and Pakkun nodded, satisfied with the answer.  
>„I'm fine", he then stated „How did you know this was going to work?"<br>Kakashi got to his feet, he stood for a moment, looked around, then down at Pakkun.  
>„Come on", he said „I don't think we should stay here."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Placebo<em>

_For anyone who wonders what Kakashi got for his sixth birthday: As with the chapter's titles, I also borrow these characters __with all due respect. So, when Kakashi asked me not to make this information public, I respectfully respected his request._


	18. Mother Stands For Comfort

**Mother Stands for Comfort**

As they neared Konoha, Sakura and Kiba slowed down to a casual walking pace. When the village's gate was almost in sight Sakura stopped, forcing Kiba to do the same.  
>„I don't know if we should go all public about this", she said, while looking at their hands, which were still holding each other.<br>Kiba grinned.  
>„Why not?", he said and added that the old ninja-conventions were outdated anyway.<br>Sakura shrugged, unsure what to tell him. However, she did not need to come up with an answer, for at that moment Kiba suddenly let go of her.  
>„What's wrong?", Sakura looked at him confused.<br>„N-nothing", he scratched the back of his head, then continued walking, hands stuffed in his pockets.  
>„Did I say something wrong?", Sakura hurried to follow him.<br>„No, it's not – it's just-", they came to an abrupt halt, as there was someone blocking their way.  
>To be more percise, there was one woman, who stood in their way, her arms folded, her slitted eyes fixed on the two young ninjas, her dog, one-eared and eyepatched, standing next to her.<br>Sakura had never actually met Inuzuka Tsume before, but it did not take a lot of deductive skills to recognise her as Kiba's mother.  
>„Are you trying to avoid me?", she said, sounding less intimidating than she looked. In fact she appeared to be fairly amused by the emberassed expression that spread across her son's face.<br>Kiba shook his head and mumbled something along the lines of „Hi Mum", but Tsume had already turned her attention to Sakura.  
>„Sakura-san, right? It's nice to finally meet you in person."<br>„Likewise", Sakura nodded her head in return and smiled politely. She noticed Kiba next to her shifting his weight uncomfortably, his ears positively glowing.  
>„I'm sorry, but have to get going", she added quickly „with our delayed return, we'd better report back to Kakashi-Sen...sama right away."<br>„ You really took your time with the sand", Tsume replied, then turned to her dog.  
>„C'mon, Kuromaru, we've still got some work to do", and the next second both of them vanished into the woods lining the street.<p>

„What did she mean, meet me in person?", Sakura casually inquired, when they approached the Academy Building.  
>Kiba shrugged, his eyes still glued to his feet. Then he looked up, giving Sakura the widest smile.<br>„Well", he said, stretching the word unnecessarily, „You know, you're sort of a celebrity..."  
>„Hm", made Sakura, and smiled inwardly as Kiba's ears once again took on a more reddish colour. True, her name was well known after the war, although Sakura did not quite understand why, but she felt certain, that Kiba's mother had not been talking about her reputation as a medic.<p>

As they enter the Hokage's office, they see not Kakashi, but Hagane Kotetsu sitting behind the wide desk. Before he had the time to greet the two returnees, Sakura had asked, in a blunt manner, where Kakashi was.  
>„Looking into something", Kotetsu replied, miming quotationmarks with his fingers. „I don't know, I just sit here, in case any important clients show up out of nowhere and need someone to talk to. And also", he added quickly, as Sakura was already about to turn and leave „to welcome anyone who reports back from their mission. So if you want to talk to me, please do so."<br>Sakura shook her head, and asked when Kakashi might be back. She got nothing but a shrug in reply, so she in turn shrugged, grapped Kiba by his sleeve and dragged him outside.  
>„Please don't tell me, you want to search him? Because, really, he's a grown man and also, I am starving", he said, as soon as they were once more out on the street.<br>„I don't know what you're talking about", Sakura laughed and tucked her hair.  
>„Actually my plans were more like: Grab something to eat and then take you home to my place."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Kate Bush<em>

_Initially I had planned Tsune to be somewhat bitchy (no pun intended) towards Sakura, but after thinking it over and over I realised that "The Girl Who Habitualy Beats Her Boys Unconcsious" and "The Woman Who Scared Her Husband Away" probably connect easily._

_I don't think she'd be my mother-in-law of choice though._

_As always, feedback and comments are more than welcome and appriciated. It's always nice to know what you guys think of the stuff my mind conjures up while I'm alone._


	19. Rake It In

**Rake It In  
><strong>

Removing all traces that would connect him to the murder of Yugao wasn't too hard. Professionalism kicked in and, for the time being, erased any feeling of remorse, or guilt. Neither Kakashi nore Pakkun said much, not untill they had returned to the village, had walked past the guards outside the Hokage's Residence and Kakashi had locked the doors to his bed-chambers behind them.  
>Pakkun sat down at the foot of Kakashi's bed and looked up at his master, who still stood by the door, motionless, his eye transfixed on his hands.<br>„So?", Pakkun asked after a while.  
>„Hm?", Kakashi raised his head, then shuffled over to the dog and sat down next to him.<br>„You're sure it's him?", the dog asked.  
>Kakashi nodded, ever so slightly. He absentmindedly started to dig his fingers into Pakkun's fur, pulling him closer to his side.<br>„Then what's the plan?", the dog asked, but the only answer he got were short fingernails scratching behind his ears.  
>After a seeminlgy endless time of silence, during which Pakkun wondered if his master might have stopped talking althoghter, Kakashi finally said: „It's obvious, don't you think?"<br>Pakkun raised his head, his worried expression growing even more worried.  
>„If he needs me alive to-", but Kakashi was cut of, before he could finish that sentence.<br>„I really had hoped I would not have to talk you out of this", Pakkun growled. He slipped away from under Kakashi's finger.  
>„I mean, sure, it's a brilliant idea", the dog said „Especially as you don't hold any kind of responsibility. After all, it's not as if the alliance of peace was still very young and existed mostly because the five Kages are there to oppose the opposition, right? And even if that was the case, luckily in Konoha there are no shinobi at all who think, that a peacefull world will render them purposless. Who would gladly welcome and kind of international conflict."<br>There was no reaction, so Pakkun continiued.  
>„And knowing where the Elders stand in this discussion, they of course would never even think about suggesting someone of the opposition as your successor, right?"<br>„I wasn't planning to do this without preperation", Kakashi snapped back. He stared Pakkun in the eyes, but the dog did not so much as step back.  
>„Then who-?"<br>„I was thinking of Sakura."  
>At this notion Pakkun started to laugh, he shook his head, ears flapping.<br>„Seriously? She's a sweet kid, but-"  
>„She's known as one of the best medics of the five elements, she's entrusted with Tsunade-Samas legacy-"<br>„-which she does not know yet"  
>„And she spent the last four years assisting both Tsunade and me as the Hokage, so she'll know what to expect."<br>„She also tried to kill herself, not three month ago", Pakkun helpfully pointed out, but Kakashi did not seem to think of it as too relevant.  
>„She's past that", he stated.<br>Pakkun grumbled. He was getting tired of this conversation.  
>„I'm sure having you kill yourself won't change much about that", he mused, while jumping off Kakashi's bed, „It's not like you two are especially close, right?"<br>„She'll understand", Kakashi replied, although not quite as convinced as he had planned to „She's strong, she'll deal with it."  
>Pakkun gave dark laugh.<br>„Right, like I've never heard that line before", he muttered to himself, then turned back to Kakashi.  
>„You know what", he barked „Go ahead, do what ever you want. You probably know best what you're asking from Sakura."<br>And the next moment he disappeard.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Imogen Heap <em>


	20. Virgin State of Mind

**Virgin State of Mind**

Shikamaru didn't get a lot of visitors. He didn't mind so much though, he could tell that he made them feel uneasy, they did not know what to say, and generally only dropped by to ease their own consciense. He wasn't angry at them. He understood that something about him had changed, although he did not understand what exactly. Occasionally he tried to remembere, what being him had been like before, but most of the time it would only confuse him. It wasn't that he could not remember past events, but the memories came and went, fluttered by, without any context and too fast to focus on.  
>On some days he knew, that is was his ability to focus that had changed. Before, he knew on those days, he had been able to focus, to blend out all unneccessary details, while these days he usually found himself overwhelmed by the indefinite amount of information that flooded his senses.<br>He was staring at the big picture, seeing the interconnectedness of everything, but was unabled to fully grasp it, as he saw everything at the same time.  
>On other days, he got lost in details. On those days he could spent hours just staring at the entangled threads that made up his beddings, trying to figure out why on earth something like woven fabric even existed.<p>

Today was one of those days. He was lying on his back, his eyes focused on a fly, which flew a few centimeters below the ceiling, when the door to his new room (for he had had to change rooms, so that his old room could be renovated), slid open. He briefly wondered if it was already time for Ino's evening visit, but the sun was still high up in the sky. Of course, there was always the possibility, that the sun had changed her mind and decided to just stay up all day and night for once. Then he wondered, if it could be the nurse who brought him lunch, but then remembered that he had already eaten. He always felt much calmer after lunch.  
>The visitor was not Ino, nore a nurse, but the only person who visited him on a more or less regular basis, and the only one whose visits he enjoyed a little. She was the only person who did not talk to him as if he was a little child. Or maybe she did, but with a voice that was well used to talking to a little child with all the neccessary respect.<br>„How are you?", she asked – she always did, and he never knew what to answer – and sat down on his matrace.  
>„It always flies in triangles", Shikamaru replied. Kurenai followed his gaze up to the ceiling.<br>„But the angles aren't right", he added.  
>„They don't add up to onehundret and eighty degrees", Shikamaru explained.<br>„I think, it acutally wants to draw a circle, but it only can fly in straight lines and flat angles."

For a long time they sat in silence and both watched the insect. It usually was like this, Kurenai never tried to impose a converstaion on Shikamaru, she never told him anything if he did not ask her to, as if she knew how much of an effort it was for him to keep track with someone else's train of thoughts.  
>„They put sedatives in my food", Shikamaru said after a while, although he wasn't quite sure, if they really did.<br>Kurenai looked at him, her brows furrowed. She knew that Shikamaru had made quite a ruckus during the past weeks. It wasn't just the drawing on his wall – shortly afterwards he had tried to destroy said drawing, and while doing so had smashed most of the room's furnishing.  
>He had also tried to run off a few times, and even managed to seriously injure one of the nurses who worked the night-shift. It was sort of understandable that the hospital-staff would chose to sedate him, even though Kurenai and Ino both had agreed, in one of their many conversations regarding Shikamaru, that any kind of medication for him was out of the question. He was not suffering some kind of mental disorder, the two women agreed – he had fallen victim to one extraordinarily powerfull genjutsu, which not even Kurenai could begin to comprehend. To drug him in his current condition was careless, to say the least.<br>„Did you tell Ino?", Kurenai asked. She could not imagen, however troublesome Shikamaru's behaviour might have been lately, that the younger woman would have agreed to such measures.  
>„She says I'm just paranoid", Shikamaru shrugged.<br>„Don't tell her, please. She'll just get angry..."  
>„I won't. Promise!", Kurenai answered, determined to do the exact opposite.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: K's Choice<em>

_This might be one of my favourite chapters so far. Also, I'm happy that I managed to bring Kurenai in. (It really bugs me that the strong female characters in Naruto never get quite as much attention as they deserve... Which reminds me - maybe I should make room for Ten-Ten to feature some more in this story.)_


	21. Pure Morning

**Pure Morning**

When Sakura woke up that morning, or rather midday, it took her some time to realise that she was no longer in her guestquarters in Suna, but in her own appartment – that it was her own bed she was lying in, her own bed, in which Kiba was lying next to her. She smiled at the sight of him, still asleep, and marveled at how calm he looked just now.  
>Carefully, as she did not want to wake him, she got up and tiptoed into the kitchen to see if her fridge had anything left to offer for breakfast. She knelt down and stared at the gaping emptiness she was presented with, when a noise startled her. She wasn't sure what it was, or where it had come from. „Mice", was her first thought. Maybe during her absence they had found a way into her home to claim it for themselves?<br>There it was again, lasted a little longer and allowed her to locate it as coming from the door.  
>She sighed, let the fridge-door swing shut and headed for that of her appartment. She peered through the syphole, but could not see anyone. She cautiously opened, just a small crack, but evidently enough for a pug to slip inside.<br>„Did I wake you?", was the first thing Pakkun said, after he had looked her up and down (though, given his height, it was more up than down). Sakura shook her head. Then a thought occured to her.  
>„Did something happen?", she asked. Something must have happened for Kakashi to send Pakkun.<br>She did not get anything but a low „hm", for a reply. That and the thoughtfull advice that she should get dressed.  
>„Right. I'll be with you in a second", she shoved the dog back outside and told him to wait there, fully aware that this was a little rude – then again he had entered her flat without even asking for her invitation. Somewhere in the back of her head she hoped, that Pakkun had neither seen nore smelled that she was not alone.<br>She picked up her clothes, that lay neatly folded on her sofa, and went to the bathroom. She considered taking a shower, but then decided otherwise, if Kakashi sent his summon to summon her, it porbably was for reasons more urgent than her morning routines. She got dressed, brushed her teeth and her hair, scribbled a quick note to explain her absence as well as the absence of anything edible in her kitchen and left.

She was lead, and she could not tell whether it surprised her or not, not to the Academy Building and the Hokage's office, but instead to his residence. This was weird, as she would have expected Kakashi to be at his office during this time of day, but then again she had expected something more or less out of the ordinary. She followed Pakkun through long, winding corridors, untill he stopped infront of one door.  
>„Hey", Pakkun said.<br>„Just so you know, I tried to talk him out of this. It wasn't my idea, and I really don't like it. I'm just the messanger."  
>„Understood", Sakura muttered, unsure what to make of his remark, but with a growing feeling of unease. Then she reached up and pushed the door open.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Placebo.<br>_


	22. Disarm

**Disarm**

Sakura stared, unabled to fully grasp what had happened. She felt her hands trembling, and quickly trapped them between her knees. She tore her eyes away from them and up to the ninken, all eight of them, who had gathered around them. This had to be a joke, she thought, halfheartedly waited for everyone to jump up and shout „Gotcha!", and laugh. But no one jumped up, no one laughed.  
>„You... really think it is Madara?", she finally brought herself to say, forced herself to look at Kakashi. All he did was shrug, he could not think who else it should be.<br>Sakura's gaze wandered to Pakkun. She wondered what it had been like, to have the one person you trusted the most threaten to kill you... Her thoughts momentarily drifted back to Sasuke, to the point when he had been fully consumed by his hunger for revenge. No matter how far he had come embracing vengance as his sole purpose, it still had always been Sasuke himself, which had made it all the harder to bear, but also so much easier to keep up hope.  
>„You understand that no one can know about this?", Kakashi called her back to his rooms.<br>Sakura nodded her head. She understood. Should anyone find out, he – Kakashi – would be considered too much of a threat to the village's well-being and, in a worst case scenario, the opposition of his alliance-friendly policy would take advantage of this.  
><em>Why did you tell me?<em>, Sakura wanted to ask, but the words that tumbled out of her mouth formed another question:  
>„What are you going to do?"<br>For less than a split second she saw something flickering in his eye. Fear? Helplessness? Before Sakura had had the chance to fully realise it, it was gone, replaced by the same optimistic smile she knew all too well from all too many hopeless situations they had faced together.  
>„I'll figure out how to seal him off", Kakashi said, as if there was nothing special to it. Then his expression grew more serious. He looked at Sakura, looked at the way she was kneeling next to him, her hands still clasped between her knees, her shoulders hunched, her teeth chewing on her lower lip. Maybe he had misjudged her, maybe she really was much weaker than he admitted her to be? Kakashi pushed that thought back to the dark and and easily forgotten corner of his mind where it had come from. Sakura's own habit of underestimating herself made it so much harder not to do the same.<br>He nodded towards Pakkun, who growled something unintelligable, and the next second vanished, leaving nothing behind but a small cloud of dust.  
>„Untill I have done so, I need you to-"<br>Sakura's eyes briefly met that of Kakashi, then she turned her head. Of course, there was no way he would have let her in on something like this because he actually needed someone to confide in.  
>„I need you to keep an eye on me."<br>„I thought that's what the dogs are here for"  
>„Hmm", Kakashi gave his ninken an apologetic look before he explained, there was only so much they could do.<br>„Sakura, we don't know, if he only uses me as a vessel, or if he can actually use my body to its full extend."  
>Sakura swallowed. Even if it would render him much less powerfull than he originally had been, to think that Madara could access each and every one of Kakashi's jutsu was beyond unsettling.<br>„So, what am I supposed to do? I wouldn't stand a chance against you- him"  
>Kakashi didn't answer. He didn't have to. At this moment Pakkund had reappeared, a small, plain-looking scroll between his teeth, which he dropped in Sakura's lap.<br>She picked it up, carefull not to touch the dog's saliva that stuck to it. There was nothing remarkable about it, nothing to even hint that it was anything more than a piece of rolled up parchment.  
>She tried to open it, but to no avail, although there was nothing to suggest the scroll to be sealed shut, she could not lift the paper's edge. She was just about to try and slide her thumb's nail (which was a little longer than those on her other fingers) under the parchment's edge, when Kakashi reached over to her, for an instant his hands covered hers, than he gently pulled the scroll from her grasp and opened it, without any difficutlies. He unrolled it and placed it on the floor infront of them and once again Sakura was left staring and unable to fully comprehent what her eyes were seeing. There was the same symbol Kakashi, like anyone who was or had once been a member of the ANBU, had tattooed on his shoulder, surrounded by a circle of letters and symbols which only slowly, almost unwillingly, revealed their meaning to Sakura.<br>„This is...", she breathed.  
>„...a precaution", Kakashi finished the sentence for her. He could feel Pakkun glaring at him, could swear that the other ninken were doing the same. „How can you ask this of her?", their eyes said and „Why don't you just trust us to take care of it?"<br>„I need you to sign it", Kakashi almost whispered, as if that would allow the request to escape his dogs' ears.  
>„I can't", Sakura wanted to say, wanted to scream, wanted to tear the document infront of her to little pieces, but she couldn't. She understood the gravity of the situation, trusted Kakashi enough to know, that he would never ask this of her if it wasn't absolutely necessary.<br>She bit her finger to draw blood, and – her hand shaking – signed the contract.  
>„I'm sure it won't come to this", Kakashi said, when Pakkun had once more vanished to take the scroll back to its place. He did not sound half as convincing as Sakura would have liked him to.<br>„But if things should get out of control", his hand moved hesitantly in her direction, but stopped before it had reached either her shoulder, or her arm „You have to – act accordingly."

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Smashing Pumpkins.<em>


	23. She's My Way

**She's My Way  
><strong>

At first Shikamaru thought Ino was angry at _him_. There were the same flushed cheeks, the same clenched jaws and fists, the same crease between her brows that made her otherwise pretty face look like that of an old hag, which he had seen far too often for his likings during the past weeks, when she stomped into his room that morning. But she did not shout at him, did not lecture him for something he could barely remember to have done. She did not even say good morning, just walked right over to his wardrope, flung the doors open and started stuffing his belongings into the bag she had brought with her.  
>„Get dressed!", she ordered, and flung some clothes in his direction.<br>Shikamaru looked at the shirt and the trousers. He rather liked his pyjamas, he thought. They kept him warm and covered him sufficiantly to make him appear appropriatly dressed – as long as he moved within the hospital walls – and most of all they were comfortable. Why would he change them for something that was mostly designed to look like something shown in some magazine and not at all to just fullfill its purpose?  
>„I know you don't need my help, so get a move on!", Ino almost pushed him inside the small bathroom that came with his room and shut the door behind him.<p>

For a long time Shikamaru had wanted to get out of hospital, and now that Ino dragged him (there was no other word for it) out of the building he had been confined to for the past year, it felt as if he had finally found a way to escape. He wasn't entirely sure how he had managed this, but was quite sattisfied that everyone – including Ino herself – seemed convinced that he was not escaping from hospital at all, but rather taken away from here.  
>The feeling of satisfaction did not last long, though. Soon enough they joined the hustle and bustle of Konoha's main streets, where signs dangled from every building, demanding to be read. Everywhere around them were people talking, gesturing, shouting, running around. Shikamaru tried to block them out, block out the snippets of converstation that reached him, too many and too fast to follow any of them but all the while too clear and distinguishable to be ignored.<br>Shikamaru wanted to run away, to hide somewhere, but Ino held him firmly, manoeuvred them both through the crowd without ever getting in anyone's way, while Shikamaru stumbled after her, tripping over his feet, when his eyes had yet again been caught by something. When Ino finally pushed through the flower-shop's door and let go of his hand, it took him less than a second to spot the darkest corner the room had to offer, and – knocking over some vases and buckets holding cut flowers – vanished in its shadows, where he sat, covered his eyes and ears with his hands and arms and slowly rocked back and forth. He could feel water seeping through his trousers and wondered if it had started to rain. He did not considere it very likely for rain to fall indoors, but then again, this place did not feel very much like indoors. The air was moist and heavy with scents of different flowers. It probably did not rain, he decided after a while, because the water only spread on the floor-tiles, however, if he wanted to be sure he would have to uncover either his ears or eyes or both, and he could hear, even through his hands, the high pitched voices of two women arguing. He wished he was able to fully block them out, but he wasn't. He wished he was still in his hospitalroom. At least it was quiet there, and the floor was dry and not as cold as it was here, and the air was breathable.

Later Shikamaru stood in the room Ino had told him was „his" now, a new pair of trousers in his hands. They looked exactly like those he was wearing right now, the only difference was that the new trousers were dry and did not smell of chlorophyll. Did chlorophyll smell at all? And if it did not, then what was that green, planty smell that had succesfully embedded itself in his clothes?  
>Shikamaru changed, did not know where to put his wet clothes, and decided to go and look for Ino to ask her. He found her in the livingroom, where she was sitting on the sofa and crying.<br>She did not notice him at first, and Shikamaru did not do anything to draw her attention towards him. He just stood in the doorway, the clothes in his hands dripping with chlorophylled water.  
>„Why are you crying?", he asked after a while.<br>„I'm not", Ino lied. She motioned him to sit down next to her and, wet clothes still in his hands, Shikamaru followed her invitation. Ino forced herself to smile (he always knew when she forced it, her eyes looked weird when she did) and placed them away on the coffee-table, before she wrapped her arms around Shikamaru and pulled him so close to her that, for a second he wondered if she might have forgotten that he too still had to breath.  
>„We're all that's left", she whispered, while her fingers dug into Shikamaru's arms. At this remark he felt a sense of guilt.<br>„Because I scared Choji away, that is", he said very quietly. He felt Ino's chest swell as she drew in breath.  
>„It wasn't your fault", she said and sounded almost as if she herself believed it.<br>„Your talking at me as if I'm child again.", Shikamaru replied „How can it not be my fault, when I scared him away?"

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Frank Black<em>


	24. Alone Down There

**Alone Down There**

Sakura had expected to find her flat empty, to find no one and nothing waiting, except for her shower, and after that her bed, where she wanted to curl up and forget everything she had learned today; but her flat was not empty. She did not notice this untill she had pulled her sandals off of her feet, and – as getting back up seemed far too much of an efford at this moment – dropped down in her doorway, where she then sat, her face buried in her hands.  
>She heard footsteps coming from the kitchen, and shortly afterwards saw the light change through the slits between her fingers as someone knelt down infront of her.<br>„Is something wrong?", Kiba asked.  
>Sakura shook her head. No, there was nothing wrong, she wanted to say, but the words did not come out. She allowed Kiba to help her up and tried to smile.<br>„Did you really wait for me to come home?", she managed to sound almost amused.  
>„I bought some food, too", Kiba replied, showing his teeth as he grinned.<br>For one second Sakura felt as if maybe she really could forget, could pretent that everything was alright and just have breakfast with her – it still felt strange and new to think that word – boyfriend. Then everything around her started to spin and the next second she was stumbling to the bathroom.  
>She should have sent Kiba away immediatly, she thought, while staring at the remains of last night's dinner swimming infront of her, he should not have to see her like that. She wanted to tell him to leave, but before she had had the chance to say anything at all he was already by her side, one hand warm and comforting against her back, the other one carefully holding back her hair.<br>„Do you need a doctor?", he asked, once Sakura felt safe leaving the bathroom and had allowed him, albeit reluctantly, to carry her to her bed. She smiled weakly and shook her head.  
>„No, a glass of water will do."<p>

„Do you want to tell me what happened?", he would ask later, when she lay in his arms and cried silently and with the greatest effort not to have him notice.  
>„I can't", Sakura whispered.<br>„'d you rather be alone?"  
>For a brief second Sakura considered saying yes, she would prefer to be on her own for now. But then instead she pulled Kibas arm closer around her. She closed her eyes and let his hands sooth her. There was nothing sexual about the way he touched her at that moment. Every touch was meant to comfort, to calm her. Nothing else. And slowly Sakura did calm down, drifted into a state of half-sleep where the recurring memories of this morning seemed more distant and not like her own at all.<p>

There it was a different Sakura who stood in the Hokage's study, it was a different Kakashi who explained to her how to kill him, disintegrate him, with nothing but a few hand seals. A different Kakashi who explained it with such ease as if he was teaching her the basics of chakra-control again, who seemed so utterly oblivious of how hard it was for her to keep her hands from trembling, to keep her voice steady, to maintain the eagerly attentive face of a good student.  
>It had been a different Kakashi who, once he felt confident that she would now know what to do, had given her the most carefree smile in the world, who said: „My life is in your hands", as if it was not, and then, before Sakura had thought of anything to reply, changed the subject and asked how things had been in Sunagakure, and how she and Kiba had gotten along. It had been a different Kakashi, who then sent her away, told her to meet him later in his office, with not so much as a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Modest Mouse.<em>


	25. From Your Favourite Sky

**From Your Favourite Sky**

Kakashi watched from his window as Sakura walked away, her hands clenched in fists, her pace faster than usual. Maybe he should at least have said something? Something to comfort her, to apologise. Or, if words failed, just one simple gesture of compassion would have done, one hand on her shoulder, or – but Kakashi doubted that any further emotional involvement would make things any easier for Sakura. Or him.  
>He picked up the scrap of paper that lay on his desk, looked at the rows and collums of numbers. By now he had come the conclusion that, while it had been him who wrote this message, it must have been Madara who had added the encryption. It explained why Kakashi could not remember writing the note, and also why he was unable to decode it. Had he encrypted the message himself, he should easily be able to figure it out – all he'd have to do was think like himself, but as this did not work it seemed reasonable that it had been Madara, half in control of him, who had - for some reason - not wanted him to write down whatever he, that is Kakashi, had been about to record. With any luck that piece of paper would tell him, how to break his current connection with limbo permanently.<br>His eye drifted back to the window, back to Konoha's streets, where Sakura's pink hair was no longer to be seen. She probably had Kiba waitingfor her, somewhere... Kakashi shook his head.  
>He had chosen Kiba to accompany Sakura to the sand percicely for that reason – because he had believed that those two would be able understand, to comfort each other with their mutual losses. Yet it had greatly surprised him, that Sakura wore Kiba's smell so dominantly this morning, that her own sweet and powedry scent was almost beyond dedectable.<br>His little idea had worked out way better, and faster, than he had expected it to. Which was a good thing, Kakashi reminded himself. Sakura needed – no, Sakura deserved someone by her side, someone who did not need her to attempt suicide to justify the display of affection. Someone who could, without reservation-  
>Much to Kakashi's relief there his thoughts got interrupted by a knock at the door and in came Sai, who politely nodded his head, before he told Kakashi that everyone was waiting for him.<br>Kakashi was about to ask why and who, when he remembered. He had called a meeting for today, to discuss the disappearance of Uzuki Yugao, and what measures were to be taken in reaction to it.  
>„Your apparent lack of interest in the village's administration seems to have the council doubt your suitability for your current position", Sai helpfully pointed out, as they were making their way to the meeting.<br>Kakashi nodded. These news didn't really surprise him. The only surprising thing about them was, that it had really taken the elders over a year to come to this conclusion. Far more surprising was, that Sai did not seem to find the presense of Kakashi' eight ninken, who casually trailed behind them, in any way suspicious.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: I am Kloot <em>

_Go on, listen to the song!  
><em>


	26. Untouchable Face

**Untouchable Face**

One uneventfull month passed. No headaches, no memory gaps, and while security within Konohagakure was tightened, while the ANBU were still busy trying to solve the mistery of Yugao's disappearance, Sakura resigned from her work at hospital and once again served as the Hokage's personal assistant. There was no need to justify this. It had been shorty after she had returned her duties as a medic that things within the Hokage's office had gotten chaotic.  
>Explaining why Kakashi suddenly insisted upon keeping at least four of his ninken around all the time was another matter, but here Yugao's disappearance as well as the failed assasination of the Kazekage provided the necessary reason. For, as long as it remained unclear who was behind either attacks, it was no surprise that Kakashi prefered to have his own guards, whom he could trust without doubt.<p>

It was late in the evening. All of today's missions had been assigned, all client's requests filed and ranked. Sakura was browsing through the last stack of mission-reports concerning the ANBU's investigation.  
>„Not long, and they'll make some finds up", she said after she had finished reading the third report of missing traces and non-existent leads.<br>„Can't you just call the investigation off?"  
>Sakura shut the file and looked up at Kakashi, who sat slouched over his desk, his head nested between his crossed arms, and appeared to be very much asleep. Sakura couldn't help but feel annoyed by this. Even if averting Yugao's disappearance from causing any conflict with one of the other hidden villages took up most of his days, Sakura didn't see why he had to spent every single night trying to break the encryption of the message he had left for himself. Every second night would bring the exact same result – that is, none at all.<br>She exchanged a short look with Pakkun, which assured her that the pug was of the exact same oppinion as she, then walked over to Kakashi and very catiously – the last time she had tried to wake him he almost broke her arm – placed one hand on his shoulder.  
>„Kakash-sensei?"<br>A faint shrug.  
>Sakura held her breath. Tsunade-sama had at least had posessed the decency, however hung over she was, not to attack the one who woke her; Or at least she had waited with her attack untill she was fully awake and aware of her surroundings.<br>„Hey, it's pretty late. I think we should leave."  
>Kakashi raised his head ever so slightly and looked at Sakura with one half closed eye. His left hand wandered up to his right shoulder, where Sakura's own hand was still resting, and took hold of her wrist, while he mumbled something and then hid his face once more between his arms, pulling Sakura's hand down with him, until it was awkwardly stuck between his right shoulder and his head.<br>Sakura was still trying to pull free, carefull not to unintentionally trigger any leathal reflexes, when she saw Pakkun's small form vanish beneath the desk.  
>Kakashi awoke with a start, the second he let go of her wrist Sakura backed away, but Kakashi just looked around disorientated, tilted his head to see under his desk – where no dog was to be seen – then turned to Sakura, who stood with her back pressed against the window.<br>„Why's it dark already?", he noted.  
>„It usually is at half past ten", Sakura replied, her voice as polite and neutral as she found sufficient for the given situation.<br>„And why didn't you wake me earlier?"  
>Sakura considered to explain why waking him, once he had surpassed the second stage of sleep, was really nothing she'd do if it could be avoided, but then decided otherwise.<br>„You looked like you needed the sleep", she said.  
>„Hm", made Kakashi. He was already by the door.<br>„Where's Pakkun?", he then asked, and this time Sakura could not but reply that Pakkun probably had disappeared in order to avoid being kicked to death.

Infront of the Academy's gate Kakashi stopped and looked around.  
>„Doesn't your boyfriend usually wait here?", he asked.<br>„Since when did you care about my personal life?", Sakura snapped back, then quickly added a half mumbled apology.  
>„He's on some familything...", she explained „I didn't really want to know the details"<br>„Hm", Kakashi shrugged.  
>„I'll see you tomorrow", and he turned to leave. Sakura hesitated for a second, then hurried after him.<br>„We need to talk", she said, once she was again walking by his side. She waited for Kakashi to tell her, that he did not see what for, or to just ask her to talk about it here on the street, but of course he did not, of course he immediatly understood what it was that Sakura wanted to discuss, which made her all the more angry. If he knew that she was not happy with the way they, or rather he, handled the situation at hand, then why didn't he just change something about it?

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Ani DiFranco.<em>


	27. On My Shoulder

**On My Shoulder**

Much to Sakura's frustration, walking with Kakashi calmed her down and washed away the anger that should have allowed her to speak up bluntly, to stand up and actually lecture him – her former teacher, the current Hokage. But by the time they arrived at his residence and he led her to some room, which looked as if it was meant to discuss important matters with important guests, by the time he took his seat opposite of her and looked at her expectantly, Sakura didn't know where or how to begin anymore. The opening-line she had thought up, minutes ago, seemed unfitting in the calm and orderly setting, but if she kept quiet much longer Sakura feared that Kakashi would simply send her away.  
>„I'm sick of", she began hesitantly. It really didn't work with the lacking level of irritation.<br>„I'm sick of you acting as if this", Sakura gestured helplessly in Kakashi's direction „was your problem alone. Because it's not. The moment you asked me to – you asked me to help, you made it my problem as well. And if things go wrong, it'll be everybody's problem."  
>She paused momentarily, looked at Kakashi, but if there was so much as a hint of any reaction in his face it was too thoroughly masked for Sakura to notice.<br>„We're in this together. But I can't, I can't do this, if you don't let me in.. on things.  
>„You obviously don't get anywhere locking yourself in your study every night – do you really think I'm so useless that I can't help you, or are you just too damn proud to ask?"<br>Sakura heard Kakashi breath in as if he wanted to say something, but she cut him off.  
>„And don't – don't tell me anything about, how you're trying to protect me. Because you can't. And I don't want – I don't need your protection. I'm not your student anymore. Either we see this through as a team, or you'll have to find someone else to be your ripcord!"<p>

Kakashi sat and listened. He watched as Sakura – at some point – got up and started pacing around, filling the gaps in her speach with the sound of her footsteps. She let her hair grow, Kakashi thought, and he wondered why he did notice this now of all times, and why it bothered him.  
>„I can't do this, if you don't let me in.."<br>Sakura had kept her hair short ever since the chunin-exam six years ago, but now it was getting closer to its original length, giving her an unsettling resemblance to the annoyngly girlish teenager she had once been.  
>„– do you really think I'm so useless that I can't help you, or are you just too damn proud to ask?"<br>Her hair contradicted her behaviour, Kakashi satisfied himself. His resentment had nothing to do with his suspicion that Sakura's newly attained lenght in hair was somehow connected to her newly attained boyfriend.  
>„I'm not your student anymore", the words got entangled somewhere in strands of pink, where they struggled, like flies caught in a spiderweb – and like flies caught in a spiderweb they buzzed frantically, as they tried to get free and evaporate into thin air, as words should once they are spoken.<br>„So?", Sakura sat on the bench next to Kakashi. Far enough away for them not to touch, while still close enough to feel each other's presence. Not close enough for one to sense the other to tense or his breathe to temporarily stop, Kakashi hoped.

By now Sakura's anger had not just calmed but cooled down. Kakashi did get her point she gathered from the way his gaze altered between his knees and her own pacing form. She had not even noticed getting up.  
>„So?", she asked as she slumped down on the bench next to Kakashi.<br>„You know, teamwork isn't just a tactic for the battlefield, right?"  
>Their eyes met, and Sakura couldn't help but smile widely at his sleep-deprived, confused, utterly helpless expression. Without thinking about it she wrapped her arms around him, ignored his initial attempt to back away from her but instead pulled him closer, rested her forehead against his shoulder, her hands against his back, where they started to move on their own.<br>Eventally Kakashi placed his arms around her in turn, allowed his head to follow his nose which – quite despite his own rationalised will – had wanted nothing but to burry itself in Sakura's hair since the second she sat down next to him.  
>Today, this Kakashi had already noticed when they were still in his office and keeping a safe distance, today Sakura did not smell of her boyfriend, today she smelled of nothing but herself. Which was considerably harder to ignore.<br>Kakashi had once considered to buy her some perfume, something to cover the powdery, sweet and salty scent of her sweat, that hint of vanilla, honey and soap, something that he could without any effort feel indifferent about, but not only was he sure that such a gift would give the very wrong impression, he also knew that Sakura was, apart from a short period of olfactory confusion during her early teenager years, not the kind of girl, of woman, to wear perfume.  
>He closed his eyes, felt her breathe's warmth accumulate as it got caught in his shirt's fabric, felt his shoulders relax, and – if only for a few seconds – forgot that there was a world around them, forgot about his responsibilities, forgot about his mindworm or Sakura's boyfriend.<br>The moment of comfortable oblivion did not last long. It was ended by a flash of pain behind his left eye, which forced his grasp on Sakura to tighten.  
>„What's wrong?", Sakura leant back to look at Kakashi, who had already let go of her, and covered his covered up face with his hands.<br>„It's... happening, right?", Sakura bit her lip, her eyes unintentionally wandered to the door, behind which Bull, Urushi and Shiba were waiting, outside – to give the two humans some privacy.  
>Kakashi nodded, then he got up shoved Sakura out of the room.<br>„I'm not leaving!", Sakura protested, when she was already with both feet in the hallway.  
>„Yes, you -", Kakashi's voice broke, as another headache washed over him, made him lose his feet and stumble right into Sakura, who somehow managed to keep them both from hitting the floor.<br>„Kakashi!", she tried to force him to look at her, but his visible eye was squeezed shut.  
>„Plea-se leave", he managed to say, between gasps of pain, „I can't – you –"<br>„I'm not leaving, Kakaashi. Listen to me", Sakura kneeled infront of his slumped figure.  
>„Try to focus, please. Look at... no, focus on my voice, yes?"<br>„Go! Please", Kakashi whimpered. Sakura wasn't sure anymore if he was adressing her or the pain in his head. And then he was still.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Do<em>


	28. Believe It Or Not

**Believe It Or Not**

Sakura exchanged anxious looks with the three ninken, who cautiously came closer, sniffing Kakashi, as if – should he not wake up as himself – his smell would give him away. They knew it wouldn't, Pakkun had told them, but instinct demanded to examine any change of circumstances with their noses first.  
>Maybe he only had passed out, Sakura thought, in which case she shouldn't get away from him, but rather see if there was anything she could do to help. However, if he was not Kakashi right now, she really shouldn't be anywhere near him, but rather somewhere out of sight, where she could come up with a plan.<br>It was the medic inside her, who made the decission, who made her stay where she was – kneeling infront of Kakashi, made her feel for his pulse, which was calm and steady. It was the medic inside her, who raised her fingers to his face, when suddenly his hand caught hold of her wrist, and his visible eye sprung open.  
>Sakura let out a shriek, she wanted to back away, but she felt positively paralysed with fear.<br>Kakashi blinked at her, the expression of dire confusion in his eye. Not, however, Kakashi's own confusion, which never so much tried to communicate „I am confused!", but only showed if the present situation was too confusing to not let it, albeit unintentionally, show.  
>The confusion in his eye right now was bright and showing and very communicative – it was pretty much screaming „Where am I and what is going on?", at Sakura. It also looked very familiar to her, despite being completely and utterly out of place in Kakashi's masked face.<br>„Sakura-chan?", Kakashi blinked again, while his hand let go of her and instead wandered to his face and casually pushed back his forehead-protector, as if it was not at all on purpose covering half his face, but rather had just slipped down.  
>The second Sakura was free she jumped back, stood, her back pressed against the wood panneled wall, and stared as Kakashi slowly, and unsteadily, rose to his feet. He opened his eyes and looked at her.<br>„Woah!", he exclaimed (and Sakura noted that this expression sounded awfully wrong coming from Kakashi's mouth), and immediatly shut his eyes again.  
>He testingly opened his left eye, the Sharingan showing for a second, before he closed it again, opened his right eye, and with this looked at Sakura intently.<br>„Sakura-chan?", he repeated.  
>„Your not Kakashi!", Sakura screamed, her voice high pitched with panic. Not the best line to confront one's possible nemesis. But Kakashi just gave a nervous laugh.<br>„Heh, of course I'm not Kakashi-sensei, what are you...", his voice slowed down a little.  
>„Weren't you taller, Sakura-chan?"<br>And then a penny seemed to drop. Though it dropped very slowly, as if dropped into thick oil, or gelantine. Kakashi's hand rose to his face, his fingers tracing the rim of his mask, stopped at his left eye's scare, traced it up to his eyebrow.  
>He looked down at his own body, his own hands, felt his mask again, and lastly grasped one strand of grey hair, pulled it infront of his face and examined it carefully.<br>„I'm Kakashi-sensei!", Kakashi (who obviously was not Kakashi) noted, and before neither Sakura nore the three ninken had gotten past their mutual confusion (they all had imagined Madara to behave somewhat differently), stormed off to the next window which – due to the darkness outside – served very well as a mirror.  
>Kakashi looked at his reflection and then, without the slightest bit of reluctance or respect, pulled down his mask.<br>„Uhm...", Sakura watched helplessly, as Kakashi-who-wasn't-Kakashi studied his unmasked face from each and every angle possilbe.  
>„Really, why does he wear this thing? There's nothing worth hiding! There's nothing that's even a tiny bit remarkable, dattebayo!"<br>„Na..."  
>Kakashi-who-wasn't-Kakashi turned, his foreheadprotector pulled back down to cover the Sharingan, his mask still in folds under his chin.<br>„Right", he grinned apologetically and scratched the back of his head „you wouldn't know that it's me."

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Stephen Geyer (who apparently wrote the lyrics)<em>

_Just because, things weren't confusing enough yet!  
>Now... if you have come this far, you probably have noticed that I am not generally prone to that certain dash of comedy.<br>The truth is, I usually avoid writing comic scenes, because they scare me to death! Even though I know they are quite fun to write (as was this little chapter). I'm never sure, if they actually work... And there's one more Naruto-Kakashi-Chapter to come! O.o  
><em>I hope I didn't scare anyone away with this.<em>  
>I can't even begin to name all the things that are wrong with having Naruto in control of Kakashi's body. (Though I'd probably start the list with this exact sentence)<em>

Uhm... A...nyway. Please let me know what you think! I'd very much appreciate it.


	29. Everything's Not Lost

**Everything's Not Lost**

Sakura had not the slightest idea what to think or feel. For a long time she had wished for nothing more than to get one last chance to talk to Naruto – try as she might, she could not remember the last time she had seen him before the chaos of war had consumed them both. But watching his, Naruto's, facial expressions invade Kakashi's unfamiliarly unmasked face, hearing him talk with Kakashi's voice but in his own loud, fast paced tone, seemed surreal.  
>Naruto did not know how he had come to possess his former teacher. One minute, he explained, he had been in limbo, the next he woke up here.<br>„So, you're not really dead?", Sakura asked reluctantly. She did not really want to know, couldn't say what she wanted to hear.  
>Naruto-Kakashi shrugged.<br>„Dunno", he stretched and yawned and Sakura had to look away, too overwhelmed by the weirdness of having Naruto's mannersisms posed upon Kakashi's physical form.  
>„Hey, Sakura-chan, you think Ichiraku's still open?"<br>At this remark Sakura's eyes widened in shock. She quickly shook her head, relieved that she did not even have to lie. By now it was way past midnight.  
>„Shame..."<br>„Say, in... limbo... are you alone?"  
>„Hm? Nah, not really. Just in bad company", he grinned and turned his gaze back to the village.<br>They were sitting on the Hokage's Residence's roof, from where they had a clear view on the rebuilt streets and houses, and also the top of the Monument, which – Sakura was sort of gratefull – Naruto had not yet spotted, or at least not yet recognised as an image of himself.  
>„Are you with", she hesitated, the name suddenly seemed like a dark and forbidden incantation „with Madara?"<br>„Hm", Naruto gave a half-nod, then turned his eye to Sakura and let his unmistakable, wide and optimistic smile spread over Kakashi's face, where it looked oddly out of place.  
>„Hey, know what? I'm gonna find a way back here! For real and as myself, dattebayo!"<br>Sakura blinked back her tears and returned his smile. She had completely forgotten how impossible it was to lose hope in Naruto's presence.  
>„What about Sasuke?", she asked, hesitantly. There was something in the air that told her, she should not ask. The fact that Naruto had not so much as mentioned him, for one thing. And her suspicion was only confirmed when Naruto in reply said nothing, but shifted his weight uncomfortably, scratched his head, gave a faint laugh and then quickly changed the subject.<br>„Tell me what happened here!", he demanded, and Sakura knew that repeating her question wouldn't get her any answers. And so she told him, told him how the war ended, how many of their former friends and comrades had died. She felt his arm placed around her shoulders while she was talking. She told him how Kakashi was assigned Hokage, and how she had become his assistant, told him about Shikamaru, and how his sight, his behaviour, had unsettled Choji enough to make him run away and abandone the village. She told him about the Alliance of the Five Elements, and of how many shinobi and kunoichi still believed that peace was the end of their profession. She did not tell him about her suicide-attempt, nor could she bring herself to mention Kiba in any way.  
>She wanted to tell him about Madara's attempt to return, but could not find the right words to begin and describe what had happened. She just came to think that maybe she should instead ask Naruto about what life (or existance) in limbo was like, and if he had noticed Madara doing anything out of the ordinary lately, had just begun to form the perfect question that would make Naruto give her the insight she needed, when she felt his head, which he had for some time now rested against her shoulder, sink and with a light thud land in her lap – either asleep or unconcious, Sakura could not tell.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Coldplay<em>

_Dearest readers! Without any intention to sound importunate; If there is anyone among you who likes to draw - I dare you to draw Kakashi possessed by Naruto!_


	30. Pictures Of You

**Pictures Of You**

The first time Kakashi awoke it was from someone, or something, touching his face. And while his initial impuls was to fend whatever it was off, he not quite decided but simply desisted from doing so. He felt surprisngly save where he was right now, even though he wasn't quite sure where exactly that was. Partly encouraged by this feeling of safety, partly because of the leaden exhaustion he had not been fully aware of before, he allowed himself to drift back to sleep.  
>The second time he awoke it was from a light drizzle of rain. He reached for his sleepingbag, to pull it up and over his face, but found nothing, than felt what he had took for his pillow move, and a hand that catiously touched his shoulder.<br>„Kakashi?", a voice somewhere above him whispered.  
>He forced his eye open and looked up, to find Sakura's face bent over his, looking tired and concerend in the pale light of an early morning's sun.<p>

In a split second Kakashi was up and standing next to Sakura. He looked around, at the streets below them, where the first villages were just about to start their days, then back to Sakura, scanning her for any sign of injury.  
>„I'm fine", Sakura gave him a reasuring smile, and tried to get to her own feet. Her legs felt numb and dead and not at all capable of carrying her own weight, and after a moment she resigned from getting up and instead just sat back on her behind and stretched and massaged her legs in an attempt to make them come back alive.<br>Kakashi gave her a doubting look and, his voice still sleepy, asked what had happened.  
>Sakura hesitated, she bit her lip, closed her eyes for an instanced and yawned, then accepted the hand he offered her to pull herself up, held on to it, uncertain whether she was already fully able to stand on her own.<br>„You wanted to get some fresh air", she said and watched the unmasked bit of Kakashi's face carefully for any reaction. She generally considered herself a good liar. But of course, there were those people who she knew could see through her any time. Her mother was one of them, and Naruto, and – even though Kakashi had never made the effort to point any of her lies out to her – she knew he was one of them as well.  
>„And then you just fell asleep", it wasn't a completely unreasonable thing to claim, given the number of times she had had to wake him during their working days in the past few weeks.<br>Kakashi eyed her intently, no doubt trying to figure out what it was that she kept from him, but said nothing.  
>„I dismissed the ninken", Sakura then, and truthfully, added, as she noticed him noticing the dogs' absence.<br>„Why would you?"  
>„They wont be of any help, if they don't get a chance to rest, right?"<br>Kakashi shook his head, obviously unwilling to admit that she had a point, and also, Sakura noted, with a hint of of disbelieve.  
>„They did as you told them?", he asked.<br>Sakura nodded, unable to prevent the hint of a triumphant smile spreading around her lips. True, it had taken her an awful lot of time to convince them that there was no threat at all in Kakashi being possessed by Naruto, but that, she decided, Kakashi did not need to know.  
>She shivered, the rain was getting heavier, and followed Kakashi back inside, followed him – as he did not tell her to do otherwise – untill they entered what she recognised to be his bedroom.<br>Kakashi looked at the alarmclock standing next to his bed.  
>„There are still four hours left till we've got to get to work", he noted, then turned to Sakura.<br>„You wanna get some sleep?"  
>„I...", Sakura's eyes unintentionally wandered to his bed, before she forced them back to Kakashi, who – as far as she could tell through his mask – blushed every so slightly.<br>„I do have guestrooms, you know", he quickly added, turned and went through a door, which apparently led to a walk-in closet, as Kakashi, upon entering, asked her if she wanted something dry to sleep in.  
>Sakura nodded, then realised that he wouldn't see her, and thus voiced her affirmation. She wondered what on earth Kakashi of all people needed a dressing room for.<br>She turned her attention to the windowsill, where two photos were standing. One of them she knew well, it was the same one that decorated her own bedsidetable. The other one she had never seen before. Carefully she picked it up, looked at the fourth Hokage's smiling face, at Kakashi's young self, suprised by how much the look in his eyes reminded her of Sasuke, back in the old days.  
>The other two teammembers she did not recognise. They must be dead, she thought, and suddenly realised that Kakashi had never, not before the war nore afterwards, when their relationship had somehow managed to move from teacher-student to something resembling friendship, so much as mentioned them, or anything about his past for that matter, to her.<br>She put the photograph back, feeling slightly intrusive, and instead looked at her own former team. Images from her nightly conversation with Naruto flashed back infront of her eyes, and brought fresh tears with them.  
>„Here"<br>She tore her eyes from the picture and to the black piece of fabric Kakashi held out to her.  
>„Thanks", she mumbled, took the shirt without looking up and followed him as he led the way to her designated guestroom, where she then stood in the door way, waiting for Kakashi to say good night and leave, her eyes still fixed on his shirt in her hands, her frontteeth dug into her lip to bite back the tears.<br>Kakashi did not move, she could hear him breathing though, could see his feet, and feel his presence, slightly closer than appropriate. And then she couldn't keep it in any longer. She forced herself to look up, look in his face, and posed the one question that had brewed in her mind, ever since Naruto had left Kakashi's body.  
>„What if there is a way to get Naruto back?"<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Cure<em>


	31. Sleep Alone

**Sleep Alone**

By the time Sakura was done recounting the night's events, the sun had fully risen over the horizon, and the streets of Konohagakure slowly came back to life. Kakashi stood with his back to her, his eye fixed on the rain still pouring outside. He could hear Sakura crying, could hear her unsurpressed sobs and whimpers, as if she wanted to make him look at her.  
>„It <em>was<em> him!", she repeated. Her voice sounded like that of a child.  
>„You weren't there! It.. it...", more sobbing „felt like Naruto."<br>Kakashi kept looking at the village, teeth clenched. Part of him hated Sakura for crying like this, another part of him hated her crying, and one last part hated himself. For making her cry, but also, because he couldn't bring himself to leave her alone, to allow her to calm down. There obviously was no point discussing what had happened right now.  
>„Don't you think I'd recognise my – my best friend!"<br>And then: „If you're just going to ignore me, why don't you just leave me alone?", a crash signaled Sakura's fist had at last hit something, be it the floor or the wall.  
>Finally Kakashi turned. The floor infront of Sakura's bed now sported a hole, as if someone had dropped a canonball there, while Sakura herself had curled up on her matress, arms covering her head, knees tucked up to her chin, and was once more crying. Silently, though. It was nothing but the her shoulder's shaking that gave her away.<br>Looking at her like this was worse than hearing her cry, and for a second Kakashi forgot to be angry at her naivity, wanted nothing more than to tell her that everything was going to be alright. But he couldn't.  
>He knelt down next to her and placed one hand on her shoulder, or rather, would have placed it there had Sakura not shrugged it off, in the most aggressive way one can shrug, and hissed at him to not touch her.<br>„Even if it truely was Naruto", he expressed carefully „and I am willing to believe that it was-"  
>Out of the corner of his eye Kakashi saw Sakura relax a little, saw her arms move, so that they no longer covered her ears.<br>„You know it was Madara who sent him here."  
>Sakura didn't say anything, she just stared at the wall and away from Kakashi. Of course she knew. Knowing that Naruto was trapped in the same intredimesion as Madara was the one and only thing that would keep her from attempting to seal any connection to said dimension off. It was the one and only thing that could tempt her to actually try and open a door to another dimension herself.<br>It had been exactly this knowledge that had kept her from telling Kakashi in the first place. She had wanted to keep her hope as untainted as her self-delusion would allow her, if only for one day, had not wanted the preciousness of the night to be spoiled by Kakashi pointing out that it was a trap so soon. She had not wanted to stare the dilemma in the eye that now faced her. Faced them, she reminded herself, but found little comfort in this.  
>She rolled to her back and looked at Kakashi, her vision still blurry from tears.<br>„So, what are we going to do?", she breathed. She did not want to hear his answer.  
>Kakashi remained silent for a while, then hmmed, removed his forehadprotector and lay down next to Sakura, carefully pulling the blankett up from underneath their bodies.<br>„First", he said „we should try and get some sleep."

He had expected them both to be far too exhausted, far too overwhelmed by recent developements to even notice that they were sharing bed and blankett, and maybe Sakura was, or maybe she did not give this setting too much importance anyway. It didn't take long and she was fast asleep.  
>Kakashi, on the other hand, lay awake long enough to watch the clock's little hand wander from six to seven, to eight, quite unsure what to do with his own two hands, and barely able to keep his breath steady when Sakura in her sleep rolled over and, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, cuddled up against him.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Bat for Lashes<em>


	32. Love And Communication

**Love And Communication  
><strong>

Surprisingly enough Kakashi and Sakura managed to show up at the academy more or less punctually. More or less being late by Sakura's standarts, but pretty much on time for Kakashi. As they arrived Sakura jokingly remarked that those who already liked to gossip about her very young and very female nature as the Hokage's assistant would probably squeal with glee at the sight of both of them arriving together and a little too late. Kakashi did not seem to see anything funny in this.  
>The day turned out to be a busy one, giving them no chance to talk. On the few occasions that they actually were alone in the office (or as alone as one can be, in a room crowded with four dogs), Sakura could not get past the impression that Kakashi was ignoring her purposefully.<br>She felt too tired to try and get his attention, and she wasn't in the mood to start yet another fight.  
>At something past five Kakashi snapped the file he had just been reading shut, placed it on the stack that was to be archived, and got up.<br>„I'm going" , he informed Sakura, his hand already on the doorhandle.  
>„But-", Sakura began to protest.<br>„We'll talk later."  
>„Are you still mad at me?"<br>„What for?"  
>„Being a naive, idiot child", Sakura suggested. She could see Kakashi's brow furrow.<br>„I never said that", he said.  
>„No, but you meant it."<br>Kakashi sighed. He made one halfhearted step towards Sakura, stopped, for a second his eye lingered on her – Sakura couldn't rid herself of the feeling that she had done something wrong – then he shook his head.  
>„I just need some time on my own. We'll talk later."<br>„Hm", Sakura nodded. „I'll be at your place around ten?", she timidly asked.  
>Kakashi shrugged his agreement, was already half out the door, when Sakura called after him what she should do about the paperwork he had left behind. Kakashi gallantly ignored her.<br>„Great!", Sakura huffed. She considered calling it a day as well – it wasn't her problem, if Kakashi decided to just wander off. No, she corrected herself, it _was_ her problem, as officially it was her job to clean up after him. It was easy to forget, as he generally did not leave a lot behind to clean up. Actually, she thought, she should be gratefull that she had ended up being his personal assistant and not that of Tsunade.  
>And then she remembered something. She couldn't see Kakashi tonight. Tonight she had agreed to let Kiba formally introduce her to his family. It wasn't that she was particularly keen on getting sniffed at by the rest of the Inuzuka-Clan (she somehow doubted that in this case the sniffing would be metaphorical only), but twice she had already backed out of a planned family-meeting. To make matters worse, shortly before Kiba left with his sister for their camping-trip, he and Sakura had a run in with her own mother, and before giving it another thought had invited her along.<br>They were going out for a month – Sakura tried to force her attention back to her paperwork – there was no need to act, as if they were about to get married! A brief image of her sitting in a kitchen, surrounded by an odd number of loud and wild and hyperactive children and ninken, rose infront of her eyes. Sakura groaned. Should she ever start a new life somewhere, it definitly would be some place where dogs were prohibited.

She finished work at half past eight, left the office and went home to take a shower. She wondered if she should dress up a little, prayed that her mother would not make any attempt to assimilate to the „weird ninja fashion", and eventually settled for a red dress that looked a little less casual than her usual clothes, while still allowing her to move freely.  
>She undid and replaced her foreheadprotector several times, before she decided to leave her hair open tonight, then picked up the eyeliner she had not used for – weeks? Months? Sakura wasn't sure. She didn't really feel like wearing make up that often anymore, didn't feel much like it today, but had to do something to cover up the shadows under her eyes.<br>She had just finished painting her lips with a descreet red („It matches your hair perfectly!", Ino had exclaimed years ago and insisted that Sakura would buy the lipstick), when she heard her window creek.  
>She stepped out of her bathroom to find Kiba standing in her room.<br>„Can't you use the door, like a normal person?", she greeted him.  
>„You really shouldn't leave your window open like that", he contered „This place is crawling with ninjas!", then pulled her close to him and did an admirable job in ruining thefreshly applied lispstick.<br>„You ready to go?", he asked somewhere between kisses.  
>„I was", she replied mildly annoyed, then laughed at the smudges of pink in his face.<p>

„This is going to be awkward", she later sighed, while they waited at her mother's door for her to join them. What had she be thinking? To introduce her thoroughly ordinary, maybe even a little boring mother to Kiba's family was absurd! Still, this wasn't Sakura's biggest worry. The whole way from her mother's home to that of Kiba's family she was trying to come up with a convenient excuse to get away, while Kiba with astonishing ease made conversation with her mother.  
>Dinner was sat for nine, Sakura reckoned, so, if only she came up with a good reaon to leave, she might be able to make it to Kakashi's at around eleven. Which was fair enough – she had never said she'd be there at ten precisely, and even if she had – Kakashi was the one person, she felt absolutly justified to keep waiting.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title borrowed from: Cat Power<br>_

_(If you, by any chance saw the chapter before I changed this. I had completely forgotten, that I had already chosen this song for the title, when borrowed from Nick Cave)  
><em>


	33. Because The Night

**Because The Night**

Summer was coming to an end. Or at least it had cooled down after the rain had stopped. Kakashi didn't mind so much, on the contrary, he was grateful for the cold wind that blew over the verandah infront of his study, where he sat, legs crossed, Icha Icha laying open infront of him. The dim light that leaked through the windows was just about enough to read by, but for some time now the book had remained untouched, except for the wind which now and again turned a few pages.  
>Kakashi had his eye closed, trying his best to focus on nothing, but thoughts and images kept showing up persistantly, lingered till a gust of cold air would grap them and sweep them away again.<br>He did not expect Sakura to show up any more, he had known her long enough to know that it wasn't like her to keep others waiting, not for four full hours anyway; And this worried him a little (not showing up at all was far less like her than being late), for the most part though he felt relieve. All the walls and barriers he had so carefully surrounded himself with over the years, the fine web of restrain and selfcontrol, had already taken enough damage as it was; The prospect of seeing Sakura, possibly spending the whole day locked up in a room with her tomorrow, was as terrifying as it was desirable.  
>There was a noise, nine o'clock, north west, but before Kakashi had so much as considered to see what had caused it, Shiba and Bisuke had already run off to check. Kakashi watched the two dogs disappear into darkness and shortly afterwards return, accompanied by a flash of pink hair.<br>„You're late", Kakashi remarked when Sakura came to a stop, a few steps infront of him. She wasn't wearing any shoes, he noted, and her hair hung open and partially knotted around her face.  
>„Sorry", she gave him a crooked smile „I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life", and then, while she scrambled up the verandah added:<br>„Who would have thought - Tsume and my mum made best friends in-instantly!", she rolled her eyes „Single-mothers.. Really, there was no way I could have gotten away. And then Ki-", she stopped, tilted her head and squinted at Kakashi.  
>„Sorry, I know, you're not interested. There are after all", she paused, gestured with her hands to underline the gravity of what she was going to say next „After all more important matters at hand."<br>„And you're drunk", Kakashi concluded his observation.  
>„I'd very much prefer tipsy" Sakura grimaced. She leant back against the wall and ran her hands over her face, smudging the already smudged eyeliner.<p>

„What?", she stared at Kakashi's outstretched hand, for a second wondered when he had gotten up to his feet, then looked at his face, masked as always, but wearing a stern expression underneath.  
>„I'm taking you home."<br>„Wha-why?", Sakura crossed her arms. „We need", she stretched the word uneccessarily „to figure out what to do about Naruto. And Madara."  
>Kakashi said nothing.<br>„I'm sorry that I, unlike you, have personal relationships that I care about."  
>„Sakura", Kakashi knelt down infront of her. She smelt of alcohol and of her boyfriend, but underneath there was her own scent, sweet and salty and like something you'd want to drown in.<br>„I appreciate that you want to sort this out as soon as possible, but in you're current condition I am not willing to discuss these matters with you."  
>„Oh, come on, Kakash-sensei", Sakura grumbled „I just broke <em>out<em> of Kiba's place and _in_ to your garden! I can't be that -"  
>„I don't care", Kakashi cut her off.<br>„I'm taking you home."  
>But Sakura just shook her head vigorously.<br>„You don't know what I've been through to get here! You", she exclaimed louder than she had planned „are such a hypocrite! You're always late, don't give a damn about wasting everyone'ses precious time, and I let you wait once – once! – and you act as if it was, as if it was a cardinal crime!"  
>Kakashi blinked, unsure what to do with this accusation. He was about to point out to Sakura that she was missing his point entirely, but quickly decided otherwise. There most definitly was no use in arguing with her right now.<br>„You", Sakura held her breath, wrecking her mind for more proof of Kakashi's hypocracy, couldn't think of anything, when here eyes fell on the Icha Icha book that was lying unread and (unlike its contents) innocent beside her. She picked it up and waved it around like it was some kind of pamphlet.  
>„You read porn in public and don't even blush, yet you flinch if a woman so much as touches you!"<br>„I do not", Kakashi cursed himself the moment he opened his mouth.  
>Sakura reached one hand out, but the second her fingers were supposed to touch his thigh, Kakashi had already vanished into thin air. She halted, momentarily confused, then quickly turned her head as the book she was still holding in her hand was snatched away from her.<br>She watched Kakashi scuffle inside where he, she assumed, placed his treasured Icha Icha somewhere safe and far away from her hands, waited for him to return. As he did not come back for some time Sakura eventually rose to her own two bare feet, steadying herself against the wall.  
>„You realise", she heard Kakashi's voice beside her „that you're not thinking reasonable right now, don't you?"<br>She looked up at his face (when did he get here?), wanted to say something in return, but all the reasons that made her reasoning quite reasonable indeed had suddenly vanished away.  
>„I just", she said meekly „I just... Promise me, we'll find a way to save Naruto."<br>„I promise", Kakashi hoped he didn't sound as if he was just saying it to please her. Because he wasn't.  
>„We'll find a way to save Naruto, and defeat Madara once and for all."<br>Sakura seemed content with this. She took one unsteady step forward, stumbled into Kakashi who caught her expertly, but seemed in turn caught off guard when she gingerly wrapped her arms around him, pulling him a little closer than the average embrace would allow.  
>„Kakashi?", she whispered. Her lips brushed against his neck.<br>„You know, it's a good thing I found Kiba", she said. „Otherwise I'd lost my heart again to someone who doesn't seem to want it."

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Patti Smith<em>

_Emotional Rollercoaster Galore!  
>:D<em>


	34. The Hardest of Hearts

**The Hardest of Hearts  
><strong>

Kakashi was fully aware that he was taking advantage of Sakura's drunken state, even if he did so solely by not offering any resistance. He knew he should not have allowed her to get this close to him, should not have allowed her to clumsily pull down his mask, to push through another line of defence. Yet he could not bring himself to stop her, to push her away. He could feel her body brush against his as she rose to her tiptoes, and for a brief moment he was willing to accept that, in the end, his rationalised will was bound to succumb to his desires anyway, before he forced himself to pull back.  
>„Kakashi", Sakura whispered, her face inches from his, her eyes half closed, a smile on her parted lips that was enough to make him forget reason.<br>„I know what I want, and I know what I'm doing."  
>And before he had a chance to argue that he most certainly doubted that she knew what she was doing right now, she had silenced him with one fierce, maybe even a little aggressive, drunken kiss.<br>There was no reason to keep fighting, when the battle was already lost.

Entwined they stumbled into the next wall, Sakura could feel him pressing hard against her, while his hands gently, though with a remaining hint of restraint, finally came to touch her, explore her.  
>Had Sakura not been so bussy kissing and letting her own (less timid) hands wander, she would have found this quite amusing, and somewhere in the back of her head she came to the conclusion that in real life bad-assery did not necessarily go hand in hand with womanizing. It wasn't that Kakashi was totally awkward. It was just that he seemed to go about making out the same way he went about combat, and so far had not passed the stage of observing her.<br>Sakura leant back a little, her nose gently brushing against his. She opened her eyes – immediatly caught his.  
>„Stop analysing me", she laughed, but quickly changed her grin to a genuine smile when she noticed the faint expression of insecurity on his face. „It's not like you could lose here."<br>She bent forward to bring their lips together again, but Kakashi turned his head and instead looked past her, over her shoulder – where his ninken excellently failed at pretending to not be interested in what their human was up to.  
>„Don't move", he whispered in Sakura's ear.<br>Sakura nodded, she rested her head against his shoulder, closed her eyes once more. She felt his left hand flat between her shoulderblades, felt the cold wind breathing, and for the first time noticed that she was not at all dressed for this weather. And then, without any warning, the cold and the wind disappeared.

They were standing in his bedroom, Sakura realised as Kakashi carefully let go of her and walked over to the window. He took the photograph of his former team and placed it face down on the windowsill. After a second of consideration he did the same with the pictured showing Team Seven.  
>„Could you open the window?", Sakura asked in a feeble voice.<br>The sudden change in temperature had hit her with the force of an anvil dropped from the fifth floor. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the world around her to stop spinning, with little success.  
>The second she felt Kakashi's presence near her, she let herself fall. He caught her. He always did.<br>„Are you alright?"  
>Sakura shook her head.<br>„D'you need to throw up?", there was a hint of panic in his voice, which made it all the more loveable Sakura thought. She shook her head, pealed herself out of his arms and stumbled to his bed, where she lay flat on her stomach, face burried in his pillow.  
>She felt the mattress sway, as if it was a raft, and a light breeze coming from the open window brushing over her bare legs. From the corner of her eyes and in the pale light of the full moon she saw Kakashi leaving through the third door in his bedroom. One, she knew lead out to the hallway, the second to his – considering Kakashi's wardrobe quite useless – dressing room, the third – Sakura wasn't sure. She concluded that it had to be a bathroom, as Kakashi returned some time later, dressed in something that supposedly was meant to be pyjamas (though, it being all black, it hardly differt from his usual clothes), and with his hair wet.<br>„You know", Sakura whispered, as he crawled under his blanket next to her „You shouldn't go to bed with wet hair. It'll get all-", she stopped.  
>„All what?"<br>„Never mind", Sakura smiled, then curled up in his arms, and within seconds was fast asleep.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Florence and the Machine.<em>

_I guess I'm really not of much use when it comes to romance. ;)  
><em>


	35. Dead Things

**Dead Things  
><strong>

Despite unspeakable headaches and the persistant feeling that she was going to be sick (which remained just that, a nagging feeling), Sakura somehow had managed to slip out of Kakashi's room before he awoke, had found her way home, where she took an excessively long shower, stared at her mirror-reflection for some time, trying to figure out how she had ended up in his bed, before she got dressed. She vaguely remembered them kissing, but what ever followed after that had slipped away into blacked out oblivion.  
>At least, she tried to ease her conscience, they had both been dressed when she woke up. She knew this did not necessarily account for anything, but she had to pretend it did.<br>She very much wanted to crawl into her own bed, pull the blanket over her head and stay there forever, or at least untill both Kakashi and Kiba would forget that she so much as existed. Maybe then she would dare to meet either of them again.  
>However, her naturally strong sense of responisibilty and obligation kicked in rather quickly, and before she knew it, her feet carried her – not a minute behind schedule – to the academy-building, where she nodded her good-mornings to other chunin and jounin from the administrative, before, with a growing feeling of queasiness that was not due to her hangover, she pushed open the door to the Hokage's office.<br>She was greeted by a vacant room, left in the same not-quite-orderly state she had left it in the day before. It shouldn't have surprised her at all. There hadn't been a single day on which she had not spent at least two hours each morning with nothing but pacifying anyone who dropped by and still bothered to feel offended by the Hokage's lack of punctuality. Today, however, Sakura felt that it was her fault he wasn't there.  
>She slouched down behind her desk, waited for her body to assimilate to the slight change in gravitational force, before she forced herself to pull out one of the files she had left untouched yesterday.<br>Sakura stared at the document for a while, watched the dashes and lines that made up the characters sway in and out of focus. She turned a few pages without reading any of them, then found a few photos attached to the written information. A girl in a hospital-bed, looking more dead than alive. Somthing about her seemed oddly familiar to Sakura, though try as she might, she could not remember where she had seen her before. Judging by her age, about fifteen, it was quite possible that she had been at the academy with Konohamaru. Maybe, Sakura thought, she had seen her during the last chunin-exams?  
>The file gave no name, stated just that the girl had been submitted to hospital about four weeks ago, and had ever since stayed comatoes. Her identity was yet to be revelead, and given recent events and the fact that the girl appeared shortly after Uzuki Yugao had gone missing, she was labeled a suspect.<br>Maybe this was a good thing, Sakura wondered. Afterall, the sooner the case seemed to be solved, the lesser the chance was for Kakashi to be discovered. But... Sakura swallowed. The girl was only fifteen. She looked so helpless, so innocent in the photographs. And she was. Or at least she was not the murderer of Uzuki Yugao. Having a fifteen-year-old killed in combat, or as punishment for a crime they actually had committed was one thing – but to have her put through the torturous process of interrogation, when she – that is Sakura – and Kakashi both knew that this girl had nothing to do with the crime she was accused of, to have her, in a worst case scenario, put to death for it...  
>Sakura covered the document with her arms, rested her head on them and closed her eyes. It wasn't up to her to make such decisions, she reminded herself.<p>

„Had you asked, I might have given you the day off..."  
>Sakura rose with a start.<br>„I'm wide awa-", the words spilled out of her mouth in reflex, but ceased the moment her eyes found Kakashi, sitting behind his own desk, reading his Icha Icha and surrounded by an air of nonchalance that made Sakura want to send him crashing through the next wall, or, preferably, the window. (The fall would serve him right)  
>Sakura took a deep breath. The longer she'd wait with this, she decided, the more awkward it would get. And so, her voice higher than she had planned, she asked what, if anything, had happened last night.<br>Kakashi lowered his book and gave Sakura a quizzical look.  
>„I...", Sakura felt her face growing hot „I don't really remember much, but... uhm. We didn't", she bit her lip, unsure what action she intended to refer to and what word to use for it.<br>She heard the book's cover on the desk's wood, heard Kakashi's chair squeek as he leant back and quickly returned her attention to the unknown girl's photos infront of her.  
>„Didn't what?"<br>Sakura gave Kakashi a quick side glance. How could act so... normal?  
>„We... I, mean.. I … remember we kissed, but..."<br>„Hmm..."  
>From the corner of her eyes she saw him get up.<br>„Sorry, you must have dreamt that", Kakashi said, as he walked over to her.  
>If Sakura had felt uneasy before, she now was falling into a bottomless pit of uncomfortable awkwardness.<br>„But, today... morning, you"  
>„You were in a pretty bad shape and I didn't want to leave you alone."<br>Sakura opened and shut her mouth a few times, trying to figure out if she should feel relieved now or embarassed for ever assuming that they – Still trying to disentangle her emotional confusion, Sakura realised that Kakashi was no longer looking at her. He stared right past her, his eye wide and displaying a degree of discomposure Sakura had never seen in his face.  
>„Where did you get that?"<br>It was with a mixture of astonishment and concern that Sakura noticed Kakashi's hand shaking as he reached out for the file that still lay open on her desk, and even Pakkun seemed fazed by it, stopped cleaning his hindlegs and looked up, his furrowed pug's face furrowed even deeper in concern.  
>Sakura explained the report had been among other documents regarding Yugao's disappearance, as matter-of-factly as Kakashi's untypical demeanour admitted, she told him about the girl, as far as she could from what she had read so far.<br>Kakashi didn't take in one single word.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Emiliana Torrini<em>

_Please tell me what you think!_  
><em>Critique and feedback is great, speculations even more so, but even a simple "Hello, I too read this!" is greatly appreciated. :)<em>  
><em>A hint for those who like to speculate: Look at the title of chapter 14!<em>


	36. A Book Like This

**A Book Like This**

Once upon a time there was young kunoichi who lived in the hidden village of Konoha. She was just about to turn sixteen, had lived through one war already and was well respected among her comrades as being a reliable and well trained medic. However, this story will not tell of her adventures during war, will not follow her on dangerous missions.  
>This story will tell of her first – her one, true love.<p>

As said before, she was fifteen, and thus at ane age where human beings are quick to find their one, true love – and if said one, true love should dumb them, they will feel heartbroken for a while, but soon enough find another love to call true and one and only.  
>The kunoichi however was different, at least that is what she believed, for she had cherished her love, her one, true love, for three years now, and would do so forever and untill death.<br>Her one true love, on the other hand, knew little of the affactions bestowed upon him.  
>He was a little less than a year younger than her, but as he had spent most of his childhood not being a child, he felt assured that puberty would pass him by unnoticed, as he had long since passed the painfull process of growing up. Of course, he was wrong. Many things that had seemed perfectly normal, if not completely uninteresting or nonexistant alltogether, would suddenly confuse him, but as he was used to surpressing any emotion that got in his way, he simply added those new, hormone-induced ones to the long list of feelings to be ignored.<br>For three years the young kunoichi had meant to confess her feelings to her one, true love, but never had had the chance. They had been on the same team for a while, had survived the past war together, but it seemed impossible to find the right moment to talk to him – somehow, in his presence every moment was the wrong moment for the discussion of personal matters – and eventually their team was disbanded.  
>From now on she saw very little of her one true love. He seemed to be out on missions all the time, and on the few occasions they accidantly bumped into each other neither he nore she knew what to say, so after a brief moment of awkward silence they shared their good-byes and each went her and his way respectively.<p>

For the story it is of no importance how she finally managed to get her long awaited first date with him. She might have plucked up all her courage and asked him out, though they might as well have met by chance near the memorial stone, where they both came to visit their mutual, and mutually lost, friend, where they then sat next to each other and looked at the stars.  
>She would point at this or that alignment and give them imaginary names, while he listened silently and watched the distance between them (which he initially had set at a very comfortable measure of fourtysix point seven centemeters) shrink with growing unease.<br>It was not that he did not like her. He did – and that was probably the reason for him to feel as profoundly confused in every imaginable way as he did at this very moment.  
>In fact, he felt so utterly confused that he found himself unable to move, which was something he had so far (or as far as his conscious memory served), not experienced, and in turn added a little bit of panic to his confusion, which confused him even more, for he was not normally prone to panic. He actually considered the possibilty that she might have put him under some kind of genjutsu, although he knew that she neither would nore could do so, and even if she had – he would be able to tell, and would know how to deal with it. Whereas, right now, he felt absolutly lost.<br>Meanwhile the kunoichi was not at all aware of the troubles her one, true love had. The only thing she was aware of was that he did not edge away, but instead allowed her to, very slowly, close the distance between them, untill their shoulders touched, and he – for a brief second – thought he might die of a heartattack there and then, which was not at all the death he had imagined for himself.

While she had spent at least one of the past three years plotting and planning this encounter, he had tried his best to block out such thoughts, fought them off with cold showers and long training-sessions. So, while he was now confronted with pretty much everything he had tried to avoid on an imaginary level, she was now exactly where she had dreamt herself to be for quite some time.  
>When there was no way she could get any closer to him, but he still neither moved away nore showed any reaction towards her, the kunoichi decided to go for a somewhat bold move. She swung one leg over his outstretched two, and kneeled across his lap, facing him with a look in her eyes that reminded him very much of a cat, staring at a cornered mouse. He had never liked cats as such, but (for reasons he did not fully understand), he did like the look on the kunoichi's face, and the way that her looking at him like this made him feel.<br>They sat like this for a very long time. He only managed to regain control over his movements when she gingerly reached up and wanted to remove the mask from his face, which up until now had done an admirable job in hiding any expression of confusion or even panic. He caught her hand right before her fingers managed to slip under the fabric. Now she'll probably give up, he thought and was not sure how he felt about this.  
>But the kunoichi did not give up, she had spent the last three years dreaming of this exact moment, there was no way she would give up just now. She could not stop a hint of amusement from shwoing on her face as she watched him lower his hand slowly, ready to stop her any time she would repeat the attempt to unmask him. She did not attempt any such thing, though. She simply ingored the mask as she leant her head forward, brushed her bare nose against his cloth-covered and placed her lips on his without actually touching them.<br>They sat like this forever, breathing in each others breath untill they both started to feel slightly dizzy. Then he himself reached up and hesitantly pushed down his mask.  
>The kunoichi leant back a little. She had seen his face one some occasions, when he was injured and she had treated him. Seeing it now however, having him reveale it to her willingly and by his own choice, felt as intimate as seeing him naked. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze and she could not but smile at the sight.<p>

They kissed. It was not a very good kiss, but as neither he nore she had ever kissed anyone before, they were unable to tell. After they had spent some time kissing, he gently pushed her away and got up. He would go home now, he told her, and something about it being late and training-sessions early next morning. The kunoichi asked him, if he would at least walk her home but he shook his head and pulled his mask back up. The kunoichi thought for a moment, then decided that this situation called for unconventional means, and suggest to walk him home instead. Her one, true love shrugged, but did not resist when she took hold of his hand. Their steps synchronized well, which was perfectly logical, he reminded himself, as they had fought side by side often enough.  
>When they reached his house he said good-night. The kunoichi did not move.<br>„You should go home", he told her, as she apparently did not understand this.  
>„I know", she smiled „I should, but do you want me to?"<br>He looked away, glad that once more his face was as good as fully hidden.  
>„Hypotheticaly speaking", the kunoichi explained, while she placed her arm around him „if there were no training-sessions tomorrow and you were no elite-shinobi frequently putting your life on the line during some super-secret missions – would you still want me to leave?"<br>„Hn", was all he managed in reply, as she pressed against him and they both stumbled inside.

Their affair, relationship, liaison lasted one week. One precious week during which neither he nor she was assigned to any mission, one precious week during which he grew a little less shy and she grew a little less aggressive and eventually they met somewhere in the middle, in a blissfull and passionate climax of intimacy.  
>Then he recieved message, he had to leave for the Land of Water the next day, and while anyone might expect the prospect of not seeing his love for some time would spur a longing to spent the remaining time with her as close as anatomically possible, when the kunoichi arrived at his place that evening she found him surprisingly quiet and reserved.<br>„This has to stop", he told her, his face bare any emotion.  
>The kunoichi's first reaction was to laugh at him, then she tried to shake, hug or kiss him back to his senses, but he pushed her away. At last she would talk at him, her voice rising slowly from hurt disbelieve to sheer rage, while he just sat in silence and looked at her, as if she was the one behaving irrational and not him. At last her voice subsided in cold hate, she stormed to the door, picked up her sandals – she did not even bother putting them on – and looked at him one last time.<br>„I hope you'll die alone and isolated in that shell of yours", she said, and sounded very much like a witch speaking her final curse, before the stake's flames fully consume her.

Had the kunoichi's life been a book, her one, true love would have met her again after his mission, heart filled with regret and deep longing. In a book, she would have waited at the village's gate for him to return home, would have forgiven him, they would have shared the most beautiful kiss while the sunset drowned the world around them in red and gold.  
>However, when her one, true love returned, save and for the most part unharmed, she was not waiting for him at the village's gate, nore was she at the hospital or her own place, she did not stop by at his, did not hang around their Sensei's home to have tea with his pregnant wife.<br>For the kunoichi was never meant to be a story's heroine, nore was her one, true love, ever designed to deserve a happy ending, and so, in his absence, she too was sent out on a mission, but unlike him, she never returned.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Angus &amp; Julia Stone<em>

_Now, I think this is my favourite chapter so far (also, my most favourite song to accompany it). It also turned out to be surprisingly long, but then again - flashbacks always do. _

_All this apart - "..., in a blissfull and passionate climax of intimacy." ... Could somebody please shoot me? _


	37. Between the Bars

**Between the Bars**

When Sakura went home this evening her headaches were long forgotten, and so were all worries about what to say, when Kiba inevitably would want to know where she went last night.  
>The one thing occupying her mind was the girl in the photos, who she was, and why the bare sight of her had unsettled Kakashi so much. Of course her first action was to ask, but this approach showed little success. The moment Sakura had drawn Kakashi's attention back to her, a switch flipped, and he returned to his well composed, slightly indifferent self.<br>„No", he replied when Sakura asked him if he knew the girl. She simply reminded him of someone, he told her and then quickly turned to the client's requests that had arrived over night. Any further enquiry he ignored, acted as if the girl's file did not at all exist.  
>It was not until they packed up to go home, that he told Sakura to look over the girl's interrogation, making it very clear that he would not have anything to do with it.<p>

Whoever the girl reminded him of, whoever she was, she had to be pretty important, Sakura thought, and somehow this struck her as surprising. She knew that Kakashi, in his own detached sort of way, cared deeply about the people around him, still he never gave the impression that anyone was actually important to him.  
>After the war had ended they had had to count the casualties. They sat with long lists of names, on which – who ever was missing or reported dead by his comrades – would simply get corssed out. It took less than an hour before Sakura broke down, and she wasn't the only one – not among the younger ones anyway, but even those who were old enough to have known war before had a hard time keeping their countenance. Kakashi on the other hand wrote down the deaths of his comrades, as emotionless as if he was putting down his shopping list.<br>Sakura knew that this was just another mask he was wearing, but she had not expected to ever see this immaterial mask crack, if only for a few seconds. It had stayed in place perfectly, even as the last search-party returned with no remains of Naruto and Sasuke, except for the latter's sheath, stayed in place when both of them were finally and officially declared dead.

It was with these thoughts that Sakura took the stairs up to her appartment, too immersed in them to notice the figure leaning in her doorway. Just when she reached out to unlock the door something grapped hold of her hand, and she realised Kiba's presence.  
>„Where were you?", to Sakura's relief he held his voice down, showing lesser of his anger and a little respect for her neighbours.<br>„At work", she replied evenly, teared her wrist from his grasp and went inside. She was not sure if she wanted him to follow, but before she had a chance to close the door behind her, he was already beside her.  
>„I...", she kicked off her sandals, noticed him dropping the shoes she had worn yesterday evening.<br>„I wanted to go for a walk", she said lamely.  
>„With no shoes?"<br>„Well, I..."  
>„You climbed out my window."<br>„I didn't want to wake anyone. Also", Sakura added switching from defensive to offensive „you never care to use my door – so why should I bother?"  
>There was a pause in which Kiba sat down on her sofa.<br>„I was worried sick", he admitted after a while, all anger gone.  
>„I'm sorry", Sakura sat down on his lap, wrapped her arms around him. No, she decided, after a short moment of doubt, she was glad Kiba was here. With all that was going on, he was the one person she could come home to.<br>„I didn't mean to have you worried. I just... ended up at my place, ... It's sort of foggy", at least that last bit wasn't a lie.  
>„.. you <em>were<em> pretty drunk last."  
>„Hm", Sakura placed a few light kisses on his neck, his ear, she felt his hands searching their way under her shirt, her skirt, tender and soft, but always keen and bold as they moved.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Elliott Smith (though I highly recomment the cover-version done by Chris Garneau!)<em>


	38. The Wrong Band

**The Wrong Band**

They had observed him as he left the academy, as he said good-bye to Sakura, as he stopped, halfway home, chose the street leading away from the village instead. They followed, keeping their distance and making sure that the wind blew in the right direction, so that it would not carry their scent to him and his ninken.  
>He stopped briefly at the memorial stone's replacement, stood there for some time before he stuffed his hands back into his pockets and walked on to the training ground.<br>It was then, that the earth beneath them started to move, and before anyone of them could so much as voice their surprise, two of them were suddenly dragged underground, leaving nothing more than their heads outside. The third stood still, weapons ready, when infront of them – nothing more than a silhoutte against the moonlight, the object of their observance appeared.  
>„I'm sorry to say this", he said „but had you left this to the boys, I might not have noticed you at all – Tenten."<p>

The girl shot a quick look at Sai and Neji, who seemed to agree with this. She grit her teeth but kept silent.  
>„Now – care to tell me, what you're up to?"<br>Kakashi was met with unisone silence, which was only broken when Tenten had sat the question aside, why on earth she should be the one to blame for their detection, and instead gathered all her courage and said, in what she hoped was a firm voice:  
>„We could ask you the same."<p>

„It was her idea", Sai pointed out later„She said to keep an eye on."  
>„I just", Tenten tried to explain herself „thought it strange, that Pakkun told us to halt our investigation, only to head back to that exact spot with you. So I, uhm, asked Neji to watch..."<br>To his own surprise, Kakashi actually felt relief when he heard this. He beckoned them to continue, listened with great interest when Neji described a change in his – that is Kakashi's – chakra, that had occured when Madara took possession of him, though Neji only could define it as _something_ that was different.  
>After Kakashi and Pakkun were gone, he and Tenten went to investigate the cave on their own, which was where they met Sai (who would only state that he had his own reasons for suspicion, when asked what he was doing there).<br>„We couldn't figure out what the circle in the cave is for", Tenten concluded „So we decided to keep an eye on you instead."  
>She exchanged anxious looks with her two comrades, but Kakashi only raised one impressed eyebrow.<br>„You monitored me the whole past month?", he asked.  
>Three heads nodded sheepishly.<br>„So you know-"  
>„We know that you let Sakura in on – what ever is going on. We also know that-", but Sai got cut off by two elbows nudging him from either side.<br>„We also know that there was one more occassion on which your chakra changed, though it was different that time", Neji quickly ended the sentence.  
>„We didn't", Tenten added „do this because we don't trust you. We just were... kind of worried", she blushed, visible even in the dim light of the moon.<br>„Hmm", Kakashi scratched his masked chin, thought for a moment that seemed to stretch endlessly.  
>„I would ask you to continue your work", he said slowly „but seeing how easly you got caught off guard, I'm not really sure how much good that would do."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Tori Amos.<em>

_Let's be sincere, I'm not too fond of this chapter. Ah, well - at least I got past that plotpoint...  
>Oh, and don't think I'd just skip all the angsty bits that were bound to come. I simply postponed them<em> :D


	39. Back For Good

**Back For Good**

„Weren't you supposed to have the day off?", Kiba murmurmed as Sakura's alarmclock went off.  
>Sakura reached out to stop the ringing, then turned over and gave him kiss on his nose.<br>„Sorry", she whispered, slipped out of his arms and into her bathroom.  
>Half an hour later she arrived at the hospital, followed a young nurse down the corridors to the mysterious girl's room.<br>„Here we are", she said and smiled at Sakura nervously from behind her glasses.  
>„C-can I say", the nurse stammered – she was little more than fourteen, Sakura noted, „It's an honour to meet you."<br>„Thank you", Sakura nodded politely, wondering why on earth anyone would feel honoured to meet her.  
>„That's all. I'll call you if I need anything", she added, unsure what else to say. It was only when the nurse blushed, bowed her head and left, that Sakura thought she might have sounded a tat arrogant.<p>

Seeing the girl for real she seemed less familiar. Sakura checked the her medical file, checked the devices keeping her alive, and was satisfied to find that she would, with no problmens at all, be able to stated her unfit for interrogation for at least one more week. She was about to leave, when a thought occured to her. She checked that no-one was coming her way, then took a sample of the girls blood, and – sample tucked away in her pocket – made her way for the laboratory.  
>She was lucky to find the lab empty, made once again sure that she had not been followed – she couldn't say where this sudden paranoia came from – and let the computer scan the girl's blood sample. She had no doubt that this had already been done, and was not at all surprised to find that the DNA did not match with any person alive.<br>„Right", Sakura gave the monitore a challenging grin „Now what if I change the paramters?"  
>She did, watched as the computer ran through its database again. It took him much longer this time, long enough for Sakura to build a whole army of origami-slugs. Even as she had to admit that there were no scraps of paper left for her to use anywhere in the lab, the computer was still computing. Sakura looked at the clock hanging on the wall. She was supposed to meet with Kakashi in about fifteen minutes. She considered leaving the computer alone, as she suspected the task she had given him would take up the better part of the day, if not longer, but she didn't want to risk anyone to stumble upon the information it might reveale in the end.<br>At least she should try and make use of the time, she thought, took one of the bigger slugs she had folded earlier, carefully unfolded it and picked up a pen.  
>The dimension Madara and Naruto were trapped in probably was seated between the realm of the living and the dead, she and Kakashi had concluded. By killing someone in a place where the walls between those realms were naturally thin, Madara was trying to open a door, which would allow him to permanently return.<br>Sakura scribbled two round bubbles with another one squashed between them, then drew an arrow leading from the right bubble to the left and through the one in the middle, added a few lines to indicate the direction in which the walls would break as the deceased passed over to the afterlife.  
>This was natural, she thought, everytime someone died the walls between dimensions had to open in this direction, and inevitably would fall back in place shortly afterwards.<br>„But", she said to herself, scribbled down another arrow, pointing from the left bubble to the right one „if someone was to pass through this hole in the other direction before it closes, the walls could get damaged in the process"  
>However, if Madara was actually able to send someone from the realm of the dead to that of the living – actually resurrect them and not in an impure sort of way – then why couldn't he do the same with himself?<br>Sakura glanced at the computer, which was still calculating. She probably should get a message to Kakashi that she wouldn't show up for a while, she thought, when a sudden „pling" noted the successfull end of the enquiery.  
>More excited than she would admit, Sakura looked at the database-entry that had popped up on the monitore, scanned it briefly, before she unfolded another slug and ordered the printer to make use of the paper.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Take That!<br>_

_Ha! I really couldn't find any song to borrow the title for this chapter from. As mentioned before, I'm running out of songs - I really need to finish this story before I start to quote Britney Spears..._  
><em>Actually, I should take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of you, dear readers, especially those who keep encouraging me to write one with their kind reviews!<em> _I probably would have dropped this little project/experiment long ago had it not been for you! :)_

_Also: God bless the simplicity of fictional science!_

_Lastly: YES - you _can_ do origmai-slugs (google it!). Initially though I had Sakura fold paper-frogs, because they are among the only creatures I can do (frogs and owls)_


	40. Blasphemous Rumours

**Blasphemous Rumours  
><strong>

„Sorry I'm late, I-"  
>Sakura stopped midsentence. She did a doubletake, before she was certain that her eyes were not lying, then asked with little to no respect at all:<br>„What are they doing here?"  
>It wasn't that she had anything against company, it was just that she had expected Kakashi to be on his own. She had been eager, if a little anxious, to tell him about her new formed theory, to show him what she had found out about the mystery-girl, but she couldn't do so with Neji, Sai and Tenten around.<br>„Well, we found out about your – er – your problem, so Kakashi decided to let us in on your plan", Tenten replied, and gestured towards the chair next to her. Sakura reluctantly sat down, and wondered what kind of plan Tenten was talking about. So far, all they had come up with was the certainty that they had to come up with some kind of plan. Before she could say anyhting though, Sai casually had asked her how Kiba was.  
>„Fine...", Sakura gave him a puzzled look. „Why?"<br>„It is said to be polite to show some interest in the well-being of a friend's partner", he replied with a smile, but did not get a chance to deepen his display of interest, as Kakashi politely suggested to save the small-talk for later.

Kakashi had already filled them in on what had happened since Yugao's disappearance when Sakura arrived, and – as he felt he had talked for long enough – asked her to continue with explaining the theories they had come to so far.  
>„Uhm", Sakura hesitated, then drew one crumbled piece of paper from her pouch, peered at it – just to make sure that she did not by chance get the wrong one – and placed the drawing on the table. She explained the two round bubbles to be the realm of the living and the dead, the one squashed between them the interdimension Naruto and Madara were trapped in, then continued to define how she assumed Madara tried to establish a hole in these walls, by having someone die at a softspot as the cave happened to be.<br>„So, what about the other arrow?", Tenten asked after she had pondered on it for a while.  
>„Well", Sakura cautiously peered at Kakashi, but what ever he was thinking or feeling, he kept it to himself.<br>„I figured, the walls that seperate the realms of the dead and the living are made to break in one direction, to let the dead pass over. Those holes should close naturally", she paused.  
>„But, if Madara somehow managed to send someone through such a hole in the other direction-"<br>„You mean", Tenten interrupted her „bring someone dead back to life?"  
>Sakura nodded.<br>„If he was to send someone back to the living world, the hole made by the deceased passing over wouldn't close that easy again."  
>„Like, when you stab someone and pulling out the blade will cause additional damage?", Tenten asked.<br>Sakura nodded, her eyes still fixed on Kakashi.  
>„But", Neji threw in „no one came back from the dead yet."<br>Again Sakura hesitated before she produced the second sheet of paper, kept it in her hands.  
>„Shortly after Yugao's disappearance two shinobi stumbled upon the unconcious body of a young kunoichi, during their patrol", she said slowly „Her identity could not be revealed, and her DNA did not match that of anyone in our database."<br>Sakura waited for one of the others to point out that this was not at all proof that the girl had come from the dead, but they all just looked at her expectantly.  
>„Well, her DNA did not match that of anyone alive. I run a second check, comparing it with the DNA of the deceased as well... and this is what I found."<br>One last time she looked at Kakashi, looked for even the slightest sign of any kind of emotional reaction. There was none, so she finally she lay the printout, by now even more crumbled than it had originally been, open for everyone to see.

* * *

><p><em>Title somewhat randomly, but with all due respect, borrowed from: Depeche Mode<em>

_And I still haven't once written her name... but, hey.  
><em>40 Chapters!1 <em>  
><em>

_I'm relatively late with this update_ - _this is not only because it took me ages to find the right song to go with this chapter. I'm also having a hard time with all the explaining that finally has to be done. So, if the next chapter(s) should take me longer than usually, it is because of this and this only.  
>Btw. I finally figured out why there's always one "stupid" guy on the team. You <em>need_ someone to ask the questions and state the obvious._


	41. Hope and Memory

**Hope and Memory  
><strong>

He had never had the intention of coming home. When he ran off, all he had wanted was to get as far away as possible. Maybe he had believed that if he left, the memories would stay behind, he would not have to stop at every damned streetlamp, because it reminded him of some friend whom he had lost – one way or another. Maybe he had believed, that if he wasn't surrounded by constant reminders, it would get better. Maybe he had believed that in some faraway place his appetite would return.  
>He had been wrong and had been right. One year he travelled, visited the smaller nations that bordered to the Land of Fire and realised that yes, he could try and run away from his own loss – even if this meant leaving everyone he still had left behind, but he could not run from the terrors the war had caused, for they were not limited to his village.<br>Still, it had not been his own idea to return. During his travels he would offer his help as a mercenary in order to get by. Had he been asked to escort someone to Konohagakure, he probably would have refused, but no one had asked him. He had just sat down to rest, had just started to unpack the provision he had recieved in way of payment for his last job, when he heard a cry for help from the road.  
>Long story short, he came to save a merchant's life and goods from the hands of some robbers, and the merchant in turn insisted on him accompanying him. If only so that he, the merchant that is, would get a chance to pay the shinobi back, once he had exchanged his goods for money. And thus he was, so to speak, brought back to Konohagakure.<p>

When they passed the village's gate he tried his best to walk by unnoticed. Though, admitadly his physical form was never meant to walk by unnoticed, and the moment he set foot on Konohan soil, the two guards, namely Kamizuki Izumo and Hagane Kotetsu, jumped up to greet him – as if he was a long lost war-hero, finally returned home. Which sort of was what he was, still he felt this greeting to be highly inadequat.  
>He managed to shake them off, told them he had to say hello to his family and walked into the village, avoiding open streets or any places where he might stumble into someone who knew him. He did not imediatly go to see his family. There was someone else he had to see first, someone he owed an apology.<br>He felt surprisingly calm when he entered the hospital, walked over to the receptionist – who did not seem to recognise him – and was just about to ask where he might find his friend, when a loud scream interrupted him and everyone else present in the hospital's lobby, someone jumped on his back and covered his eyes with two slender, well manicured hands.  
>„Chojiiii! You came back!", his attacker squealed, got off him, pulled him around to see his face, maybe to make sure it really as him, then slapped him as hard as one can without reinforcing the blow with chakra.<br>„That's for leaving, you fat-ass idiot", she said.

They spent Ino's entire break walking in the hospital garden. They didn't talk much, because neither of them knew where to start. After she had returned to her work, Choji made his way for Kurenai's apartment. As he climbed up the stairs he was beginning to feel nervous, maybe he should see his family first after all? But there he was already, his finger pressed on the doorbell. He counted down from three. If she did not open in time -

„Choji...", Kurenai looked at him in disbelief, then gave him a quick hug before she ushered him to come in, led him into a small kitchen and offered him some tea.  
>„Uhm, actually", Choji scratched his head „I came to see Shikamaru. Ino said he'd be with you."<br>Kurenai smiled, she nodded towards the door leading to her livingroom.  
>There he was, half kneeling and seemingly unaware of anything around him except for the one-year old girl, holding on to his fingers as she tried to figure out how to carry her weight on two legs.<br>„He must be getting better, if you let him play with her", Choji mused over his tea.  
>„I don't know...", Kurenai sight „I think he's getting better because I let him play with her."<br>Choji looked confused, then reached for the sugar and shoveled a considerable amount of the sweetener into his cup.  
>„Nozomi's the first and only person he always seems to recognise. I guess the promise he gave to Asuma weighs heavier than Madara's genjutsu", she gave a sad smile.<br>It was this moment, when little Nozomi decided that she was tired of learning how to walk, fell down on all fours and crawled to her mother, Shikamaru following after her.  
>As he entered the kitchen he stopped.<br>„What is that man doing here?", he pointed at Choji, who swallowed hard on his tea. He wasn't going to take it personal this time, because this time he was prepared, this time he knew what to expect. What he had not expected though was as small toddler's hand tugging his trousers, pointing – her big eyes wide with astonishment.  
>„Phat!", she said, as bluntly amazed as only little children can be.<br>„That's not a very nice thing to say, Nozomi-chan", Shikamaru told her, picked her up and placed her – as expertly as any parent would – on his hip.  
>„This is Choji", he told her „and he's not fat, he is simply big-boned."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: the soundtrack of the Lord of the Rings III: Return of the King (Or, if you like, from Howard Shore)<em>


	42. Map of the Problematique

**Map Of The Problematique**

Of course Kakashi knew that they expected him to say something, to be – what? Shocked? Relieved? He wasn't too sure. Disturbed maybe. Yes, they probably expected the revelation of her identity to disturb him in some way. But even if he had known what his thoughts were as he was presented with proof for what he had not dared to believe, even if his meddled up emotions had not turned into stoic numbness before they even had a chance to show, he simply did not want to give them the pleasure. He complimented Sakura briefly on her find, but pointed out that her theory did not at all account for the means by which Madara took possession of his body, or connected to this world in the first place.  
>„I can't say anything for certain", Neji took his cue there „The first time he possessed you I did not know what I was looking at – my eyes may see a lot, but they aren't that quick in processing the information – and the second time, when Naruto possessed you that is, I did not see what happened at all, as you were inside here", he gestured at the building surrounding them. For obvious reasons the Hokage's Residence was constructed in a way that did not allow even the most skilled byakugan-user to see through it's walls.<br>„I also haven't seen you use Kamui often enough to be sure – but when he took possession at the cave, I initally thought you were using it there, judging by the chakraflow around your Sharingan. Though, of course it was covered at that time. Also", he paused for a second, seemingly searching for the right words to use „the Sharingan wasn't projecting anything, as it would if you opened an interdimensional hole somewhere, but rather opening itself..."  
>He waited for the others to take this information in, waited for questions to be asked, but they all just beckoned him to continue.<br>„As far as I can tell, I would say that during the second time, when it was Naruto, it was simply his conciousness passing over into your body. The first time however, when it was Madara himself, I'd say his spiritual energy was actually trying to assimilate your chakra."  
>„What?", Sakura blurted out.<br>„Chakra is-", Sai began to explain, but she cut him off.  
>„I know, I know.. Chakra is the resulting energy formed when the spiritual and physical energy react with each other", she quoted „but also acts as a transmitter between both forms of energy. The Yamanaka' mindcontrol, for example, works by suggesting the victims physical energy that the user's chakra is their own, thus controling the body. But why would he try to assimilate Kakashi-sensei's Chakra? How is this even possible?"<br>Her question was met with silence, which was eventually ended by Tenten.  
>„Anyway", she said, as she saw no use in pondering on something they, as it was, could not figure out yet „Why the headaches? Mindcontrol isn't supposed to hurt the victim physically, is it?"<br>„It could be, because the Sharingan is being controled remotely", Sai suggested.  
>„Also, if it actually opens itself, that's ought to hurt, right?"<br>„Could be", Kakashi mused, thought for a moment, then added:  
>„Although it could also be, because I wasn't actually made to be used for this purpose."<br>„You mean", Sakura casually removed her foreheadprotector to allow her fingers to comb through her hair, as if in doing so she could make some air for her thoughts, „this – what ever technic Madara is using – actually would require a true Uchiha to be the reciever."  
>„So, on the occassions the headaches occured, but no possession followed", Tenten thought aloud „Madara was, like, only taking a peek on the other side."<br>They agreed, then were silent for some time. They all felt that, while they were getting a clearer view of what was going on, they still were no where nearer to actually understanding it.  
>„When did the headaches start anyway?", Sakura finally asked.<br>Kakashi shrugged. He couldn't really remember.  
>„After you left for Suna, I think", he said, after he had thought about it for a while.<br>„Didn't you check out Shikamaru's wall painting around that time?", Sai wondered.  
>Kakashi blinked, then admitted that he had no idea what Sai was talking about.<br>„Kurenai asked me to copy it. She said, you wanted to take a look at it, but apparently found nothing, as you never mentioned it thereafter."

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Muse.<br>Additional credits going to: The guys (and girls) from naruto-wikia, especially those who wrote the article regarding Chakra.  
><em>

_Who needs narrative, when you've got characters who can talk? ^^"_

_Are things getting clearer now? I have no idea.  
>Oh well, if things don't work out logically I'll just let it all end with some outrages deus-ex-machina, neglecting everything I wrote before. To make up for this, somehwat grim prediction (which, I hope wont come true, as I really <em>want_ to tie up those lose ends), here's a joke:_

_Neji, Sai and Kakashi went into a pub.  
>This was not part of their mission. <em>

_Really, who could have thought of a group more fun? And why didn't I invite Shino as well?  
>Because I was afraid of the tremendouse amount of small-talk and general display of ... everything ...<br>_

_[Right, I'll stop rambling. Thank you for your patenience! And also for your kind reviews! They mean a lot to me. Also, they probably are the one thing that can prevent the deus-ex-machina ending. Hopefully.]_


	43. Waiting for the Miracle

**Waiting for the Mircale**

When they left Kakashi alone in his study it was late afternoon. Sai had already gone to see Kurenai, who hopefully would not only hand him back his copy of Shikamaru's painting, but also provide him with anything she might have found out about its nature.  
>Tenten had offered to continue her investigation regarding the soft-spotted cave, thus headed for the village's archive, accompanied by Neji – whose task was to keep his allseeing eyes on Kakashi, half the time at least. He shouldn't strain himself too much, Kakashi had adviced, he still had his Ninken who would alert them should anything happen.<br>„If Madara takes possession of me, I'd rather have you fit to fight", he had said, which seemed reasonable enough to Neji, although he suspected that Kakashi also feared for his precious privacy. (Not that he could blame him.)  
>They had not yet passed the Hokage's Residence's gate, when Sakura stopped.<br>„I, uhm, forgot my hitai-ate", she noticed not very convincingly.  
>„Right...", Tenten tried to exchange meaningful glances with Neji, who suddenly seemed very interested in the shape of his fingernails.<br>„Tenten, if you don't want the archive to be closed by the time we get there", he said pointedly „we should get going."  
>And off they went.<p>

Sakura knocked, but did not wait for an invitation before she reentered the study. She went to pick up the foreheadprotector as naturally as possible. If Kakashi wanted her around he would say so. If not, he would just keep staring at the database printout and continue to ignore her.  
>That had been her plan anyway, but then her curiosity, or compassion, or both, got the better of her.<br>„Are you okay?"  
>She didn't get an answer, and would have left it at that had she not, as she was about to leave, felt Pakkuns head pressing against her left leg, pushing her a little in Kakashi's direction.<br>„Do you want me to come with you?", she had her hand hovering over his shoulder for a second, then decided that Kakashi probably wasn't someone to appreciate such comforting gestures too much.  
>„Hm?", Kakashi looked up from the document in his hand.<br>„The hospital", Sakura suggested, and then, as she realised that this offer might seem a little too foreward, quickly added that she had to go there anyway to check for any medical records of chakra-assimilation.

When they reached the girl's room, Sakura was holding his hand. Neither she, nore Kakashi knew when or how she had come to do so, but now – his other hand already on the door – he seemed a little reluctant to let her go.  
>„I'll wait here", Sakura gave him a reasuring smile, then let go of him and watched him as he, less carefree than his usual self, still calmer, more composed than she would have expected even of him, went inside.<p>

Although he never had actually imagined her growing up and getting older, in his memories she had always remained about the same age as him. He had never tried to picture her as a woman, yet seeing her now, as a girl seemed wrong to him.  
>For some time he stood by her bed and just looked at her, skin pale as ashes, her cheeks sunken, her brown hair tangled and dull, tubes and wires running in and out of her body, as if she herself was some kind of machine. As if she was not supposed to be here.<br>Which she wasn't, Kakashi reminded himself. This was all wrong, and he knew it, as unnatural as the wheezing noise the mechanical ventilator emmited with every mechanical breath it gave her.  
>It occured to him that she would stay like this forever – because the dead aren't supposed to come back alive – but he had seen her medical file, had seen the words „chance of recovery" written there. He allowed his fingers to touch her, to stroke over her forehead, to trace the form of her eyebrows, the back of her nose down to where it was covered by her breathing mask. He was startled by the warmth of her body, was surprised that her hand, when he took it, did not feel like that of a corps, but like that of a breathing, living, person merely asleep.<br>There was a tingling sensation, somewhere around his eyes, and Kakashi wondered if he was going to cry. He couldn't remember when he had cried for the last time, if he ever had – tears always seemed to get soaked up by the same black holes that kept the memories ofthose things he knew had happened, eventhough he could not truely recollect the event itself.  
>He should say something, he thought, but his mouth was dry and his mind was blank and he could not really understand why it had been so much easier to talk to a photograph or a stone, than to the actual person.<br>„I'm sorry", he finally managed to breathe – it wasn't even so much as a whisper.  
>„Rin –"<br>Then his voice failed him completely and his vision started to blur.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: one of the saddest, most beautiful songs in existence, written by the master of heartwrenching melancholy himself, Mr Leonard Cohen!<em>

_(If you are going to listen to this song – make sure it is the Album Version, and not the one from the Natural Born Killers OST, which is only half as long and not half as beautiful!)_


	44. Shadows

**Shadows**

They sat in the kitchen and talked, and in a way it seemed like the normalest scene in the world. True, Shikamaru's attention was still fixed to Nozomi, but at least he was there, appeared to listen, while Choji told Kurenai about his travels. This act of normality lasted until Nozomi got drowsy and Shikamaru handed her back to her mother.  
>When Kurenai and Nozomi had left, Shikamaru turned to Choji, his thin brows furrowed, his lips pursed as if he was trying to figure something out.<br>„Did you find them?", he asked after he had thought for a while.  
>Choji did not know how or what to reply. Maybe he should just pretend that he knew what he was talking about? But then Shikamaru probably would notice, and Choji did not want him to think that he didn't take him serious. He hoped that Kurenai would come back soon.<br>Shikamaru reached for the sugar bowl.  
>„They can't", he said in the most serious voice „pour water from it."<br>And with this he turned the bowl over and dumped its content on the kitchentable. Then he looked at Choji, his eyes begging him to understand.  
>But Choji didn't understand, he just chewed on this lip and blinked rapidly and Shikamaru wondered if he had even listened to one single word he had said.<p>

Kurenai had just finished putting Nozomi to bed when the doorbell rang. This was odd, she thought, she didn't usual get a lot of visitors. She briefly wondered if Ino might have gotten the day off early, but soon decided that should this be the case, the girl probably had better things to do with such unexpectatly aquired freetime.  
>Whomever she had expected, it hadn't been Sai and she was even more surprised when he asked her about the copy of Shikamaru's wallpainting.<br>„It should be here somewhere", she said opening various drawers and pulling out different folders and loose pages that soon enough covered half of her desk and part of the livingroom floor.  
>„What do you need it for anyway?", she asked when she finally had found it.<br>„The Hokage asked me to -"  
>„I thought Kakashi didn't find anything?"<br>„Well, he wanted to check -"  
>He got interrupted as a shadow he had taken for that of the window's mutin, suddenly wrapped itself around the paper and snatched it from Kurenai's grasp.<br>„You mustn't show him!", Shikamaru pleaded, as he brought the drawing up in the air.  
>„Shikamaru...", Kurenai said, as soothingly as one can. She tried to step towards him, but found herself unabled move. She peered over at Sai, who seemed to have the same trouble, then at Choji, who stood a few steps behind Shikamaru in the kitchendoor, equally entangled in shadows.<br>„Shikamaru, let us go. We're not going to-"  
>„You don't understand!", Shikamaru's voice cracked, while the shadow holding the drawing began to shred the paper.<br>It was this moment, when Nozomi started to cry. Shikamaru turned to the bedroom door, his hands still locked in the Rat Seal.  
>„Shikamaru, let me go!", Kurenai ordered, watched as his eyes wandered from her and Sai, to the bedroom door and up to the drawing.<br>The second Kurenai was free, Shikamaru cried out in pain. He fell to his knees, just as the torn bits of paper floated back to the ground, frantically scratching his hands, trying to get rid of what ever it was, that covered them. Immediatly Choji was by his side, took hold of Shikamaru's wrists, as his fingernails dug their way through his skin, deep enough to draw blood, while Sai picked up the remains of the drawing and quickly stuffed them away in his pouch.  
>„I'm sorry", Kurenai whispered as she knelt down infront of Shikamaru, who was struggeling to get free from Choji's grasp. She released her genjutsu, then waited a few seconds for Shikamaru to calm down, before she went to check on Nozomi.<br>Choji carefully let go of his friend, who was staring at his hands, examining the blood trickling down his fingers with the greatest curiousity.  
>„What happened?", he asked, but Choji didn't know what to tell him. He didn't really understand what had just happened himself. He picked up Shikamaru, who was too busy turning his hands in this and that direction and marveling at the way gravity played with his blood too object, and placed him on a chair in the kitchen. He couldn't find any bandages so instead used papertowles to wrap up Shikamaru's hands, which wasn't all that easy as Shikamaru simply refused to remain still. He was about done, when Sai came in.<br>„Shikamaru?", Sai said, speaking slower and little louder than usually.  
>„Why can't Kakashi see the drawing?"<br>Shikamaru stared at him.  
>„Why – Can't – Kakashi – See – The – Drawing?", Sai repeated, carefully pronouncing each single word.<br>Shikamaru kept staring. He frowned, then got up, slipped past Choji and Sai and shuffled to the bathroom.

„Sorry about that", Kurenai said when she came back.  
>„Did you get the drawing?"<br>Sai nodded, pointed at his pouch.  
>„Do you think, Shikamaru knows what it is?"<br>„I think he knows a great deal more than that", Kurenai said after a moment of hesitation.  
>„Why else would Madara make sure that he can't tell anyone?"<br>Sai thought about this.  
>„So you think I shouldn't show the drawing to Kakashi?"<br>„I don't know", Kurenai tucked her hair back behind her ear „As he already saw it-"  
>They heard something crashing, and Kurenai sight. She placed one hand on Sai's shoulder and led him towards her apartment door.<br>„Why don't you come back later, when Shikamaru's with Ino?", she suggested

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Au Revoir Simone<em>


	45. Green Eyes

**Green Eyes**

Sakura waited for three houres. During the first houre she was sure that Kakashi wanted her to wait for him. The way his hand had seemed so unwilling to let go of hers, though it hadn't been more than the fraction of a second, a mere twitch, as his fingers clung to hers, was enough for Sakura to believe that sometimes even he needed something – someone to hold on to.  
>During the second houre she began to doubt it. These were the same thoughts she had had years ago regarding Sasuke, she scolded herself. The same silly ideas that, back then, had kept her from acknowledging that it always had been Naruto who made her smile, who was there for her – no matter what. Who had cared for her. Like Kiba did now. Who cared for her and wasn't afraid, or asahmed or too preoccupied to let it show.<br>During the third hour she tried to convince herself that, no, she was not following any kind of pattern, because, if you actually knew them, there was really nothing that Kakashi and Sasuke had in common. And, anyway, her affection for Kakashi was by no means and in no way of romantic nature.  
>At this point she decided she had spent enough time thinking. Looking for some kind of distraction she found a piece of paper in her pouch, she didn't look at it to see, what it was, just began to fold the paper into a windmill, tired of slugs after her morning in the lab. She had just finished it, when the door to Rin's room opened.<br>Quickly she stuffed the origami back in her pouch. She tried not to stare, which was much easier said than done. If there was even the slightes change in Kakashi's composure, she wanted to be sure to notice it. But Kakashi seemed, as far as she could tell, perfectly fine, perfectly normal – sounded just like he always did when he aplogised for keeping her waiting so long.

Kakashi did not tell her to leave him alone, and so Sakura tagged along with him and the Ninken as they returned to his place.  
>A few meters from the gate to his residence Kakashi stopped and Sakura waited for him to tell her good bye. But he just stared at her, long enough for Sakura to get uncomfortable.<br>„Are you alright?", she hesitantly asked. She didn't know why she even bothered. She already knew that he would just give her a skillfully faked smile and tell her that everything was fine, or if it was not, at least it would be in no time. For the first time though she wondered if it was really her whom he tried to convince of this truth.  
>„I'm not sure", his words cut through her thoughts.<br>„Would you..", he gestured towards his place.  
>The second he closed the door behind them and they became invisible to the world outside, Kakashi had his arms wrapped around Sakura and held her, or held on to her – she couldn't tell. She noticed him shivering a little, but it took her some time to understand that this was because he was – not crying, but fighting back tears.<br>They stood in the entry way, shoes still on their feet and stood there forever, stood there until Kakashi let go of her, turned away as he dapped his eye.  
>„Are you hungry?", he asked, his voice almost, but not quite, as calm and even as usually.<br>Sakura nodded, not only to humor him – she really was hungry. She followed Kakashi to the kitchen, where he dug up some left-overs and apologised for his general lack of hospitability.  
>He watched her eat, said he wasn't really hungry when Sakura asked why he wouldn't have anything.<p>

It was, Sakura realised when she stood in his bathroom and changed her clothes for the shirt he had given her, the third time she spent the night at his place in only a few days, and even though she knew she wasn't doing anything wrong, she couldn't deny a slight feeling of guilt as she crawled into Kakashi's bed.  
>The lights were still on when he came to join her, his face unmasked. She had never actually seen him before, Sakura thought then. Yes, she had seen his face, but only when he had been unconscious or, as recently, asleep. The one time she had seen him unmasked and awake Naruto's facial expressions had so dominantly invaded his features that, Sakura realised this now, he really had looked nothing like himself – although she wasn't sure if he looked anything like himself right now.<br>Kakashi didn't give her the chance to dwell on this very long though, for as soon as he lay down next to her, his face was burried somewhere between his arms and pillow. He lay with his back turned towards her, all curled up. Like a child, Sakura thought.  
>She watched for a while as his shoulders moved with each breath he took. He was counting them, Sakura knew, and in an affectionate sort of way it made her angry that even now he was still trying to stay all cool and controled.<br>„Shall I turn off the lights?", she asked. Maybe if it was dark – but Kakashi shook his head.  
>He turned over to look at her, pulling his blanket up over his nose as he did so (Sakura briefly wondered if he even noticed), his Sharingan covered by his left arm, his own eye moving back and forth in the futile attempt to look in both her eyes at the same time.<br>„You have no idea", he said slowly, as if he was only just realising this.  
>„You have no idea how much – you mean to me."<br>And before Sakura had any chance to fully grasp what she had just been told, Kakashi broke into tears, broke into tears in a way she never would have thought possible for him. She half expected him to shy away, to hide under his blanket completely, when she took his hands and stopped them from pulling his hair, from getting stuck between his teeth – he did not. He did not shy away, or hide. The second he felt her touch he crawled into her arms, clung to her as if his, or her, or both their lifes depended on it.

Eventually he calmed down, his head resting against her chest, their legs entangled – under any other circumstances it would have seemed all too suggestive, but right now it didn't matter.  
>Nore did that Sakura's face nestled in his hair – from up close she noticed, there were the thinest strands of black between his silverish grey – or that, somewhere between convulsive sobs his nails had left marks on her shoulder.<br>„Your shirt is all wet", Kakashi noted after they had remained still for some time. He moved to get up, slipped away from Sakura's grasp, and somehow managed to make his way to the dressing room and back without giving her a chance to see his, no doubt red and blotchy and tearstained, face.  
>When Sakura returned from changing, he was once again curled up on himself. Sakura climbed under her own spareblanket, looked at him for some time, then let her fingers brush through his hair.<br>„You're not ashamed, are you?", she asked.  
>Kakashi shook his head. He reached up, found her hand and wove his fingers between hers.<br>„I'm terrified", he said, sounded as if he wanted to make light of it but couldn't.  
>Sakura wrapped her arm around him, found her way back under his blanket. She smiled, her lips placed agains the back of his neck.<br>„I guess that's alright", she whispered. She felt him relax, gradually, lean back against her.  
>Only when she was sure that he had finally fallen asleep she turned off the light and allowed herself to try and do the same.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Coldplay <em>

_Oh, I had a hard time writing this chapter (and not only because I tend to empathise far too much while writing). I had it in mind ever since I ressurected Rin (which was about one month ago), but now that I sat down to put it into words nothing I had imagined beforehand seemed to work... I blame Coldplay though, because - originally - I had had some sinister plans for this chapter, but then winamp decided to randomly play this song and all evil fled from my typing fingers.  
><em>


	46. Twist in my Sobriety

**Twist in my Sobriety**

They had just left the hospital and were now heading back to the Hokage's residence, Ninken trailing behind them, when a scroll flying past his right ear forced Neji's focus to return to his immediate surroundings.  
>„Nothing!", Tenten spat, about to make a second scroll follow the first one.<br>„Maybe", Neji suggested „you should just give it -"  
>„No!", she cut him off.<br>„You're all doing something usefull. I'm not going to just stand by and _look pretty_!"  
>Neji sighed. He pointed out that evidently the scrolls they got from the village's archive didn't hold the information they were looking for and tossing them against the wall wouldn't change that.<br>Tenten hmpfed She let herself sink back to the floor. A spider that had build her web around the ceiling-lamp's cord had just caught a moth, and Tenten watched as the arachnoid dealt with its prey.  
>„You know what I don't get?", she mused.<br>„If Madara can ressurect the dead, why can't he just ressurect himself? And even if he, for what ever reason, can't do that, if this technic he's using on Kakashi-sama is actually meant to be used on a fellow Uchiha – why doesn't he just go and ressurect one of them to use?"  
>„Maybe he can only ressurect people who died in a specific way", Neji suggested.<br>„And", he added „the reciever probably needs to posses the Mangekyo Sharingan, in which case ressurecting some random Uchiha wouldn't be of much use."  
>Tenten nodded, rubbed her nose pensively, while Neji once more activated his Byakugan, just as Sakura and Kakashi vanished inside the Hokage's Residence.<br>„Did he go see the girl?", Tenten suddenly asked.  
>„I don't see how that's relevant", Neji replied shortly. He got up, brushed down his clothes as he did so. It was late, he said, and he'd head home now.<br>„I thought you'd stay here?", Tenten got hold of his ankle as he walked past her.  
>„Even you can't observe him from the other end of the village", she added as he slipped from her grasp and knelt down, his face half an arm's length above hers.<br>„He's home by now, so I can't see him anyway."  
>„You don't take this serious!", Tenten caught a strand of his hair between her fingers.<br>„I do", Neji grimaced „I simply respect his privacy."  
>„Like you did when you caught him and Sakura making out?"<br>Tenten grinned triumphantly as Neji's cheeks turned a light pink.  
>„I... I just – I was...", he stammered, pulled away from her and walked over to the window.<br>„You just wanted to make sure, he wasn't possessed, right?", Tenten's grin turned into a smirk.  
>„Just imagine what poor Lee would say if he knew..."<br>„Hm", Neji continued looking outside.  
>„Oh – flower of my love, my youthful spirit wasn't enough to win your heart!", Tenten jumped up striking a most dramatic pose „But why, oh why, had you to choose this grey-haired scarecrow over me?"<br>„You shouldn't mock the dead like that", Neji commented.  
>„I'm not mocking him", Tenten replied „This, my dear friend, was tribute."<br>She walked over to Neji, let her shoulder bumb against his.  
>„So? You're staying or not?"<p>

„Say", Tenten asked later, when they lay next to each other in her bed, each with his or her respective pillow and blanket, keeping just about the right amount of distance.  
>„Do you think, there really could be a way to get Naruto back?"<br>„I don't know...", Neji thought for a while.  
>„Even if there was – if doing so increases Madara's chance to return..."<br>„You don't think it'd be worth it?", Tenten turned to her side and eyed Neji carefully.  
>„I think", he hesitated „I think it would undo everything Naruto achieved when he defeated Madara... but", he added after a moment „if Madara is still able to attempt a comeback, maybe we shouldn't assume he was defeated in the first place."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Tanita Tikaram<em>

_At this point I must confess that, even though I really like Tenten and Neji, I don't know if I'm writing them properly, right and in-character_


	47. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

**Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood**

It shouldn't have surprised her, Sakura thought as she hurried through the Academy's gates, that Kakashi's alarm was delibaretly set one houre late. Still, she couldn't bring herself to be angry with him. Not after last night. She had asked him, before she left, if he wanted to take the day off, but of course he declined, told her he'd just need a couple of minutes on his own and no, she shouldn't wait.

Sakura went straight for the hawkery, where she was greeted by a few comments about how she would, one day, become the worst Hokage in existance if she kept on accumulating her predecessors' bad habits.  
>„As if I'd ever be Hokage", Sakura shook her head, then took the box containing the letters and messages that had arrived over night to the office.<br>The first letter she opened came from the Raikage, who asked for number and nature of genin-teams Konoha was to send to the Chunin-Exams in two months.  
>„So they managed to rebuild their village in time", Sakura smiled. She hadn't seen it, but from all she had heard the destruction Madara had caused in Kumogakure had been far more devestating than Pain's impact on Konoha. Something that Sakura found hard to imagine.<br>Her thoughts were interupted by a knock at the door, and shortly afterwards Kurenai entered.  
>„Actually", she said when Sakura asked her what she needed „I wanted to talk to Kakashi."<br>Sakura pointed at the clock hanging on the wall.  
>„Then you shouldn't have bothered coming here this early", she said with a wry smile.<br>„Anything _I_ can do for you?"  
>Kurenai was just about to answer, when suddenly the door burst open.<p>

Before Sakura had the chance to say a single word, Kiba had pulled her out of her chair and pinned against the glassfront, ignoring his former teacher's attempts to call him off.  
>„You were with Kakashi", he snarled. The window handle pressed against Sakura's shoulder and made her winced. She knew, she could send him flying right through the office's wall, but she didn't feel like she had the right to do so.<br>„I – I didn't...", she stammered instead.  
>„DON'T lie to me. I saw you leaving."<br>Sakura couldn't remember if she had ever seen him this angry. This hurt.  
>„I had to retrieve some documents from his study", she somehow managed to make it sound at least somehwat convincing.<br>„I said, don't lie to me!", Kiba yelled at her. He sounded as if he was on the verge of crying.  
>„His smell is all over you."<br>„Kiba...", this was Kurenai, who had placed both her hands on his shoulders.  
>„I'm sure there's a simple explana-"<br>„Of course there is!", he spun around, challenging all his anger at Kurenai who jumped aside just in time. Kiba crashed into the next shelf, sending files and folders flying to the ground.  
>„You know, I get it now", he turned back to Sakura.<br>„It's him you wanted all along! You only settled with me, because you figured you'd never have him -"  
>„Kiba, I -"<br>„No, it's fine", his voice cracked with anger and tears.  
>„I hope you're happy, now that you're with someone – someone like him", and with that he stormed out of the office, door banging shut behind him.<p>

It took Sakura a few seconds to process what just had happened. Then her fist landed crashing in the desk, and just as the furniture broke in two, scattered scrolls and envelopes all over the floor, Sakura broke down on her knees and into tears.  
>„Hey", Kurenai squatted down beside her „I'm sure it's going to be alright."<br>„How can you say that?", Sakura sobbed.  
>„Because I know Kiba. Just talk to him once he has calmed down."<br>Sakura sniffed, she nodded, then looked around and took in the state of the office.

„How am I going to explain this to Kakashi?", she groaned.  
>„How are you going to explain what?"<br>Sakura looked up. There he was, always late but still right on time, standing in the doorway, while his Ninken were already inspecting the scene, sniffed at loose pages and splintered wood.  
>„Kakashi – I ..."<br>„You know, I really liked my office the way it was."  
>„I'm sorry", Sakura mumbled, scrambled back to her feet and weakly began collecting the scattered files. Kakashi watched her, seemingly oblivious of the tears streaming down her cheeks.<br>„Aren't you going to tell me what happened?", he asked cooly.  
>Sakura shook her head, teeth clenched. She picked up a folder and slammed it back in its place, causing the shelf to crack under the impact.<br>„If you're just going to wreck this place, I think you'd better go", Kakashi didn't rebuke her, in fact – or at least in Sakura's perception – he did not seem to be interested in what she was doing at all, as long as she didn't do it here. With a huff she tossed the file she had just picked up in his direction and left.

Once Sakura was gone Kakashi turned to Kurenai, who stood behind his trashed desk, her arms folded.  
>„Did I do something wrong?", he asked.<br>For a second Kurenai considered to answer his question, but then decided that she had known him long enough to know that it was a waste of time to try and explain to Kakashi the art of tactfulness. Furhter more, if anything of what Kiba had claimed was true – which she found hard to believe but not entirely impossible – she didn't know where to begin with her reply.  
>„I need to talk to you", she simply stated.<br>„Aren't you still on leave?"  
>„You make it sound as if having a child was some kind of illness. It's about Shikamaru", Kurenai said before Kakashi could delve into the differences between sick- and maternity leave.<br>She had his attention there, and, after learning that he had not yet spoken with Sai, recounted yesterday's events.  
>„I think", she concluded „Shikamaru knows things Madara didn't want him to communicate."<br>There was a pause. Both of them knew that, should this be the case, it wasn't without a reason that Shikamaru was still alive.  
>„If that is so", Kakashi eventually said, chosing his words carefully „we should reconsider the option of having his mind read."<br>„No!", Kurenai shook her head „I wont let that happen."  
>„If there is no chance of recovery-"<br>„We have no idea what kind of danger it might pose to him or his interrogators!"  
>„We have no idea what kind of danger it might pose to <em>everyone<em> if we don't find out what he knows!", Kakashi replied, less calm than usual.  
>Kurenai just stared at him, angry disbelieve written all over her face, until he sighed, turned to look outside the window instead.<br>„I'll send a request for assistance to the other villages", he said. And after a moment added:  
>„I'm sorry – I should have done this long ago."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Nina Simone <em>

_Actually I really feel kind of sorry for Kiba. And Sakura. And Kakashi. And Kurenai. And Shikamaru.  
>Like I said before, I empathise far too much while writing...<em>

_In other news, I'll be gone for roughly a week - so there wont be any updates. _  
><em>At least I managed not to end up with too much of a cliffhanger.<em> 


	48. Cannot Contain This

**Cannot Contain This**

Sakura's first instinct was to seek out Ino and tell her – not everything, obviously, but most of it. The problem was, she couldn't come up with any reasonable excuse for her staying with Kakashi. Even if she told Ino about Madara – there was no way she could tell her what had happened last night.  
>She should just go back to the office, do her work, but the pure thought of Kakashi's unconcerned face, or general appearance, made her want to put a hole in the next wall.<br>In the end and after a long, hot shower, she went to the village's archive. After all there was still research that needed to be done.

She might as well have asked the librarian for instructions on Tensei Ninjutsu, judging by the look the elder woman gave her.  
>„There is no such thing as Chakra-Assimilation", she said, shook her head and peered at the young kunoichi over the rim of her glasses. This was supposed to be Tsunade-sama's praised student, she thought, the girl of which was said that she might even surpass the Godaime? How could she not be aware of the most basic rule of medical jutsu?<br>„I know", Sakura gave the librarian an impatient smile. „But at some point _someone_ must have researched this, right? Or else we wouldn't know that it's impossible."  
>The librarian took off her glasses and rubbed them against her sleeve. She had never thought about it this way. To her it had always been an unquestionable truth that no one could assimilate chakra. It was the reason why chakra-depletion couldn't be helped by anything but the patient's own regenerative power; you couldn't transplant chakra. You could invade someone elses body or mind with it, could manipulate theirs – but you couldn't turn your own chakra into someone else's.<br>„Well, there are documents on Chakra Absorption Techniques..."  
>„Anything!", Sakura bellowed. She immediatly felt bad for letting her mood out on the poor librarian, but really – why had this woman to be so stubborn?<br>She watched over the counter as the librarian let the computer search the database, watched three reference numbers showing up on the display, and waited as patiently as her current mood admitted, while the librarian went to get the documents.  
>She came back with two files. The first concerened the theory behind Chakra Absorption, the second documented one futile attempt to develope a technique of Chakra Transplantation.<br>„What about the third file?", Sakura asked when the librarian handed her the clipboard to sign for checking out these documents.  
>„That's classified", the elder woman answered shortly.<br>Sakura looked at her, eye twitching.  
>„I'll need to see the Hokage's written permit then", the woman said with the smile of one who had little power but enjoyed using it, if offered a chance.<br>„You know who I am, right?", Sakura hissed.  
>„I don't care if you are his assistant, Sakura-san", the librarian replied with professional politeness „You could be his daughter, or his girlfriend for all I care – I'll need to see a written permit here."<p>

On her way home Sakura passed the hospital. She stopped. While she was here she should check on Rin again, she thought. If the girl was found fit for interrogation, regardless of her state of conciousness, it would raise too many questions. As she walked down the corridor, she was met by the nurse who had shown her to Rin's room when she first came here.  
>„Sakura-sama", the girl bowed her head.<br>Sakura's cheeks turned the same pink as her hair as she nodded her head in reply.  
>„I'm sorry", the girl quickly added, blushing herself. She fumbled with the buttons of her white coat.<br>„I j-just went to check on", she gestured towards Rin's room.  
>„I d-don't know how, b-but she – she greatly improved s-since yesterday. Sh-she might even w-wake up within the next – next d-days."<br>Sakura's eyes widened, but luckily the girl was too busy staring at Sakura's shoes to notice.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Moloko<em>

_Why, you may ask, do they have a fourteen year old girl look after a murder-suspect? Well, that's the shinobi-world for you! (And not, by no means, an unattentive author...)_

Also, you may have noticed – I'm not gone yet. This is because I had to postpone my journey until tuesday... On the bright side, this means there probably will be one more update tomorrow.


	49. Have To Drive

**Have To Drive**

The only good thing about this day so far had been the relief expressed by the Council, when Kakashi informed them that he would have the team currently investigating Yugao's murder withdraw, as they obviously were not able to do their job properly. The elders greatly approved of this and were more than happy to learn that the new investigation team would be led by Hyuga Neji.  
>Back in his office Kakashi found the room crowded with people (three of them, which was a crowd) he apparently had ordered to clean up the mess Kiba and Sakura had caused.<br>He turned on his heels.  
>Maybe – maybe he should have just taken Sakura's advice and the day off. Maybe he should have let her smash his office completely, if only to give him a good excuse for not being there.<br>He left the Academy, not knowing where he was headed, walked around aimlessly for some time. This was possibly the one great advantage of being the Hokage. If you just managed to appear somewhat preoccupied, no one would dare to assume you really were just killing time.  
>(Which the Rokudaime found to be of little use, as it was close to impossible to appear preoccupied with your nose buried in a book.)<p>

He ended up on one of the plateaus, sat down on a bench, in the shadow of some tree and with a clear view of the Hokage Monument; he looked at his own masked face, before he turned his gaze to that of the Yondaime, who stared back, optimistic determination burning in his eyes, even as they were cast in cold stone. He had been younger then, than Kakashi was now.  
>„For second there I thought I was doing alright", Kakashi sighed.<br>„Well", Pakkun jumped up the bench „I'd say you're still doing fine."  
>He placed two paws on Kakashi's leg.<br>„Considering that this is the first time you can't just hand all responsibilities down to others."  
>Kakashi gave the dog an unimpressed look.<br>„I'll just assume this sounded a lot more comforting in your head", he said, while his fingers dug their way under Pakkun's hitai-ate.  
>„No", the dog stated dryly.<br>„However", he quickly added, as the pleasant scratching of his head stopped „I suppose, cleverly avoiding your responsibilities by dividing them among your subordinates might be one of the best qualities a leader can have."  
>„Hm"<br>„Speaking of which", with that the dog tore himself away from his human and jumped back to the ground „We're about to get company."  
>And indeed, a few seconds later Sakura came jogging up the stairs.<p>

„You're awfully hard to find", she panted, as she sat down next to Kakashi.  
>„Apparently not", the words were swallowed by the fabric of his mask before they reached Sakura's ears.<br>„I've got bad news", she said.  
>„Or, rather, I've got good news that will cause a lot of trouble, so -", Sakura stopped talking, as Kakashi's right hand suddenly grasped for her arm.<br>He bent over, left hand clasped over his left eye and obviously trying hard not to voice the pain in his head, but before Sakura had so much as gotten to her feet, the attack had already stopped.  
>„It's okay", Kakashi let go of her, and slowly returned to his original slouched position.<br>„It's me."  
>„Well, you would say that", Sakura looked at him, her eyes narrowed. In case of a possession, they had concluded, the headaches would last much longer, she reminded herself. Still, she needed to be sure.<br>„Tell me, what did you get me for my chunin-promotion?"  
>Kakashi stared at her, wide-eyed.<br>„Your...", his hands sank „When was that again?"  
>Sakura sighed, gave him one last, careful look.<br>„You know, you look kind of cute when you're caught off-guard", she smiled and then, with professional concern, asked how he felt.  
>„Alright, I guess", Kakashi shrugged, though he still looked a little confused.<br>„You said something about bad news?"

Sakura told him about Rin's sudden recovery. She noticed his slouch getting a little more hunched as she talked, could see, even through his mask, how he clenched and unclenched his teeth.  
>„So, what are we going to do?", she looked at him expectantly and in a way that had Kakashi waiting for a needily wailed <em>sensei<em> to follow her question. He scratched his head, gave her a contemplative „Hmm...", while his thoughts, instead of the problem at hand, revolved around the ease with which she, occasionally, could switch back to acting like a child. He couldn't even tell if he found it annoying or not – it just puzzled him.  
>„What would you suggest we do?", he asked at last, watched as Sakura's eyes grew a little bigger and her hand went up to nervously tug her hair.<br>„I... I don't know. I guess, we need to get her out of the hospital, and somewhere safe. Somewhere, where no one would think to look", she said slowly, then paused, seemingly waiting for approval. Kakashi nodded, beckoned her to continue.  
>„I guess, I could get her ready for transport...", she thought for moment. When she continued talking, she sounded less insecure.<br>„Tenten should be able to bring any equipment I'll need out of the hospital easily", she said „And for actually getting her out – Neji probably could cover you, but I'd leave that part to you and Sai, as you two clearly are the ones most skilled at – why are you staring at me like that?"  
>„No reason"<br>Though the small, visible part of his face showed little of it, his voice suggested a smile. For a second their eyes met, then Sakura quickly turned away.  
>„What do <em>you<em> think?", she returned to tugging her hair, stared at her toes that were drawing random patterns in the sand.  
>Kakashi got up. He looked at the sun, currently hiding behind some clouds, then back at Sakura.<br>„What time is it?"  
>„About three", she said after checking her watch.<br>„Right, then the others should be waiting for us."

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Amanda Palmer<em>

_I have no idea if I really understand this song. On some days I think, yes, on others I have no idea.  
>Either way, I'm happy I can leave you with this, a chapter I really like and greatly enjoyed writing.<br>I'll be back next week, if nothing unforeseen gets in my way – and then there will be:  
>Finally some sneaky action (unless I chicken out and find some clever way to work around it), at least one more flashback-chapter, more hinted pairings from before this story (there already was one, but I'll let you figure that out yourself), more emotional confusion, finally some romance, revelations and possibly some bloodshed.<em>

_Thank you all so far for reading, adding the story to your favourites and/or alerts and most of all for your reviews! Even if I don't always reply, they mean a lot to me and hearing what you think really helps me a lot with writing this story!_


	50. I'll Fall With Your Knife

**I'll fall with your knife**

When Tenten drew back Rin's blanket she, despite herself, let out a short squeal as her fingers came to touch something soft and wet and squishy.  
>"I'm sorry, Tenten-san", Katsuyu apologised. It crept from its hiding-place next to Rin up to her chest, where it froze, optical tentacles half withdrawn, sensory tentacles moving ever so slightly.<br>Tenten turned to Neji, who stood beside her.  
>"I didn't know Sakura could do this", she whispered, but he was too busy scanning their surroundings to reply.<br>"Sai's ready", he said instead of an answer, then looked – his Byakugan still activated – at Katsuyu, who gave the slug-equivalent of a nod (that is, bowing all four of its tentacles).  
>"You've got about five minutes", it said and a soft green light started to emit from its body. Tenten reached for the switch to turn off the machines plugged into Rin, while Neji opened the window where, just as he did so, an unreal black-and-white stretcher was let down from the roof.<br>They had the easy part, Tenten thought to herself, as she and Neji removed all cables from Rin's body and heaved her out of the window and on to Sai's stretcher.  
>They followed, as the unconscious girl was lifted up to the roof, outside, mounted one of the two flying beasts Sai had drawn to life, thoughtfully provided with black underbellies, to make them invisible against the black night-sky.<p>

oOo

"They are ready", Katsuyu announced, and Sakura felt her knees trembling and her hands getting sweaty.  
>In theory Tsunade-Sama had explained the technique to her, and in theory Sakura had found it quite easy to understand. Because in theory, Sakura knew, she was quite, if not extraordinarily, good at understanding things. The problem was, had always been, to translate such theoretical knowledge to its practical use, and while Sakura no longer allowed her self doubt to suggest that this shortcoming might render her unfit for the life of a kunoichi, in this instant it made her feel squeamishly nervous.<br>"You'll be fine", the slug sitting on her shoulder whispered in its soft voice, yet Sakura turned to Kakashi – she wasn't sure what she expected or wanted him to say, some words of confirmation maybe, but he just stared at her with a curious expression of unfazed astonishment.  
>"Anything I can do to help?", he eventually asked.<br>Sakura thought for a moment. She had set up everything to take care of Rin, once she safely arrived at the Hokage's Residence, and even though she knew that if he was to back her up she might be able to remotely stabilise the girl for a few additional minutes, she shook her head.  
>"You just stay yourself, while we do this", she said. For a fleeting moment something flickered in his eyes – it had been he himself who had insisted that he wouldn't be a part of this, the risk of Madara taking possession of him posed too much of a threat, yet he couldn't stand to just idly sit by. Sakura understood this, still she continued to gently shove him out of the room.<br>"It'll be fine", she reassured him, masking her own uncertainty.  
>Kakashi looked at her, and for a split second she felt the urge to just hold him, for a split second she thought he might break down there and then; He didn't, of course.<br>Instead he let his eye take on its impossibly optimistic crescent form, raised one invisible wall of aloof unconcern that canceled out all of Sakura's affection, placed his hand on her slug-free shoulder and nodded a few times.  
>"I'm sure it will", he said, then left her alone.<br>Once the door had closed behind him, Katsuyu turned its eyes to Sakura.  
>"You could have asked him to support you", the slug politely pointed out.<br>"No", Sakura shook her head.  
>"I've never done this before", she said "If I screw up, I want it to be my fault and my fault alone."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Peter Murphy.<br>__Not so sneaky, and not so much action. I had some ideas that would have added a few explosives to the whole thing – but it didn't seem to work that well. On the other hand, nothing in Naruto is ever __sneaky, but conjuring up random opponents, just to have the characters shout out some battle-cries just didn't feel too fitting here either._

_Anyway. I'm back! I hope I didn't lose any readers due to my absence, and I hope you'll enjoy what I came up with during my time away.  
>As always, all reviews and comments, speculations or death-threats are more than welcome! <em>


	51. Brother Sleep

**Brother Sleep**

They had just landed smoothly on the Residence's roof, when Katsuyu warned them to hurry.  
>„I'm not sure how much longer Sakura can keep it up", the slug said.<br>As fast as they could they carried the unconscious Rin inside, down the corridor, met halfway with Kakashi, who guided them along. They placed her on the bed, attached the machines, that Tenten previously had smuggled out of the hospital, to provide life-support under Katsuyu's guidance, while Sakura sat in one corner, cross-legged and deep in concentration.  
>As soon as they were done she opened her eyes, undid the seal her hands had formed.<br>„Did it work?", she asked slightly out of breath. She got to her feet, staggered as she went to Rin – immediately a number of hands were there to support her – to see if everything was in order.  
>It was. It had worked, she thought, they had made it in time. She smiled, wanted to compliment the others on their good work, but gray clouds already started to close in on her vision.<br>Sakura could not recall if she had ever felt this exhausted, and somewhere in the back of her head she remembered – she had always imagined it to be painful or at least unpleasant. Right now, however, it was the most beautiful experience; As if the world itself reached out for her with its ancient, eternal hands, wrapped her in a deep and dark embrace and whispered in her ear, everything was going to be fine, because now she could come home, where she belonged, where she could be nothing but herself – free and at peace and with no other purpose than to just be.

When Sakura regained consciousness all sense of peace and contentment was gone and forgotten. The only thing she now felt was cold, indescribably cold. She wasn't quite sure where she was, or how she had come to be here, a constant buzzing in her ears made it impossible to hear anything around her, the cold canceled out any sense for her surrounding. Sakura tried to move, but she could not even feel her arms or legs, couldn't even open her eyes. She tried to scream, but – like the rest of her body – her vocal cords too did not obey her.  
>Maybe, she wondered, this wasn't her body at all. Maybe she had died and now was nothing but a disembodied soul floating in endless nothingness.<br>No. This had to be her body. She felt her heart rate increase as panic took hold of her. For a short moment the adrenalin rushing through her veins allowed her to move, if only a little, to give a half strangled moan.  
>Somewhere, faraway behind the veil of white noise, she heard someone say her name, felt hands placed on her shoulders. The touch's warmth soothed her, calmed her down until, eventually, she drifted back into a semiconscious state.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: JJ72<em>

_Hm_. _I have a feeling I'm about to get stuck soon.. maybe this is because of the recent break, or maybe I'm really heading for a dead end._  
><em>Now, any questions you may have, anything that needs further explanation or that you want to learn more about etc. - please tell me! I think this might help me figure out how to continue from here :)<em>


	52. Boys Don't Cry

**Boys Don't Cry**

Between all those flowers, bouquets and potted plants Kiba felt a little lost. Even though he had come here to see her, he had not really expected to meet Ino behind the counter. Far less to be greeted with a cheerful hello and the question, if he was buying flowers for Sakura.  
>"I thought she'd left the village to run some errands for Kakashi."<br>"She what – ?", Kiba's eyes widened in surprise.  
>"Tenten told me. But shouldn't you know this stuff? I mean, she's your girlfriend, right?"<br>Kiba shifted his weight uncomfortably, scratched his head.  
>"Can I ask you something?"<br>Ino nodded. Her fine, plugged eyebrows already raised in anticipation for what ever gossip she might learn.  
>"You, uhm... I mean, you're her best friend, so you probably would know..."<br>"Know what?", Ino leaned further in Kiba's direction, who looked around to make sure that they were alone.  
>"Do you... think she's having an affair with Kakashi?"<br>For a moment Ino was stunned, then she blinked a few times and then she burst into laughter.  
>"Seriously?"<br>Kiba shrugged – he wondered what had possessed him to even think about asking Ino for advice – turned to leave, but before he reached the shop's exit, Ino had rushed past him and blocked his way.  
>"You're coming with me", she announced. With one swift movement she turned the shops sign to closed, locked the door and placed one arm around Kiba to push him out of the store and into the living house.<p>

"Where's Shikamaru?", Kiba asked while Ino pushed him into the living room and onto a sofa.  
>"With Choji"<br>"Choji's back?", this information made Kiba momentarily forget about the original reason for his visit – instead he let Ino tell him everything she knew about Choji's time away from the village and his return.  
>"Hey, then your team's the only one that's still complete!", he said when she had finished.<br>"Right", Ino glared at him "Except for Asuma-sensei and Shikamaru's brains"  
>Kiba didn't know what to answer, mumbled an apology, but Ino seemingly forgot about his remark within seconds.<br>"Now, what on earth makes you think Sakura and Kakashi...?"  
>Again Kiba shrugged.<br>"I saw her leaving his place the other day."  
>"So?", Ino shrugged "She's his assistant."<br>"In the morning."  
>"Maybe she had to get some super-important documents. I mean, you know how likely it is for Kakashi to show up early.."<br>"That's what she said", Kiba sighed.  
>There was something deeply fascinating about boys, about young men, when they were fighting back their tears, Ino thought. And while one part of her wanted to slap Kiba in the face and tell him to man up, another part of her actually enjoyed the intimate weirdness of the situation.<br>"His smell was all over her", he said, his voice hardly more than a whisper.  
>Ino shook her head. Sakura would have told her. And even if she had decided to keep her liaison with the Hokage a secret – Ino would have known! There was no way she could have missed this!<br>"Besides", she concluded "He's like twice her age!"  
>"So?", Kiba didn't seem to find much comfort in this.<br>"He's the fucking Hokage. And he's got that whole... I don't know … too cool to care thing going on. He's like a grown up Sasuke. Of course Sakura'd be all over him."  
>"He's not like a grown up Sasuke", Ino laughed nervously.<br>"And - If he was one to maintain love-affairs he wouldn't have to read his porn all the time. Ever thought about that?"  
>"No", Kiba shook his head "Actually I never gave much thought to his sex life."<br>"Neither did I", Ino quickly replied, her cheeks turning a delicate pink.  
>"Obviously", she added.<br>"I guess I'm just that kind of guy...", Kiba slumped back into the sofa's cushions and sighed. Ino wrapped one arm around his shoulders, placed her other hand on his knee.  
>"That perfect-boyfriend kind of guy?", she asked.<br>Kiba looked at her, his brows furrowed, then brushed her arms and hands aside and got up.  
>"Sure you don't want to stay?", Ino called after him.<br>"No", Kiba let her lead him to the door where they said good bye.  
>"If you need someone to -", she started but got interrupted as Choji came running down the street and towards them – pale and out of breath and his lower lip trembling.<br>"I-", he stammered.  
>"I lost – I lost Shikamaru."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Cure<em>

_Ino... *shakes head*  
><em>


	53. Sway

**Sway**

When Sakura finally awoke the evening sun was seeping through the blinds. For some time she just stared up at the wood-paneled ceiling. Her whole body felt numb, yet she was able to move. She raised one hand, slowly, watched her fingers bend with the weirdest sensation that this was not her hand at all, but someone else's that just happened to move exactly as she wanted it to. She vaguely remembered reading about this as one common symptom during the recovery from chakra-depletion; the second she had diagnosed this, her memories returned and she sat upright in bed – only to have her head spin and her vision blur.  
>"Yo", something kept her from falling back, but it wasn't until Sakura reopened her eyes and looked that she realised two arms wrapped around her and a shot of gray hair at the edge of her field of vision.<br>"Hey", she replied. She allowed her weight to rest against Kakashi's embrace – even though she couldn't really feel him, just knowing that he was there, seeing his fingers stroke her arm, had a calming effect. This was his bedroom, she noticed, and was startled by the strange familiarity the room already had for her.  
>"How's Rin?", to Sakura's amazement the words didn't come out slurred, just a little hoarse.<br>"Still unconscious, but fine. Katsuyu tells me."  
>Good, Sakura thought. She closed her eyes once more, tried to concentrate, thought – for a second – that she could feel Kakashi touch her. When she opened her eyes again she found herself leaning against the wall at the bed's head, while Kakashi stood by his desk, his back turned towards her.<br>"You should be with her", Sakura said, then wondered if she had merely thought it or if Kakashi deliberately ignored her.  
>"Kakashi?", she did her best to speak loud and clear "You should be looking after Rin, not me."<br>Still she got no reply. She shook her head, noticed that this was an extraordinarily weird experience if you couldn't actually feel your head shaking, and then continued to watch her fingers move, seemingly on their own and independent of herself.  
>"You'll get used to it."<br>Sakura turned her head to see Kakashi sitting next to her on the bed, in his hands he held a bowl containing a brownish liquid. Sakura wrinkled her nose in disgust – or at least she thought about wrinkling her nose, she couldn't tell if she really did.  
>"You know, I've got strawberry-flavoured nutriments at my place."<br>"You wont taste much anyway", Kakashi shrugged.  
>He was right, Sakura found out as she drank; then again, she thought, when it came to chakra-depletion Kakashi probably was far more of an expert than any medic.<br>"How long does this last?", she asked, once she curled up under her blanket again.  
>"Hmm, if you don't run around much – two more days?"<br>"Two more...", Sakura repeated. "How long was I -?"  
>"Three days"<br>Sakura's eyes widened, she tried to get up again, but Kakashi held her down. Everything was fine, he assured her. Officially she was currently on some secret mission for him, and no one expected her to be back within the week.  
>"I should be looking after Rin", Sakura protested.<br>"I told you, she's fine."  
>"But..."<br>"You should worry about yourself, right?", she could see his hand reach out to brush one streak of hair out of her face and for a second wondered why he never did things like this when she was able to actually feel it.  
>"Right", Sakura sighed, "but I'm fine now. I just need to rest and I think I can do that on my own. So you can be there for her, when she wakes up."<br>She reached up for Kakashi's hand, which was – as far as she could tell – still nestling in her hair. Immediately he pulled away.  
>"I guess I can't even begin to understand how weird this must be, for both of you", Sakura said. She watched Kakashi look away, watched him press his fingers against his masked lips.<br>"I haven't even lived as long as she has been dead", she said.  
>"But I think she deserves to have someone looking after her who she knows...", Sakura paused, waited for Kakashi to say something in reply, but he didn't.<br>"You know, I was going to say that I never knew you had such a caring side to you. But right now I'm not sure, if you're not just looking after me because you're too scared to face her."  
>Had Sakura been able to feel any of her muscles, she would probably have felt them cramp all at once as Kakashi turned to look at her again, but the only thing readable from his expression was his usual sort of contemplative disinterest.<br>He got up, then shrugged.  
>"I suppose you're right", he sighed, scratched his head, made a few indecisive steps towards the door then stopped.<br>"If I come home before... you'll tell me, right?"  
>For a second Sakura looked at him confused, but once she understood she nodded, watched him shuffle out of the room. She had wondered why his ninken weren't around, had wanted to ask him why he wasn't at the Academy she thought, but now it sort of made sense. Somewhere between the question if Kakashi really would not have been here with her, had he not tried to avoid looking after Rin, and a slight feeling of guilt for sending him away, somewhere between these thoughts Sakura decided – as soon as she was back on her feet again, she'd get Kakashi to teach her how to use Kage Bunshin.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Bic Runga.<br>Hmmm... Having two semi-/unconcsious girls recovering at your house...  
>I'm sure Jiraiya would have been able to write a whole novel about this. (I had planned to suggest some kinky title here, but I can't think of anything good...)<br>_


	54. And All That Could Have Been

**And All That Could Have Been**

For a second Kakashi considered to disperse his shadow clone, to post-pone seeing Rin until his real self would return from another day of paper-work and quarrels with the Elders. But, he thought, letting his head rest against the wood-paneled wall, Sakura was right. Rin should have someone waiting for her when she woke up. Someone she knew – someone human.  
>Kakashi released the seal securing the hidden doorway, one unsuspicious looking wood-panel sprang back, and he went inside, re-sealing the door behind him. Even though he knew he shouldn't, he felt greatly relieved when he saw that Rin was still unconscious, when she did not react in any way as he sat down next to her bed and somewhat reluctantly took hold of her hand.<br>He was grateful when Katsuyu, instead of lecturing him for his apparent lack of concern for Rin, enquired about Sakura's well-being.  
>"Should I leave you alone, Kakashi-sama?", the slug offered when he had assured her that Sakura was fine. Kakashi thought about this, then slowly shook his head.<br>He looked at Rin's fingers – no one had bothered to cut her nails during the month she had lain in a coma, he noticed. He remembered that while she had never been especially girlish, her hands had always been perfectly manicured. With nails just about long enough to leave marks, if she decided to use them.  
>She had seemed so much older back then, Kakashi thought, while his eye wandered to her not-yet-sixteen years old face that by now had come to look more alive than dead again. Although, admittedly, back when he himself had been fourteen Kakashi had not yet stopped to just naturally assume that everyone was older than him. He shook his head and returned his attention to Rin's unconscious form.<p>

Had he been one to easily shriek he would have done so, but as it was he simply blinked a little surprised when he realised that during the time he had spent in reminiscence Rin had opened her eyes.  
>"Ka..kashi", she moved two fingers, pressed them against the palm if his hand.<br>Kakashi found himself speechless, he turned to Katsuyu, suspected that right now he looked just as helpless and confused as he felt, but wasn't able to do anything against it.  
>"How are you feeling, Rin-san?", the slug slowly crept onto Rin's chest and into her direct field of vision. At its sight Rin relaxed. If Tsunade-sama's summon was here, she was safe...<br>"I... don't know", she closed her eyes, and for a second Kakashi hoped (even though he wouldn't admit this) she had passed out again.  
>"I thought I died", her eyes sprung open. She sat up, so suddenly that Katsuyu, caught off guard, tumbled from her and onto the mattress.<br>"I have to talk to Minato-sensei!", she exclaimed, struggled as Kakashi took hold of her to prevent her from getting out of bed  
>"He needs to know-", she stopped talking, stopped struggling, froze in Kakashi's grasp and just stared at him.<br>"Wh-what happened to you?", her hand rose to touch the rim of his mask.  
>"Kakashi?", Rin swallowed "This <em>is <em>you, right?"  
>Kakashi nodded. He should say something, he knew, but there was a lump in his throat that kept any words from forming.<br>"What happened?", her voice was losing its steadiness again, and Kakashi could feel her getting heavier in his arms as her muscles refused to keep her in this sitting position any longer. He helped her lay down, kept her hand in his when she sank back into her pillows. Her breath slowed down, and her pulse returned to its normal rate.  
>"Nine... nineteen years..."<br>"I... don't understand", Rin shook her head weakly, tried to fasten her grip on his hand.  
>"You've been dead.. for nineteen years", Kakashi stopped looking at her, instead stared up at the ceiling.<br>"That's not true", Rin tried to prop herself up on one elbow, but found that even this was too much of an effort in her current condition. She shook her head, squeezed Kakashi's hand as good as she could in an attempt to get him to look at her again. He didn't.  
>She turned to Katsuyu, who moved its sensory tentacles in a gesture of sympathy that got lost on the human.<br>"It is, Rin-san", the slug said, its voice calm and soothing and polite, and leaving no room for doubt.  
>Rin's hand slipped from Kakashi's fingers, hid beneath her blanket. She stared at him, shook her head a few times, tried to blink back the tears that were already streaming down her cheeks.<br>"Can – can you leave me alone, please?", she asked but got no reply.  
>"Rin... I...", at last Kakashi tore his eye from the ceiling to look at her, reached out to touch her but she slapped his hand aside as if it was some kind of insect.<br>"Don't touch me!", she screamed, glared at him.  
>Kakashi opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything to say. He did not quite understand what he had done to have her react the way that she did. Carefully he placed his hand on her shoulder, only to have her crawl deeper under her sheets.<br>"Leave me alone!", she cried.  
>"Rin... let me – just –"<br>"I said, leave me alone!", by now she squeezed herself against the wall, curled up to one ball.  
>She lowered her blanket, just enough to allow her to see Kakashi standing in front of her bed, his shoulders hunched, his hands buried in his pocket and doing his best to appear as if he couldn't care less about what was going on. At least this hadn't changed, she thought.<br>"I'm sorry", she tried to say, but as the tears ebbed away hiccups had come to replace the sobbing.  
>"I can't see you", she said, wasn't surprised in the least when he didn't even bother to argue with this, when he just shrugged, nodded, mumbled that he understood and then disappeared into thin air.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Nine Inch Nails.<em>

_Thank you all for your recent feedback! I plan to reply to you all individually, but things are rather busy for me right now.  
>So, in case I wont manage, here's a big "Thank You!" for all of you!<br>You really helped me a lot and, thanks to you, now I know where I'm going for at least the next four or five chapters... and from then things will just follow logically. I hope ^^_


	55. Empty Skies

**Empty Skies**

It was one of the last evenings that still deserved to be called summer. The setting sun cast the forest in gold, let spiderwebs shimmer like ghosts and the birds evening-songs sound like religious chants, as if they wanted to say good-bye to the leaves that soon would fall.  
>"You sure he went this way?", Ino grabbed Kiba's sleeve as he led them deeper into the thickets.<br>Kiba ignored her. The past thirty minutes she had alternated between lecturing Choji, for letting Shikamaru run off in the first place, and questioning Kiba's tracking-abilities, and he really wished she'd stop talking all together, or at least talk about something different. About the weather, for example.  
>"I mean, you're no longer-"<br>He grit his teeth, did his best to focus on the sounds of his surroundings to blend out Ino's voice, but before she had a chance to end this sentence she was interrupted by Choji, who spoke uncommonly firm and demanding:  
>"Ino – Just shut up!"<br>She stopped, stared at Choji in disbelief and as intimidating as she could (which was quite intimidating, actually). This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Choji wasn't supposed to talk back at her. Most of all, he wasn't supposed to stand his ground after doing so.  
>"Come on", he said to Kiba, completely ignoring her"Let's find Shikamaru before it gets dark."<br>And then the two of them strode away, leaving a perplexed Ino behind.  
>"Boys...", she shook her head. A few times. Then hurried after them.<p>

It took only a short sprint for Ino to catch up with said boys, who stood in a wide clearing, just stood there and looked at the hill that rose in front of them.  
>"What are you waiting for?", she called out but went silent the second she landed with her feet back on the ground and a few steps ahead of Choji and Kiba. She involuntarily shivered, had to swallow hard to fight back the urge to turn on her heels and run away. Something was watching her... She remembered how she had used to cover the mirror in her room each night before going to bed, had only stopped doing so a few years ago. Just because of some silly ghost-story she had heard once about her reflection stealing her soul and trapping it in the mirror-world while she slept. Right now she felt exactly as she had every night, for years, while making sure that there was not the tiniest bit of reflective surface left visible.<br>"I think", Kiba whispered – he sounded just as frightened as Ino felt "He's in there."  
>He pointed at an openging gaping in the side of the hill.<br>"You mean, we have to go in?", Choji asked.  
>Ino breathed deep, forced herself to calm down. She threw a glance over her shoulder and at her two companions, who stood frozen.<br>"Right then, let's go!", she ordered, as bossy as one can while feeling like a scared five-year-old, but still waited for the boys to move first before she took one step in the cave's direction.

Shikamaru cowered on the far side of the cave, hands pressed together and brows furrowed deep in thought. He peered at the circular pattern that covered the floor, let his narrowed eyes wander to take in every detail of it. His lips moved silently and from time to time he shook his head.  
>He didn't notice the three figures that stepped inside, blocked the remaining sunlight that leaked through the cave's entrance and cast long shadows over the stone floor.<br>"What is this place?"  
>Kiba sniffed. There was definitely something odd about this cave, not to mention something seriously scary.<br>"I have no idea", Ino hissed back. She looked down at her feet where illegible symbols formed something resembling a summoning circle.  
>"And I'm not sure if I want to find out", she added, braced herself and stepped deeper inside the cave while Kiba and Choji stood back at its entrance.<br>As she crossed the room, just for a second, she thought she heard someone calling her name, but the voice was gone as suddenly as it came, and then she had already reached Shikamaru, who finally looked up at her.  
>"When did you get here?", he asked.<br>"Just now", Ino gave her best to sound patient and calm instead of frightened and irritated.  
>Shikamaru gave her a crooked smile, then reached out to touch her hair.<br>"I liked it short better", he told her, waited for her to talk back, but Ino just sighed, let her head hang.  
>"Shikamaru", she said, the patience in her voice ebbing away.<br>"Look at me! That's right, look at me", she took hold of his chin and forced his eyes to meet hers.  
>"I'm Ino. Troublesome Ino, remember?"<br>Shikamaru blinked a few times, visibly confused. Then he frowned and told her that yes, of course he know who she was and really, there was no need for her to talk at him as if he was a child.  
>"I promise, I wont – as soon as you stop acting like a child and running off, the second no one is watching you."<br>"I didn't run off", Shikamaru corrected her "I had to come here. I told you!"  
>"No you didn't."<br>Ino tried to get Shikamaru to stand up, but he simply refused to move.  
>"But it only works for three days-", he bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood.<br>"You can't", he suddenly exclaimed, fixed Ino with his eyes as if she had done something wrong.  
>"You can't drop something if you don't have it!"<br>"I'm sure you're right", Ino replied, placing one arm around his shoulders.  
>"But we have to go now, or it'll get dark before we're back home."<br>At this, Shikamaru's eyes widened. He scrambled back to his feet all by himself and half-stumbled out of the cave, shortly followed by the others.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Kosheen<br>At this point I'd like to say: I like Ino! I really do! (Just, so that no one gets the wrong impression here.)  
>Oh, and one question for those native-speakers among you: Do you stand on a clearing or in a clearing? I have no idea...<br>_


	56. Comfortably Numb

**Comfortably Numb**

Sakura had spent the better half of the afternoon marveling at the complete numbness of each and every part of her body. Yes, she had read about this, but she had never imagined that the sense of touch really could be diminished to an extend where it was close to none-existent.  
>A few times she had pinched her arm, then her leg and lastly her breast, to see if she could bring herself to feel anything at all, but all she got was an odd number of bruises. She briefly wondered how she would explain those to Kiba, then remembered that before doing so she would have to explain a number of other things first and lastly, that the official reason for her absence probably offered room to excuse a few laughably light injuries anyway.<br>She also spent a considerable time getting to the bathroom and back. Kakashi's rather spartan bedroom wasn't exactly furnished to offer support along the way. Yet, somehow she managed – though she felt as if she was about to die of exhaustion when she finally fell into his bed again, and decided to have a serious word with Kakashi, once he was back. How could he (or they, for she deeply hoped that it had been Tenten who had put her in the pyjamas she was currently wearing – they certainly looked as if it originated from Tenten's wardrobe) have forgotten to place some crutches next to her bed?  
>With these, or similar thoughts she fell asleep, just as darkness fell around her and robbed her of the most reliable sense she had left.<p>

She awoke with a start. Something had pulled her out of a weird dream about strawberry-flavoured Ramen, and hunting for Naruto in a town where everything (from the rooftops to the pavement and the pedestrians) was coloured in a bright and flashy orange, back into reality.  
>The sound of breaking glass. Sakura vaguely remembered her dream's abrupt end having something to do with a window being smashed. She looked at the real window, but it seemed to be perfectly fine. Maybe it had been a weird dream with a weird and abrupt ending, and nothing more, Sakura thought. And then she noticed the small line of light beneath the bathroom-door.<br>She listened intently, but heard nothing. Eventually she climbed out of bed, focused her eyes on the light and forced her feet to somehow move in that direction. The path, she knew, was clear, so at least the only obstacles she could stumble over were her own toes. Yet she stumbled, half way – something gave a short wail as she tripped over it – and crashed right through the bathroom-door. The moment her knees hit the tile-floor Sakura was very grateful for her current sensory limitation – although as a medic she knew of the purpose pain generally served and that the inability to feel it could leave you ignorant of your own broken legs. But, as far as she could tell from looking at them, her legs were fine. Badly bruised, probably scraped, but other than that fine.

Her legs, however, were not her main concern in this instant. Her main concern was the question what on earth she was doing here – after all Kakashi had every right to use his own bathroom without her (quite literally) crashing into it. But this thought was quickly forgotten as well, as she took in the scene she had crashed into. First there was Kakashi, unmasked (but dressed, Sakura noted with relief), obviously surprised at Sakura's sudden intrusion, and his right hand dripping with blood. Then, although Kakashi did a rather good job blocking Sakura's view of it as he knelt down in front of her, there was the mirror that looked decidedly more shattered than it had the last time Sakura had seen it.  
>"You're not supposed to get out of bed yet", he said, placed his left hand on Sakura's shoulder, while his right had long since vanished behind his back. For a second Sakura was baffled by the sincerity of his concern that was all too visibly hidden underneath this nonchalant remark. Then she noticed the blood spattered on the floor.<br>With narrowed eyes she pulled at Kakashi's sleeve to bring his right arm back forth. Kakashi offered surprisingly little resistance.  
>"You", she replied dryly, as soon as she had caught his right hand between her two, and examined the depth with which some of the mirror's shards had embedded themselves in it, "are not supposed to use your mirror as a punching-bag."<br>She fastened her grip on his wrist as he made a halfhearted attempt to pull away, and continued to remove all pieces of shattered glass.  
>"What-", she bit her tongue. There was no way Kakashi could have been thinking anything, while burying his bare fist in his mirror-reflection. He hadn't even reinforced the blow with chakra to give his hand a tiny bit of protection.<br>"Can you move your fingers?", she asked instead and quite automatically. It was, after all, the first question a medic was required to ask any shinbo who had his hand injured.  
>"It's just scratches", Kakashi replied, only to receive a (given her own condition) remarkably stern look from Sakura. He sighed, obediently bent his fingers, each individually, then in pairs, then in threes, until Sakura nodded satisfied.<br>"Do you have bandages?", she asked, "Your scratches are bleeding all over the place."

Sakura lay on her side, right where Kakashi had placed her on his bed. She had not even bothered to pull up her blanket – she didn't feel the cold anyway. She watched through the open bathroom-door as Kakashi cleaned up the shards and blood covering the floor, stoically removed the mirror's remains from their hanging-place on the wall. Had he known where he could get a replacement now, in the middle of the night, Sakura had no doubt he would have done so.  
>"Sorry for earlier", she heard a voice quite close to her, just as Kakashi had left to take the trash outside. She looked down to see that Pakkun had come to join her.<br>"Never mind", she mumbled, petted the dog – which she hoped wasn't too intrusive. She couldn't remember if she ever had come to pet Pakkun before.  
>"Tell me, was he always like this and I never noticed?", she whispered.<br>"Like this?", Pakkun asked back and pointed one paw at the perfectly clean bathroom, that showed no trace at all of the previous outburst it had witnessed. Except for the empty space above the sink.  
>"Pretty much, yes", he yawned, baring teeth far too pointed to match his cute appearance.<br>"Like before... not very often."  
>"Hm", Sakura's thoughts drifted back to the night after Kakashi had seen Rin for the first time.<br>At the moment itself she had been far too overwhelmed by its intensity, but thinking back now, and after what had just happened, she worried about Kakashi. She wanted him to tell her what was upsetting him, wanted to help. But – She wondered what he would say if she dared to openly confront him, already could hear the smooth words with which he would tell her that there was no need for her to worry, accompanied by a perfect half moon smile, and before she would have a chance to argue with this he'd have her locked outside and doubled, no, probably tripled all his defences.  
>"Hey, Sakura", she returned her attention to Pakkun.<br>"It's a good thing you're here", the dog said.  
>"I'm really getting too old for this"<br>At this remark Sakura could not but smile.  
>"You're not old", she shook her head "Your paws are still as pink as a half-year-old's."<br>Pakkun raised his eyebrows (maybe commenting on one's paws equaled telling a fellow human that he had a nice butt? Sakura inwardly cringed at the idea that she might have unintentionally hit on a dog just now), then he stretched and jumped off the bed, just as Kakashi – accompanied by the rest of the pack – returned.

As Sakura had expected, he acted as if nothing had happened, as if he had just returned from his day at the office, continued with his evening routine right where his attack on the mirror had interrupted it and, for the most part, ignored Sakura.  
>Only when he had changed he stopped by her (or rather his) bed, to ask how her legs felt (which Sakura couldn't tell him).<br>"Kakashi?", she caught hold of his shirt, as he turned to head for the spare-bed he had set up for himself on the other side of the room.  
>"Can you sleep here?", she pointed at the empty space next to her.<br>Kakashi raised his right eyebrow (which looked way more skeptical than usually, with the rest of his face visible).  
>"It's just...", Sakura said meekly "I'm really not used to this whole not-feeling-by-body thing, and when it's dark I'm not even sure if I'm still here, and it's scary … and I really don't want to be on my own right now."<br>It wasn't an entire lie, though she had exaggerated a little. But it served its purpose – Kakashi picked up his bedding, and soon enough lay down next to Sakura; Flat on his back, and both eyes closed.  
>"How is this better?", he asked sounding genuinely curious.<br>"I don't know", Sakura shrugged. She momentarily hesitated, then lifted up his blanket to crawl under it and rested her head on his chest.  
>"I can hear your heart-beat", she whispered. <em>Your suddenly increasing heart-beat<em>, she thought, but kept that to herself. She could also hear him breathe, in a strangely familiar way and for a second she wanted to ask, if he was sniffing her, but quickly decided against it. Even if he was, the only thing Sakura felt was flattered by it. And painfully reminded that she needed to set things clear with Kiba. Neither of which were things she wanted to discuss now.  
>"Did I miss much today?", she asked instead and as casually as she could.<br>"Hmmhm"  
>She waited for a more elaborate answer, waited for a very long time, until she finally raised her head.<br>"Kakashi?"  
>"Sorry...", he blinked, "What did you say?"<br>"Did I miss much today?"  
>"Hmm..", for a second Sakura feared he'd once more end his reply there.<br>"Nothing worth mentioning"  
>She let her head sink back to his chest, closed her eyes so that the world around her disappeared, and all that existed was his heart-beat.<br>"What about Rin?", she asked from within this safe place of sensory isolation. There was no reply, though she could hear his breathing change a little.  
>"She woke up...", Kakashi spoke slowly.<br>Sakura looked up, looked at him – she knew she was about to tread on thin ice, but before she had even begun to voice her next question Kakashi had leaned forward and kissed her.  
>It was only a second before he pulled away.<br>"I'm sorry", he shook his head, "I – shouldn't ..."  
>"No, it's fine...", Sakura replied, startled as her voice sounded not like herself at all. She tugged his hair to get him to look at her again, but he decidedly ignored her, until she returned to her previous position, cuddled up against him, and listened to his heartbeat gradually slow down again.<br>"You know", she mumbled into his shirt's fabric, as she was about to fall asleep "maybe you could do this again, when I am able to feel it?"

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><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Pink Floyd<em>


	57. Army Dreamers

_Hello! Today the Author's Note comes first. ... I'm sorry for keeping you waiting so long (compared to my usual update-rate). As mentioned before, things are pretty busy for me right now, so there is no way for me to maintain daily updates. At least I didn't miss today's chapter. I hope you'll enjoy reading it and I greatly appreciate any form of feedback. __  
>That said, I'll now leave you with one little flashback for today.<em> :)

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><p><strong>Army Dreamers<br>**

The pug had been a replacement, though the pug did not know this. He was well aware that the rest of the pack was much older and far more experienced then him, but he never gave it much thought. He was still a pup after all, was still able to enjoy all the extra attention he received without questioning it. He loved that most of the training-sessions seemed to revolve around him, loved that his master seemed to care for him the most, would go so far as to let the pug stay at his house, even when the other dogs of the pack were long dismissed.  
>His master had his own pup, a little boy of two years, and when ever the pug had some time at paw he would spent it with the boy – playing, rolling around and remembering that they both were just kids. For this the pug soon understood: While his master was a kind and loving man, was a good master and a good father, he was still a shinobi through and through and did not know how to be anything else. When he had taught his boy how to walk, the walking wouldn't stop where the horizontal ended, instead of nursery-rhymes he taught him basic jutsu and where other parents showed their children how to hold a pen, he showed his son how to hold a kunai. Not because he intended to turn him into an efficient tool for the village as soon as possible, but because he simply didn't know any better.<br>The pug never wondered if this was right or wrong and the boy seemed to enjoy it – as with all little boys, anything that brought him closer to the almightiness of his father was highly appreciated – yet they both enjoyed every minute they spent together playing. Not surprisingly, the boy's name was the first human word the pug learned.

After two years the pug was no longer a pup, well trained and old enough to follow his master and pack out on missions. Thus he found nothing strange in it, when in the same year the boy was send to the Academy. Because they were both grown up now.  
>How wrong he was with this the pug learned later. The boy had graduated, had passed his chunin-exam and was finally send out on missions that involved much more than fixing some peasant's roof.<br>One night he came home from a mission, six years old, covered in blood, wide eyed and shaking.  
>He wasn't injured. But he had learned something that day.<br>He had learned that while in theory, when you kill someone they died – which isn't the most pleasant idea, but something unavoidable when killing someone – in practice they also screamed, and bled and possibly lost a whole lot of other body fluids and they looked at you, even if they could not possibly see you, they still looked at you...  
>His father did not understand or he understood too good. He took the boy to the bathroom and helped him out of his blood-soaked clothes. He taught him that first you washed your hands, then your hair and then worked your way down, taught him that you must never forget to clean your nails and clean them good – because there was always some blood stuck underneath and even if you could not see it, the faint smell was enough to drive you mad. The boy nodded stoically, listened to every word his father told him. He did not cry, did not throw up – even though his father said it would be perfectly fine after your first kill.<br>The pug watched from the hallway, watched as his master brought the boy to bed where he left him alone. He watched through the door, which the father had left ajar, as the boy curled up under his blanket, and – once he believed he was truly and fully alone – started to cry. It was then that the pug realised that while he was by now a fully grown dog, the boy was still a boy.  
>The pug slipped through the crack in the door and boldly jumped on the boy's bed, where he lay down next to him and soon felt one little hand wrapped around him, one little forehead rest against his back and tears wet his fur.<p>

When, after the Iwa-incident, his master resolved to rather end his life than live on in shame – when he told his dogs about his decision, it was the pug and no one else, who spoke up.  
>Of course the rest of the pack did not like their master's plan either, but they figured that they could not understand such human concepts and problems. It was the pug who reminded his master that he was not only a shinbi, but also a father and that he should think of his son.<br>"He'll understand", was all his master said "He's strong. He'll deal with it."

There wasn't a real funeral, but after the small ceremony the pug sought out the boy – who sat in his room, motionless, two dark and dead eyes fixed on the wall. The pug believed that the boy needed someone to comfort him, but the second he neared him, the boy sprang up and leaped at the pug with all the rage of a confused and angry and lost little boy trained to be a killing-machine.  
>It was the ninken's fault. The canine loyalty, the way of the pack that was to blame for his father's fall.<br>He just needed some time, the pug thought, and he gave him time, but months passed and the boy did not stop blaming the dogs.  
>In the end the pug gave up, left the boy alone. Maybe this was how it was, and there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe the other ninken had been right when they told him not to meddle with humans too much – because there was no way to understand the strange ways in which they worked.<br>For years the pug heard nothing from the boy. He sometimes worried about him, especially when he heard that war was declared between Konohagakure and Iwagakure. He sometimes considered to see how the boy was. But he never did. He waited.  
>If, one day, he would come to his senses, the pug would be there, he would let the boy summon him and he would help him to build up his own pack of ninken, would teach him how to train and to work with them. He would forgive him. But it was the boy who had to make the first step.<p>

After the war had ended, the pug had almost lost hope. Part of him had settled with the grim belief that the boy had died, when one day he was pulled from the meadow where he had just been chasing some bitch, and into a small, shabby apartment.  
>The boy, the pug had to admit, was no longer a boy. He wasn't quite a man yet either, but he was teen enough not to be called a child (though he hadn't been called that for a long time).<br>He sat in his bed, cross-legged and stared at the pug with his left eye scarred and squeezed shut.  
>The pug stared back.<br>At last the boy turned his head, looked away and held out his hand.  
>The pug understood. He sniffed at the boys fingers, then – the boy was still looking away – leaned his head against the boy's hand, before he dropped on the mattress, where the boy soon lay down next to him, wrapped one not so little hand around the pug's body, rested one almost fully grown forehead against the pug's back and allowed his tears be soaked up by short, brown fur.<br>The pug never asked what had happened, he gathered bits and pieces of information that gave him an idea of the story. But he held the promise he had made for himself. He helped the boy to find his own pack of ninken, taught him how to train and to work with them. It was no surprise when he ended up as the new pack's alpha – not only was he the oldest and most experienced among them. He was also their master's closest and most trusted friend.

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><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Kate Bush<br>_


	58. We Build Bridges

**We Build Bridges**

Although it was past noon when Sakura awoke the following day, she still felt a little disappointed by Kakashi's absence. The feeling did not last long though, as it was soon drowned out by the unpleasant sensation of each and every cell in her body starving. Other than that she still felt numb, though a faint, dull pain in her knees indicated that her senses were slowly returning. She rolled to her side to find a bowl of water waiting for her next to the bed, as well as a package of instant-nutriments, a pink line along the edges for the artificial strawberry-flavour.  
>After she had drunk, able to taste a little and longing for something real to eat – even though she knew she should stick with liquids as long as she could not feel her own tongue – she wondered if she should try to take a shower, but soon came to the conclusion that it probably wouldn't do much good anyway, as she had nothing to change.<br>Her gaze wandered to the foot of the bed where, leaning against the wall, she spotted a pair of crutches.

First Sakura made her way to the bathroom, washed her face, rinsed her mouth and searched for some kind of comb or brush, and a hand-mirror. She did not dare to look too deep into the drawers though and found nothing.  
>After that she hobbled back to Kakashi's bed, sat down and evaluated her own level of exhaustion.<br>She was still feeling fine, she decided, picked up two packs of strawberry-flavoured nutriments and headed for Rin's hidden room.  
>She was nervous. Not only because she wasn't completely sure if she really could afford to use the ridiculously small amount of chakra needed to un- and reseal the door.<br>Rin was awake. And from Kakashi's behaviour last night Sakura assumed she had not taken her new life too well. Which was the exact reason why she, Sakura, had to look after her. Maybe meeting someone she did not know from her old life was exactly what she needed.

The moment she had opened the door Sakura stopped. On the edge of her bed sat Rin, her lips pressed together in a thin line while she removed all cables and tubes that were still attached to her.  
>"You shouldn't...", Sakura hesitantly said. Rin looked up, took in Sakura's knotted hair, her pale face, dark rings under her eyes, took in the pyjama's she was wearing and the crutches she leaned on.<br>"I think I know very well what I'm doing, thank you", she then said with a smile.  
>"Right...", Sakura hobbled to her bed and – not waiting for the other girl's invitation – sat down next to her.<br>"I'm Sakura", she stretched out one hand, which Rin took a surprised look on her face.  
>"I'm sorry", she mumbled "I.. I thought you'd be older."<br>She told Sakura that she had learned from Katsuyu, whom she had dismissed a few hours ago, as the slugs skin had been getting dry, about Tsunade-sama's return, and about her new apprentice.  
>"It must have been wonderful to train under her guidance", Rin mused while Sakura started to pour pink powder into a glass of water.<br>"I don't know", she shrugged, then handed the glass to Rin, who looked at the milky-rose liquid suspiciously.  
>"Instant nutriments", Sakura explained.<br>"Strawberry-flavoured", she added. "It still tastes horrible, but not as bad as unflavoured."  
>"She had planned", Rin said between sips "to teach me... before she...", she made one vague gesture.<br>"I could have -", she broke off, glass sill half full and clutched in her hands, broke into tears, allowed Sakura to wrap her arms around her.

"Do you think-", Rin asked, once she had calmed down, "Do you think I could stay somewhere else?"  
>"Why?", Sakura gave her best not to sound too curious.<br>"I... I can't-", Rin bit her lip to hold back the tears.  
>"I mean – it's like.. he broke up with me two weeks ago – and, and I thought, once we're both back we could, maybe we could work thing out... and now", there Rin lost her fight against the tears, "now he's probably married with kids!"<br>For a second Sakura tried to imagine this. It seemed very much unimaginable to her. Then she inwardly shook her head at her own thickness. It had been all too obvious.  
>"Well, you are officially a murder-suspect", Sakura said after a while "but I'm sure, if we disguise you sufficiently... I'll talk with Kakashi. I'm sure he will understand."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Liz Durrett<em>


	59. Breathe Me

**Breathe Me**

Sakura was determined to wait for Kakashi to return, but after several hours of waiting her imagination of a fourteen-year-old Kakashi and his girlfriend, of the various possible ways he might have broken up with Rin and how he might react if she was to ask him why he hadn't told her about it were as exhausted as Sakura herself. In one last attempt to keep herself awake she picked up the worn out, orange paperback resting on the nightstand and started to read.  
>She didn't get past the first two lines.<br>When the book was pulled away from under her face Sakura woke up.  
>"I'm sorry!", she watched as Kakashi inspected the somewhat crumbled pages, meticulously smoothed out every crease, no matter how small, in silence. She wondered if he might be cross with her for so much as touching his precious Icha-Icha book, mumbled further apologies, which Kakashi didn't seem to hear. After what felt like hours he got up and placed the book on a shelf – high enough to be out of reach for Sakura (at least until she was able to mold chakra again) – before he left for the bathroom.<p>

Sakura still sat in bed when Kakashi returned. She asked, what had happened; Because, yes – he could be a little peculiar when it came to his favourite books, yet Sakura refused to believe that a bit of wrinkled paper would upset him enough to downright ignore her.  
>"Nothing", Kakashi said. He picked up blanket and pillow that lay neatly folded at the foot of his spare-bed and returned to Sakura.<br>"Do you mind?"  
>She shook her head, made room for him. She wrapped her arms around her legs, rested her lips against her increasingly aching knees and watched her own feet move under the sheets. It was the simplest thing to ask, <em>why didn't you tell me she was your girlfriend.<em> Yet she couldn't say it out loud.  
>"Why-", she finally found the courage to speak, but at the same time Kakashi had decided to end his silence.<br>"Madara's body was found."

A letter from Kumogakure had arrived today; The body had been discovered close to the country's border with the Land of Frost, after a small earthquake had triggered a landslide. The autopsy was still in process, but his identity had been affirmed.  
>Sakura listened patiently, nodded from time to time.<br>"If he's dead...", she said after Kakashi had finished "...how - ?"  
>Kakashi shrugged.<br>"Maybe", he said very slowly "It wasn't him to begin with. Maybe it's just me, losing my mind."  
>Sakura watched him as he leaned back against the wall. She had never noticed that he bit his nails, she thought, then reminded herself that a mere week ago he still had been her chronically masked and completely untouchable former sensei.<br>Carefully she took hold of his hands, pulled them away from his teeth.  
>"You're not", she said.<br>"You couldn't have brought Rin back from the dead", she said. Her fingers traced the fine pattern of scars that covered his skin.  
>"Neji wouldn't have seen what he saw", she said.<br>"And Naruto...", there she paused, "Naruto hadn't... I – would have known."  
>She looked at Kakashi, who had his eyes closed.<br>"Maybe it is his ghost", Sakura suggested, "Or maybe there's another explanation. Either way, as soon as I'm back on my feet, I'll go to Kumogakure and take a look at that body myself."  
>At this remark Kakashi opened his eyes, closed his hands around hers.<br>"You can't", he whispered.  
>"Why-"<br>"Because I need you here."

For a second that stretched endlessly they just looked each other in the eye, then Sakura – she didn't really know why – turned her head, slumped back against the wall and said:  
>"So I can kill you, if things go awry."<br>Had she so much as blinked, she would have missed Kakashi shaking his head. She didn't. Yet she remained still, waited with a mixture of curiosity and anticipation for what ever Kakashi would do next. She was a little disappointed, when he just squeezed her hands, then let go of them and slipped under his blanket.  
>The second she too lay down, he had his arm wrapped around her, pulled her towards him.<br>Sakura closed her eyes. Her sense of touch still had not fully recovered, but it was there, undeniable, told her that Kakashi's hand rested flat on her stomach, his thumb drew small circles inches below her solar plexus. She felt his lips against the back of her neck, his breath against her skin. And she couldn't tell if it was because of the numbness she had felt the past few days, or for some other reason she did not understand, that this small amount of physical contact felt so much more intimate than any physical intimacy she had experienced so far in her life.

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><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Sia.<em>

_Oh, I'm really looking forward to getting the narrative away from beds and bedrooms again :D_


	60. New Coat of Paint

**New Coat of Paint**

After one week at the Hokage's mansion – even though she had barely seen more than Kakashi's bedroom – her own one-room-flat seemed much smaller to Sakura than she had remembered it.  
>"I'm sorry", she nervously tugged at her hair, felt a faint blush spreading on her cheeks.<br>"It's alright", Rin shrugged. She was already sitting on the sofa, testing her make-shift sleeping place. "And thanks for letting me stay here."  
>"Sure", Sakura looked at Rin, her hair cut boyishly short, the mask – that obscured the distinguishable marks in her face – pushed down the second they had entered the apartment.<br>She had her legs and arms sprawled, while her eyes scanned the room. Suddenly she jumped up.  
>She picked up the photograph standing next to Sakura's bed.<br>"I'm sorry. I can put it away, if you -"  
>"No. No, it's fine", Rin smiled at Sakura with glittering eyes.<br>"It's fine", she repeated and returned to her seat on the sofa, the photograph still in her hands.  
>Sakura hesitated before she sat down next to Rin. She was a little surprised when it wasn't Kakashi's face that Rin traced with her finger.<br>"He really looks like his father", she laughed – though it might as well have been a sob, Sakura wasn't entirely sure.  
>"I had kind of hoped, it'd be a girl. Just so Minato-sensei wouldn't give him that stupid name."<br>Sakura didn't know what to say to this. It was only after years of knowing him that she had learned about Naruto's heritage, and it was kind of weird – having Rin talk about it so naturally.  
>"Was he a good teacher?"<br>"Huh?"  
>"Kakashi – was he a good teacher?"<br>"I don't know", Sakura shrugged. She had never given it much thought, yet the question made her feel a little uncomfortable.  
>"I guess he was", she said after a moment of hesitation "At least for Naruto... probably Sasuke too, if he hadn't..."<br>As casually as she could she took the picture from Rin's hand and placed it back on her nightstand. She went to the kitchen to make some tea. Rin didn't know anything, she thought. She had learned that the Yondaime had died and that Kakashi now was Hokage. But anything that had happened in between, she hadn't been told yet.  
>"Will you introduce us?", Rin asked from the living-room.<br>Sakura swallowed. She placed teapot and two cups on a tray and returned.  
>"He's...", she couldn't bring herself to say it. Because there was still hope that it wasn't true. That Naruto was not dead.<br>"It's a long story..."  
>"If you don't want to tell me, that's okay", Rin said, though her voice betrayed her curiosity.<br>Sakura thought about it for a moment, then shook her head.  
>"No. I guess you're ought to know. After all, you're part of this … this whole … mess."<p>

It was dark when Sakura had recounted everything they, that is Team 7, had been through, when she had told Rin about the Akatsuki and Madara, about the war and how it had ended. And even though it was hard at times to find the right words, or to forbid her tears to drown them out, it felt good to talk about it, to talk about it with Rin, who listened patient- and quietly, asked questions only when it was absolutely necessary. Who held Sakura's hand through out most of the story and occasionally would share her tears  
>After Sakura had finished the two girls sat in silence for a long time. Eventually Sakura got up to announce that she'd go to bed now, the hint of a smile on her lips. Funny, she thought, for such a long time she had believed telling anyone would only make it all harder to bear, and maybe it would have. There was not one among her friends who wasn't, in one way or another, involved in this story, who did not have his or her own package of guild and regrets to carry, and maybe talking with them – who understood best – was the worst thing one could do.<p>

When Sakura returned from the bathroom she found Rin standing by her desk, browsing through a file.  
>"Chakra-assimilation?", she asked when she sensed Sakura next to her.<br>"I thought that's impossible."  
>"Well, I have reason to believe that it's not", Sakura replied.<br>Rin raised her eyebrows in curiosity, then quite suddenly her face fell, she shut the file and quickly placed it back on the desk.  
>"This is classified, right?", she bit her lip.<br>"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have – it's just, it lay there open, and I -"  
>"Everything's fine!", Sakura held up her hands in a calming gesture.<br>"You're right, this is sort of classified. But", she paused for the effect "you're part of this classified business anyway."  
>Sakura had not yet finished talking when Rin had already picked up the file again and sat down on the floor with it, spreading printed papers as well as Sakura's own handwritten notes in front of her.<br>Soon any thought of sleep was forgotten. Sakura made them some fresh tea, and they spent the rest of the night discussing the contents of the archive's documents as well as Sakura's so far formed theories. For the second time Sakura felt grateful that she had let Kakashi convince her to have Rin stay at her place, if only for a few days; It was now, talking medic on a level she hadn't for a very long time, trying to figure out how to prove that the impossible wasn't quite as impossible as generally believed, that Sakura realised how much she had missed Tsunade-sama, how much she had missed Shizune. Not for guidance or sisterly advice. But because ever since those two had died she had not talked to anyone who was on the same level as she was.  
>Not skill-wise, obviously. Sakura was well aware that skill-wise she was only just above average. But she also knew, though she tended to forget this, that her natural understanding of medical jutsu was quite extraordinary. It wasn't until she finally met someone equally talented, that she remembered.<p>

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><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Tom Waits<em>

_Did you ever notice, there are very few scenes with two girls being clever togehter in fiction? It's always boy-boy or boy-girl; So here I am, trying to change this._


	61. Pretty Girls Make Graves

**Pretty Girls Make Graves**

The recovery of Madara's body caused a (stealthily quiet) uproar among those high ranking enough to be informed about it. Kumogakure's statement, the corpse's decomposition was too far advanced to even consider transportation, was generally (though mostly by those still skeptic of the Alliance) received as a lie. The shinobi of the cloud had not changed at all, they would say, and that this proofed their plan to strip the body of all worthwhile information before any medic from the other villages arrived to take their part in the legendary Uchiha's autopsy.  
>Kakashi refrained from telling them that, if Kumogakure wanted to keep any information the body offered to themselves, they already had had plenty of time to extract what ever they wanted, just stated the question why – if this was their plan – they would bother telling the other villages about Madara at all, and why they would request foreign medics to partake in the autopsy.<br>Of course, it was agreed – while Kakashi's mind drifted to the uncomfortable question what Madara planned to do with him, if his physical form was apparently not trapped in limbo – Konoha would send Haruna Sakura.  
>At the mentioning of her name, Kakashi snapped back, noticed that everyone was staring at him, waiting for his approval. There was, he realised, no reason – no reason he could mention here – that would justify not sending their best medic. Today she had officially returned to the village, safe and sound, which also nullified the option of hiding her at his place for another week.<br>Kakashi inwardly cringed at the fact that he was so much as thinking this – though once he had done so he found it remarkably hard not to think any further about it.  
>"Ah – I'll talk to her", he stammered, and soon after that dismissed the group of jounin and advisors. There wasn't anything left to talk about anyway.<p>

One of them took his time, trailed behind the others and waited till they had all left, before he closed the door from the inside again.  
>"You don't want to send her, Kakashi-sama?", Neji stated, once he was positive that there was no one left within earshot.<br>Kakashi did not reply. He felt a little annoyed that he was seen through so easily – even by Neji.  
>"It is understandable, considering that – should Madara attack through you with his whole power – she probably is the only one who could stop him.<br>"And it is also understandable", he added when Kakashi remained silent "that you would not want to entrust anyone else with – this."  
>There was no intention in this remark readable for Kakashi. It had not been too long since Neji had joined the ANBU and thus, to prove his absolute loyalty, placed his life in his Hokage's hand, yet he did not seem to find it qustianable that it was Sakura and would be Sakura only whom Kakashi allowed to hold this power over him.<br>"I suppose", Kakashi sighed after a long time of consideration "I don't have much of a choice, if I want to avoid too many – any further casualties."  
>To this Neji said nothing, just waited, patiently, for Kakashi to announce whom he would chose, but Kakashi remained silent. He was already bowing his good-bye, when a thought struck him.<br>"Kakashi-sama? This might be a rather silly idea, but", he paused, unsure whether he should speak out his thought at all, "if one of us was to double her-"  
>"He or she'd need to be at least close to Sakura's level as a medic", Kakashi cut him off.<br>"I'm sorry", Neji bobbed his head, "As I said, it was-"  
>"I really appreciate it", Kakashi gave him one half-moon smile, which wasn't half as faked as any one he had offered recently.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Smiths.<br>_

_I'm a little embarrassed, it is so obvious where this is leading. _

I'd also like to announce, even though this might be a little early (and maybe this whole idea is nothing but wishfull thinking on my part ^^), partly to encourage my anonymous none-commenting readers to say hello, partly because I'd really like to write something for someone else sometime:

I'll write a oneshot for whoever posts the 100th review to this story.


	62. Solitude Standing

**Solitude Standing**

At first it fascinated Kakashi how easily, how quickly he had grown used to Sakura's presence. The fascination soon turned into irritation though. Because his bedroom wasn't more vacant, more quiet than it had been for the past year. Because his bed had not suddenly grown absurdly large – it was still the same size as it had always been. Designed to hold one person, and one person only.  
>He took one deep breath, tried to clear his mind.<p>

Her smell still lingered.

Outside it was raining, a thick and cold shower poured down and washed away what was left of summer. The streets were empty, the taverns crowded, and for some time Kakashi watched – safely hidden in the dark – through the windows. He wondered if getting drunk would be the fittingly inappropriate thing to do now, then walked on.  
>He wasn't really surprised when he ended up in front of Sakura's apartment. Or rather, in front of the house in which Sakura's apartment was located. The water started to soak through his clothes, yet he stayed on the street, while his ninken huddled up in a doorway to seek shelter from the rain.<br>There was no rational reason that justified keeping Sakura here, Kakashi thought. He would have to entrust Neji or Sai with his life; He couldn't see himself giving Tenten this power over him, although he wasn't sure why. He would have to ask her to help Rin adjust, he thought.  
>He had managed to stay sane on his one until now, he should be able to do so for a few more weeks.<br>Kakashi forced his eye away from Sakura's window, forced his feet to move back to his residence. He had not come far, when he heard a slurred voice calling his name. Kakashi ignored it, signaled his ninken to do the same. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and continued his way home.  
>The voice called again.<br>"At least have the decency to face me!", it called.  
>Kakashi turned, hands still in his pocket.<br>"Maybe I would", he mused, while he watched Kiba swaggering in his direction, "if you were still able to stand."  
>The second Kiba leaped forward, Kakashi had him by his collar, had his arm twisted sufficiently to render him immobile.<br>"I really don't want to hurt you", he informed him evenly.  
>At this Kiba laughed, snarled something that sounded vaguely like "You stole my girlfriend", then struggled in Kakashi's grasp in the very vain attempt to hit him, before he started to cry.<br>Kakashi let go of him, carefully, even tried to steady him a little as he slumped into against the next wall and helped him to find the next doorway to sit down.

He was halfway home, when he sent Bisuke back to make sure Kiba would be alright.  
>Back in his bedroom Kakashi climbed out of his drenched clothes. He shivered as he crawled into his bed, pulled the blanket up over his head. Immediately he was surrounded by Sakura's scent, intoxicatingly heavy.<br>He should have changed the sheets.  
>He would do so. Tomorrow.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Suzanne Vega.<em>

_For months - months! - I had wanted to use Tom Waits' "Rain dogs" as a title_; _  
>And here I get my chance and find another song more fitting.<em>..


	63. No Surprises

**No Surprises**

Since her graduation-exam Sakura had not felt this nervous walking towards the Academy's gate. Three days she had spent at Kakashi's place, three days during which he had allowed her to see him as unmasked as she imagined possible. And now she would have to act as if none of it had happened.  
>She wasn't sure if she could do this. She knew that she should, being a kunoichi – she should be able to set aside her feelings. What ever feelings that were. She had not quite figured that out yet.<br>She also had a proposal to make. And even though she herself found it to be a rather good one, she still was anxious to hear Kakashi's reaction to it.  
>She was greeted warmly by most of the other shinobi working in the administrative, though the question – why she was still here and not yet on her way to Kumogakure – seemed to follow her everywhere around. Each time the answer she gave was the same. Kakashi had not yet told her to go, but her things were ready and packed, so as soon as he would affirm her assignment, she would leave.<p>

She arrived in his office at three minutes past eight, spent fifteen minutes sorting through the messages that had arrived overnight before the first client – some wealthy salesman who wanted an escort for his goods, which apparently were valuable enough to bother the Hokage (or his assistant) in person – arrived.  
>At eight fifty-four Sakura reviewed the list of genin-teams that were to participate in the chunin-exam, before she placed it on the stack of documents to be signed by Kakashi, then turned her attention to the most recent mission-reports.<br>At ten she wanted to take a break, but soon enough remembered that the Academy's students were doing just the same at this time, and instead made a list of suggestions which available teams should be assigned to what missions.  
>At eleven she had lunch, alone on the roof in front of the window. From where she sat she could keep an eye on the clock hanging in the office, as well as the door. Any time now Kakashi would arrive, she thought.<br>He didn't.  
>At half past she continued to work, at twelve she started to worry, tried to tell herself that, if anything bad had happened, someone would have told her by now. As neither one of the ninken, nor anyone else had shown up yet, she assured herself, Kakashi simply was exceeding his usual tardiness.<p>

A little past one he finally arrived, and for the first time in years Sakura greeted him with a very honestly annoyed "You're late!"  
>He didn't even bother making up some outrageous excuse, in fact he didn't bother acknowledging her presence at all, sat down behind his desk without saying a single word, without so much as looking at her.<br>Sakura turned to Pakkun, who flapped his ears.  
>She waited, although she admittedly was sick of waiting. After another hour, in which she felt completely and utterly ignored, she gave up.<br>"Kakashi?", she said, and then – because she wasn't quite sure if it was okay for her to use his name like this in public, or public spaces, or anywhere at all, added "Sensei?"  
>Kakashi didn't look up. He gave her a half-attentive "Hm", though. Not one you gave to someone you had spent the last hour ignoring but rather one you gave to someone with whom you just had had a very lively conversation, which just happened to have fallen silent seconds ago.<br>"Kaka-sensei?", she said, and was surprised how wrong this very familiar form of address suddenly felt.  
>"What?"<br>He still refrained from looking at her. Sakura clenched her fists, hard enough to make her knuckles turn white.  
>"Could you please stop ignoring me?"<br>"I'm not", he replied, his eye still fixed at the document in his hands.  
>Sakura took a deep breath. The office, she reminded herself, had just recovered from her last outburst.<br>"I've been thinking", she said, and did her best to ignore the fact that she still felt very ignored.  
>"If you don't want me to leave, but everyone else wants me to go …", she watched for some, for any reaction. There was none. Kakashi kept reading, or pretending to read, what ever text it was in front of him.<br>"Would you please look at me?"  
>Before she could stop herself, she had jumped up, gripped the back of his chair and spun him around to face her. To her very surprise, Kakashi seemed startled enough by this to not evade her, although his gaze – after momentarily focusing on her – soon wandered past her and out of the window.<br>At least, Sakura tried to calm her temper, while she placed her hands one his arm-rests, he was facing in her direction now.  
>"If you don't want me to leave, but everyone else wants me to go", she repeated. Kakashi shifted his weight, leaned forward a little, and then – finally – decided to look at her.<br>"I suggest to send Rin in my place."  
>Kakashi blinked, but Sakura didn't give him a chance to interrupt her.<br>"I already talked about it with her, and she's fine with it. Of course, she'll need someone to accompany her – but if Katsuyu cooperates, we should be able to communicate easily. We've got everything ready, so if you give your okay, she'll leave."  
>Kakashi blinked again. She could, even through his mask, see him opening his mouth, then close it again, could hear him breathe in through his nose.<br>"You hardly know her", he finally said, painstakingly slow.  
>"But I trust her", Sakura told him.<br>"Besides", she added, leaning the tiniest bit closer "She's the only medic we can ask to double me, so it's lucky she's also the only medic that wont have me worried about my reputation."  
>With these words she let go of Kakashi's chair, strode over to her desk, picked up her bag and headed for the door.<br>"Where are you going?", she heard Kakashi calling after her.  
>"Home. Where I will wait for either my or Rins escort. Your choice."<br>And with these words she left, as quickly as she could and before her courage would decide to run ahead and leave her alone.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Radiohead<em>


	64. I Let Love In

**I Let Love In**

Ten minutes had passed, since Kakashi had made his decision, since he had sent Pakkun to Sakura; she could take Rin with her, if she wanted to, but it would have to be her, the real Sakura, who was to perform the autopsy. The Alliance was still too young, too frail, the risk of Rin being discovered too high, to take personal reasons in account. Kakashi was glad that he had come to back his senses. Keeping some distance between him and Sakura was exactly what he needed – with all that was going on at the moment, he couldn't afford to get lost in sensitivities.  
>After ten more minutes, during which he somehow managed not to think of Sakura too much, a sudden, and – he tried to assure himself – quite irrational, anxiety took hold of him. What if something happened to her – or to him – during her absence? Her last memory of him would be how he ignored her, only because he had not been able to look at her, after allowing her to see him, see him the way she had.<p>

Kakashi couldn't remember if he had ever felt as nervous as he did climbing up the stairs to Sakura's apartment. His hands were sweating, he noticed with a pinch of annoyance, when he knocked at her door. There was no answer. So maybe she and Rin had already left to meet up with Shino by the gate, he thought and was already about to head back to the Academy, when the door opened.  
>"Kakashi-sensei", Sakura looked at him a little surprised.<br>"Yo", Kakashi said, hit by both – the smell of Sakura's flat, which consisted mostly of her own sweet scent, and the realisation that he had no idea what to say or do next. He was sure he had thought this through on his way, but what ever plan he had had then, was gone now.  
>Sakura hesitantly invited him in and Kakashi signaled his ninken to wait outside.<br>He scoped the room for any sign of Rin, but as far as he could tell, Sakura was on her own. Two backpacks occupied the sofa – a worn out one, that he recognised as Sakura's, the other one newly bought – and a assortment of weapons and medical tools, deemed unnecessary for their journey, lay on the made bed.  
>"Where's Rin?"<br>Sakura blinked once, then gestured towards the bathroom door.  
>"Shower", she said.<br>Right, Kakashi thought, he could hear the water running. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, shifted his weight from one foot to another, took on a little more slouched pose. He felt as if he was sixteen again, or rather – like he suspected he should have felt at the age of sixteen.  
>"We're about to head off, so would you please tell me, why you are here?"<br>"I-", Kakashi looked out her window, which offered a clear view of the street below. The same street he had walked down minutes ago, the same street he desperately wished to be able to return to instantly. But even though he technically could, he remained where he was.  
>"I.. uhm... I just-", he laughed weakly, shook his head at the awkwardness of this whole situation.<br>"I just wanted to -"  
>"Well?"<br>"I think I love you."  
>Kakashi froze. This wasn't what he had planned to say. What he had planned to say was: "I'm sorry", or something alike. No, he tried to convince him self, he must have thought it. Yet his voice still echoed if not in the room at least in his head.<br>He waited, not daring to tear his eye from the street outside, for some, for any reaction, but there was none. The shower was still running, but other than that time appeared to have frozen too.  
>Then he heard a rustling noise shortly followed by the apartment door opening and being slammed shut.<br>Slowly Kakashi turned. He wasn't quite sure what he expected to see, but found that he was not at all surprised when there was only one backpack left on the sofa. Tattered and worn and with a tiny cherry-blossom embroidered on it's side.

* * *

><p><em>Title repsectfully borrowed from<em>: _Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds_

_I'm not entirely sure, if it's clear what happened here. (It will be explained in the next chapter, but any question you have - ask me!)_


	65. Two Steps on the Water

_Dearest readers!  
>Before this chapter begins, I'd like to point out, that I have never thought or talked about the process of taking a shower using the English language. (Come to think of it, I think I never tried to describe it in German either)<em>_. Nor can I recall to have ever read/heard someone else describe it. Thus I sincerely apologise, if this first paragraph doesn't read as smoothly as it should (... maybe I should start looking for a Beta...)  
>That said, I'd like to thank you for reading this story!<em>

~ _Räubertochter_.

* * *

><p><strong>Two Steps on the Water<strong>

To Sakura the last shower before going on a mission was something special, something to celebrate (as far as one can celebrate taking a shower), and even if she had little time to do so, she would make use of it to the last minute – or the last drop of warm water, what ever ran out first.  
>On this occasion it was the latter. As the jet cooled down she turned the shower stream back to a normal spray, let the cold water run over her arms and legs, daring herself to let it touch her belly, and wondered what it would be like, to be someone who usually took cold showers.<br>She dried herself off, applied some body lotion she had strictly reserved for the last shower before and the first shower after a mission, then wrapped herself in a dry towel and left the bathroom.

As she opened the door she stopped dead, stared for a few seconds before she mustered the voice to point out the obvious.  
>"I didn't know you're here, Kakashi."<br>She didn't get an answer, though she thought she could see his mouth moving under his mask. She waited, arms crossed tight around her towel-cover body, raised her eyebrows demanding an explanation for his presence. And, she noted while Kakashi remained still, for Rin's absence.  
>"What are you doing here?", she tried to get him to speak, while picking up her clothes – one hand still clutching the piece of fabric that kept her from complete nakedness.<br>"And where's Rin?"  
>"She -", Kakashi cleared his throat, turned his back towards Sakura and his eye to the street outside.<br>"Well?", Sakura took her clothes with her as she retreated to the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.  
>"She left.."<br>"Wha – why?"  
>"Uhm..."<br>Sakura hurried to get dressed. This, she decided, was not the sort of conversation one should have through a half-closed door.  
>"Why would she leave? She was looking forward to this mission", she said after she had returned to the living-room, "By the way, you can turn around now."<br>But Kakashi remained where he was and silent.  
>"You said something to her, right? Something stupid, like …", Sakura sighed.<br>"You know, you can be such an insensitive idiot at times", she was already by the door, putting her sandals on. If Kakashi had managed to scare Rin away, Sakura thought, it was up to her to go after her.  
>"I told her I loved her."<p>

For a split second Sakura was surprised, when at his words her blood turned to ice and her surroundings were drained of their colour, leaving her in a bleak world. But then she understood and in spite of what she had just heard she had to smile. Because suddenly a lot of things she had felt and thought, that had confused her during the past days, made sense now.  
>She swallowed, willed the tears to stay if not out of her eyes at least out of her voice.<br>"Then – why would she leave? She's still..."  
>Kakashi said something, but far too quiet for Sakura's ears to catch it.<br>"What?" she snapped.  
>"She was pretending to be you."<br>Her right foot was turning a deep purple, Sakura observed, then realised that she was effectively strangling it with the sandal's strap.  
>"Why would you-", she began, but broke off mid-sentence. She let go of her shoe, slipped out of it and, a little unsteadily, got back to her bare feet.<br>"So...", she said, unsure what to say. Kakashi was still staring out of the window.  
>"I guess I'd better not go after her."<br>"I already sent-"  
>"Right."<br>Sakura dabbed her eyes and walked over to where Kakashi stood. Three steps, then she waited for him to look at her.  
>When he finally did, there was a slight frown visible around his eye.<br>"Why are you crying?", he asked.  
>Sakura shrugged, chewed on her lip. She took a deep breath.<br>"Unmask!"  
>"Why?"<br>She closed her eyes, let her head hang.  
>"For a so called genius, you're remarkably dense sometimes."<br>"Hn", Kakashi mumbled, then pulled down the fabric that had, until now, obscured his face, flushed cheeks and all.  
>"I suppose, I'm not really good at these things."<br>"I noticed", Sakura smiled, then rose to her tip toes, wrapping her arms around his neck as she did so, and kissed him.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: the lyrics of one of Kate Bush's songs. (Which makes her the most quoted artist so far)<br>(Special feature in this chapter: The title that I should have used for the last chapter!)  
><em>


	66. You're The Cup

**You're The Cup**

"With Nozomi teething, you don't get much sleep anyway – so it wont make any difference."  
>It hadn't been Ino's words that had convinced Kurenai, but rather the desperate look on the girl's face as well as the vague hope, that maybe the calming effect her daughter had on Shikamaru would turn out to be of mutual nature.<br>Amazingly enough, it was. After they had played for a little while both, Nozomi and Shikamaru, dozed off, sprawled out on the living room floor. Grateful for this precious gift of peace and quiet and with the greatest caution not to wake either of them, Kurenai covered them up with a blanket.  
>She wasn't quite sure what to do with the rest of her evening – did not dare to hope, that her unexpected free time would last too long. She had just settled on her sofa with a book, when she heard a tapping noise.<br>It came from her window, she realised – briefly wondered who this might be – and was indeed a little surprised when she found none other than the Hokage himself outside. Since he had assumed the office, the chances of Kakashi visiting had halved. Not that they had ever been especially high to begin with.

"Thank you", Kurenai said as she let him in. She received a slightly confused look from Kakashi in return.  
>"For not using the doorbell", she pointed at the two sleeping figures at her floor and motioned him to follow her to the kitchen, offered him something to drink, which he declined and after waiting for a considerable amount of time for him to say something, asked why he had come.<br>"Hmm", Kakashi looked at the cup of tea that he had not wanted and which was placed in front of him none the less.  
>"I didn't know Shikamaru was here", he said, his gaze still fixed on his unwanted drink.<br>Kurenai narrowed her eyes. There was something odd about Kakashi's behaviour, she thought, and couldn't quite decide whether to feel curious or concerned about it.  
>"..he wouldn't let Ino get any sleep, since..."<br>Kakashi took his time before he asked "Since when?"  
>So, Kurenai gathered, maybe Shikamaru wasn't what he had wanted to talk about.<br>"He ran off, a few days ago... before that, I had actually thought he was getting better."  
>"He seems calm enough right now..."<br>"Hm", Kurenai leaned back in her chair to look through the living room door.  
>"I'm not a bad mother, for letting him play with Nozomi. Am I?"<br>She didn't really expect Kakashi to reply. There were matters in which he probably could give good advice, but parenting most definitely wasn't among them.  
>"Any words from the other villages?", Kurenai said, after having endured Kakashi's silence for another half cup of tea.<br>"Hm?"  
>"You said you'd ask them for assistance?"<br>"Ah, right. Apparently the Mist believe that, since Madara is now confirmed dead, any genjutsu cast by him should have been canceled -"  
>"But we both know -"<br>Kakashi nodded.  
>"The other villages are going to send someone as soon as they have their results from Madara's autopsy."<br>"Right", that made sense, as the body was likely to hold some information on this matter.  
>"But that's not why you came, is it?", Kurenai watched Kakashi carefully.<br>"It's not like you to make social calls."  
>Kakashi shrugged. For a fleeting moment he seemed to consider removing his mask in favour of Kurenai's tea, but he had not yet reached up his hand when both he and Kurenai heard a noise next door and seconds later Shikamaru came in, carrying an audibly awake Nozomi in his arms.<br>"She woke up", he stated, as he handed the baby over to her mother.  
>"I can see that", Kurenai sighed, then asked Kakashi whether it was alright to leave him with Shikamaru for a moment.<p>

He sat down across from Kakashi, folded his arms in front of his chest and looked at him with an intensity that almost managed to make Kakashi feel uncomfortable.  
>"It's you", he whispered after a while, then squeezed his eyes shut, covering his face with his hands.<br>"What is?", Kakashi asked. He wasn't sure whether he should wait for Kurenai to come back, or if maybe his chance for an answer would have ceased by then, when Shikamaru uncovered his face again, with a determined crease between his brows reached for the sugar-bowl and motioned to Kakashi to hand him his, still untouched, cup of tea.

"Shikamaru?", apparently Kurenai had left Nozomi in her bedroom, as she returned to the kitchen on her own.  
>"What's with the sugar again?", she said pealing the bowl, which already had lost a good third of its contents to tea and table, from Shikamaru's fingers, then apologised to Kakashi.<br>"I suppose I'd better go", he got up and was already halfway by the door, when Shikamaru took hold of his arm.  
>"You have to stop him!", he pleaded.<br>"He's still intangible, but it won't take much more. He mustn't...", Shikamaru gasped. His fingers involuntarily tightened around Kakashi's arm.  
>"You need to-", he shook his head, brushed with his free hand over his eyes.<br>"...cross back..."

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Shannon Wright<br>_

_Hello there! As you might have noticed, I really can't keep it up with daily updates. Too many other projects that keep me busy. But I'll try to keep updates at least weekly._

_Btw. After correcting that little mistake the title also makes sense. I also noticed that - during the last chapters - Sakura's shoes switched from boots to sandals. I'm going to fix this now ^^_


	67. Help

**Help**

With a demotivated "clonk" the shuriken bounced off its target and fell to the ground. Tenten sighed. It was getting dark. Maybe it was time to leave the training ground, she thought, had already packed her things, when she heard someone nearing her.  
>She was a little surprised, when she recognised Neji. Every time they had met off duty, it had been on her initiative. Something must have happened, she concluded, but oddly enough Neji didn't seem to be in any hurry or immediate distress, though he didn't seem to be particularly at ease either. Still, he concealed it well and Tenten wouldn't have been able to tell, had she not known him through almost all of her life.<br>"What's wrong?", she asked as soon as he was within comfortable earshot.  
>"Nothing", he shrugged.<br>"Sure", Tenten raised one eyebrow. She knew better than to prod around though, and instead shrugged in turn when Neji asked her, if she wanted to continue her training.  
>"It's getting dark", she explained. "My aim's not really much use if I can't see."<br>"I'll be your eyes"  
>For a second Tenten had the impulse to tell him that she was perfectly fine with her own set of skills and not at all in need of any help, but she fought it back, instead nodded. She had thought about this possibility before – her problem had never been to take aim when she could not see her target, her problem was that if she could not see her target she simply did not know where it was. Yet, she had never dared to suggest any such thing to Neji.<br>She closed her own eyes as she felt him close behind her, felt the tip of his nose briefly brush against the back of her head, before he adjusted their distance to close-but-not-yet-touching.  
>An involuntary smile spread across her lips, as he described the exact position of her – their – target, whispering measures and angles into her ear.<p>

It didn't work perfectly, though they got better after some practice. By the time her weapons finally hit most targets Neji chose for her, and Tenten gave a sigh, exclaiming that it was enough training now, it was well in the evening. She waited, braced herself for the cold air that would reach her back once Neji stepped aside, but he remained where he was.  
>She wondered if he assumed that – as she had decided to call it a day – it was up to her, to be the one who would walk away first, but even if he did – by now she had passed that moment. Like in a conversation, when both remain silent for to long, neither will find it appropriate to be the next to speak. And then she felt him move, shift a little, and rest his head against her left shoulder.<br>Tenten froze. She counted the seconds during which nothing happened, then – carefully – slipped away from Neji and turned around, placing two firm hands on his shoulders.  
>"Now, you tell me again nothing is wrong."<br>Neji shook his head, pealed away from her grasp and started collecting her weapons.  
>Tenten watched him, tried to figure out what was going on. And then she remembered. Because he had told her – only it had been one year ago.<br>One year ago, when Hyuga Hiashi had finally succumbed to the long-term effects of his injuries, and had taken his conviction – that in this war it was impossible to lay the blame for the death of a member of the main house, of his own daughter, to the failure of a member of the branch family – with him to the grave.  
>"Have you talked to Kakashi-sama yet?", Tenten asked. She stored her weapons away.<br>"He won't be able to help", Neji explained – just as he had one year ago.  
>"You won't know that until you asked him."<br>"These are clan-intern affairs."  
>"Oh, come on. You're pretty much irreplaceable for him, right now. There's got be something he can do."<br>Neji shrugged, wanted to walk past Tenten, but she blocked his way.  
>"If you won't, I will talk to him."<br>"I told you, it wont -"  
>"We don't know that for sure, so would you please stop being so fucking fatalistic!"<br>She waited for him to brush her aside and just leave, but he didn't.  
>"Alright", he mumbled, shrugged, then lapsed back into solemn silence.<br>"Right", Tenten nodded, "where is he?"

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: ...come one, do I really need to tell you?<em>

_Hmm. If you ever wondered, why I kept all information regarding the war and its outcome rather vague - this was because I wanted to stay true to canon for as long as possible. Now, without the intention to spoil anything - I suppose I can finally claim the status of "somewhat AU" and stop trying to take in account any further developements in the Manga.  
>That said, I honestly don't know if nightvision is among the many features of the Byakugan. But for the sake of this little scene I'll simply pretend it is, and - if it is not - I'll ask you to do the same. <em>


	68. Genius Next Door

**Genius Next Door**

It was nothing but years of hard training, of living a life that forbade showing any emotion, that kept the hysteria out of Kurenai's voice, as she tried to calm her daughter, who was still too young to understand the concept of self-control. She cradled Nozomi, petted her head, in an attempted to make her stop crying, yet she could not tear her attention away from Shikamaru's unconscious form lying on the floor.  
>It had been some kind of fit, or seizure, had only lasted a few seconds – before neither Kurenai nor Kakashi had fully grasped what was going on, he hit the floor.<br>"We need to get him to the hospital!", Kurenai said, when at last Nozomi gave her a chance to be heard.  
>Kakashi shook his head. He had his hitai-ate pushed back to let his Sharingan observe what ever was happening to Shikamaru, as he placed the boy's body on the sofa.<br>"Just from moving him here", he said "his condition is getting worse."  
>He turned his head to look at Kurenai, gave her an optimistic smile.<br>"Don't worry. Pakkun is fast, the medics will be here any minute."  
>Kurenai nodded, bit her lip, then decided to bring Nozomi back to her crib before doing anything else. Having the place crawling with people probably wouldn't help in keeping her quiet, and having a wailing baby in the room probably wouldn't help anyone concentrate.<br>"What-", she began to speak, after returning, but couldn't bring herself to end the question.  
>"His body is shutting down", Kakashi answered evenly, maybe a little too carefree. He thought for a moment, tried to find the right words to explain. Instantly understanding something did not mean he could instantly describe it.<br>"In a way", he said "his own Chakra is killing him."  
>Kurenai swallowed, let her eyes wander from Kakashi to Shikamaru and back.<br>"And there's nothing you can do?", she said at last, her voice on the edge of revealing her emotions.  
>"You're honestly telling me, that you never thought to copy any medical jutsu?"<p>

Kakashi did not get a chance to answer. Before he had opened his mouth he was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Kurenai sighed, mumbled something about how this actually was really fast, and rushed to invite the awaited medics in.  
>There were no medics. Only Neji, who ignored Kurenai's surprise, pushed right past her, and into the living room.<br>"What are you -", Kurenai stared, too perplexed to close the door behind him, as Neji knelt down next to Shikamaru, his hands glowing light blue.  
>"I'm blocking his Chakra flow."<br>"But, if you do that-"  
>"If I don't, he has about two minutes left, if I do, he might hang on long enough for the medics to figure out a way to save him."<br>Kurenai turned to Kakashi who nodded.  
>Neji was halfway through, when Shikamaru suddenly opened his eyes, moved his lips silently. Neji ignored him, continued his work.<br>"Don't bother", he heard Kakashi say next to him.  
>Neji kept his attention on Shikamaru's tenketsu, while Kurenai made it quite clear how outrageous this statement was.<br>"Is what Shikamaru is saying", Kakashi explained, pointing at Shikamaru's lips, his Sharingan fixed on their movements.  
>"He says there is no chance for him to get better", Kakashi said.<br>"This jutsu is fool proof – as long as he's still alive."  
>"Nonsense", Kurenai interrupted "Every jutsu has it's weakness. He knows that better than anyone!"<br>"In combat, yes. Outside it's different."  
>Neji momentarily stopped.<br>"If I continue he wont be able to talk anymore", he stated, dividing his attention among Kurenai and Kakashi, while Shikamaru formed more soundless words.  
>"He says, he doesn't care. It wont help anyway", Kakashi continued to translate.<br>"He's sorry that he was such a bother to you", he told Kurenai "and to Ino. And tell Choji that it's good he came back. And -", there he abruptly stopped talking, watched in silence.

A commotion from the hallway announced that finally the medics had arrived. They hurried inside, and within seconds had ushered anyone without medical qualification out of the room.

They talked in that hectic whisper, which probably was part of their training. To let everyone around them know, that what ever they did was immensely important and difficult, and to further make them aware that there was no way they would understand any of what the medics were about to say.  
>Kurenai was the first to leave, obediently retreated to her bedroom. She was followed shortly by Pakkun and Tenten, who had arrived shortly after the medics and had brought Ino with her.<br>Neji took a moment to explain to one of the medics what he had done, and why he had done it, then followed as well.  
>Only Kakashi remained where he was, eye fixed on Shikamaru's lips, and would not move until one medic – with all due respect – began to shove him out of their way and out of the room.<p>

The girls – women had already settled on Kurenai's bed, when the door to the living room was shut behind Kakashi, while Neji stood near the window and stared right through the wall.  
>"Did he say anything else, Kakashi-sama?", he deactivated his Byakugan, because – if things were as he feared, and the medics were too late – he didn't want to witness their failure first hand. And he didn't want to be the one who would break those news to the others.<br>Kakashi shrugged.  
>"I'm sorry", he said, "I've got to go."<br>"You're not even going to wait, until we know if he'll make it", Kurenai observed, in a way that made it very clear that she had expected just that of him.  
>Kakashi hesitated for a second, then he opened the window to let himself and Pakkun outside. At the same moment, the bedroom door was pushed back, and Ino came in, her face white as chalk. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, gasping for air or trying to force words out of it. The second Kurenai had gotten up, she stumbled into the older woman's arms, remained there, still and silent and not one tear wanted to come, until she realised that Kurenai herself was crying.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Regina Spektor <em>

_..._

_I only just noticed, some half-sentences had managed to merge and go by unnoticed when I proof-read this.  
>I would like to avoid such things in the future. So, if any one of you, my trusty readers, would like to beta read the following chapters, please, please, please tell me! <em>

_I'd greatly appreciate it!  
><em>


	69. China Bird

**China Bird  
><strong>

Kakashi had not come far, when he noticed someone following him. He slowed down a little, eventually came to halt on one rooftop; Since his change of status he usually stuck to the village's streets – traveling by rooftop was generally frowned upon by the civilians, and he believed he should at least try to be an example for his fellow shinobi. This night, however, he couldn't bring himself to endure the crowd on his way home.  
>"You're fast", he commented, when Neji landed next to him, waited a few seconds for Neji to state his reason for following him, but Neji remained silent.<br>He remained silent for the entire way, while the bustling streets bellow them passed by as rivers of sound and light. They reached the Hokage's Residence, guards greeting respectfully, and – after considering the different options he had – Kakashi led them to his study, where he ordered his dogs to wait outside, while he and Neji discussed what ever it was that Neji wanted to discuss.  
>"Well then", Kakashi motioned his guest to take a seat.<br>"There's something you want to talk about, I suppose?"  
>Neji nodded briefly. He lowered his gaze.<br>"I know this a really bad time", he apologised.  
>"I guess it's pretty immanent, if you want to talk about it anyway.."<br>"If it wasn't for the given situation", Neji hesitated, obviously reluctant to finish this sentence.  
>"I wouldn't request your help at all, Kakashi-sama."<br>He kept his eyes fixed to his knees, his hands neatly folded.  
>Kakashi watched him closely. Although he respected and valued Neji, would maybe, maybe even go so far as to say, that he liked him; It annoyed him to no end, that he had such great difficulties reading the young Hyuga. Even more so, as Neji – on the other hand – seemed to have no problem at all, figuring out what went on behind Kakashi's mask.<p>

"You know", Neji eventually began to speak, "You know what my clan's tradition demand from a member of the branch-families, who fails his or her duty to protect the main-house?"  
>Suddenly Kakashi felt cold. No. He had felt cold since he had left Kurenai's apartment. Suddenly he felt much colder.<br>"I believe, I do", he heard himself say, his voice as even as ever.  
>"But...", he said "Hiashi-san relieved you from the blame for Hinata's death."<br>"Hiashi-sama has been dead long enough to have his decisions questioned."  
>Neji held his breath as he waited for Kakashi to say something. Eventually he got up, smoothed his apron down as he did so. He bowed, said his apologies for bothering Kakashi with his problems and wanted to leave, but Kakashi held him back.<br>"Neji-kun, I can't interfere with your clan's traditions – I'm sorry."  
>Neji bobbed his head in reply.<br>"However", Kakashi added, choosing his words carefully "if you were to decide not to – followyour clan's tradition, it wouldn't change your status as one of my most valued subordinates in any way. Of course", as he continued to speak Neji thought he could hear the tiniest hint of bitterness in Kakashi's voice, "I can't speak for the rest of the village.. But I can promise you my full support – and protection, if necessary."  
>"I am not-", Neji said after staring at his feet for a long while.<br>"I mean, I am prepared to do it. It is just -"  
>"You shouldn't be!", Kakashi cut him off, taking Neji by surprise with the harshness of his remark.<br>"I could order you to disobey you're clan, but as the result will be the same, I'd rather leave the decision to you", he concluded, willing his voice to return to its usual, calm tone. He let go of Neji's arm, stepped aside to allow him to use the door.  
>"Thank you, Kakashi-sama", Neji bowed as he was about to leave, then – for the first time this day – looked Kakashi in the eye. He hesitated, made a few steps through the hallway, then stopped.<br>"It wasn't your fault", he said without turning around, "Not even Tsunade-sama would have been able to save him."  
>And then he left.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Patti Smith.<br>(This is one of the most beautiful songs in the world. Unfortunately I can't find it anywhere, except for , where I can't listen to it on repeat)  
><em>

_Is it understandable what it is they are talking about? If it is not, I'm sure there will be a chance for Tenten to be a little less evasive about the subject._  
><em>(I had another question in mind that I wanted to ask you, but I forgot about it.)<em>

_Hm - it seems to be the rule that, whenever I whine about how I don't have the time to write, my productivity gets a sudden boost. Thus, in the hope that it'll continue to work:  
>I still don't have the time to update this story more than weekly. I have no idea where the last chapters came from!<em>


	70. Werewolf

_This update was delayed due to my efforts to finish my entry for the Fable Contest over at the lj KakaSaku-community in time._ _(I did)_

_Before this chapter begins, I would also like to reply to the anonymous commenter, called "give it up", who wrote:_

"You really need to end this rag you call a story. There's no substance, consistency, the grammar is well of and you should pick through each chapter until you can get the story to flow."

_I really appreciate your feedback. It's great to have people telling you they like your story, but I very much enjoy receving critique as well.  
>I am going to assume, that your comment was meant as constructive. If that goes against your intention - my apologies.<em>  
><em>First, I couldn't agree more with you. I should have ended this story long ago, as I had planned. Unfortunately, there are a lot of things that need to happen first, and those things take time, but I am unwilling to just abandone the whole thing.<em>  
><em>Second, I'd greatly appreciate it, if you had specified what you meant by substance and consistency. I openly admit that there are certain gaps in the narrative as well as continuety, as I write this story chapter by chapter, without anyone to beta-read it and point me towards possible mistakes.<br>I don't really know what you mean by substance, though. It would be a great help if you clarified this rather vague statement._  
><em>Third, I might have said it in one or two author's notes, but I'm going to say it again: English is not my first language, and I never claimed to be in perfect control of it. I do what I can, but as I am mostly self-taught, I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time.<em>  
><em>And last, you have a point there. I am very sorry, that I consider writing fanfiction as a mere freetime-activity, and I am not as thourough with it as other ff-authors, who probably take it a whole lot more serious than I do.<em>  
><em>Apart from all this, and assuming that you really read your way up to chapter 69 and not only skipped there to troll me, I greatly appreciate the fact that you stuck with this story for so long, despite all its flaws. :)<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Werewolf<strong>

It wasn't that Pakkun did not trust Kakashi – he did, without doubt – nor did he not believe him, when he told his ninken that there was no need for them to stick around while the moon was new. He did not enquire any further about Shikamaru's last words, because he knew his human well enough to know that he would not receive a proper explanation – not yet anyway, but he did not question them either. Because he had noticed the three weeks interval with which possessions occured himself, though – he had to admit – he had never given it much thought before.  
>It was for a different reason, that, while the rest of the pack welcomed their time off gratefully, he preferred to stay.<br>He watched Kakashi removedhis hitai-ate and mask, watched him vanish into his bathroom.  
>He sat patiently in front of the closed door and waited, ignored the scolding look he received, once Kakashi returned.<br>"You can go, too", Kakashi told him, but did not do anything to turn his suggestion into an order.  
>He sat down on the edge of his mattress, rested his arms on his knees and his head in his hands and closed his eyes.<br>"What was it that Neji wanted to talk about?", Pakkun casually asked.  
>Kakashi's eyes sprang open again, he slowly shook his head, then unfolded his arms and legs and crawled under the sheets.<br>Pakkun watched him curl up on himself, bury his nose deep in his pillow while his fingernails found their way to get stuck between his teeth.  
>"Alright", Pakkun grumbled "I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want."<br>The faintest movement; Pakkun hesitated, his round pug-eyes narrowed, jumped on the bed and gently dug his way under Kakashi's arm. He remained there, motionless, for some time. Only when he was absolutely sure that his presence wasn't quite as unwelcome as Kakashi had tried to make him believe, he lifted his head a little, let his nose brush against his human's face and, as he still did not perceive any sign of rejection, admitted himself to do, what was the most natural thing to do in means of comfort for him; That is, he started to lick Kakashi's chin.

For five uncommonly long seconds, Kakashi endured this gesture of kindness. Then he wrapped his hand around Pakkuns snout and pushed it away. He buried his face deeper in his pillow.  
>A hint of Sakura's scent was still left, somewhere. Smelling it, he realised a little confused, had an immensely calming effect. He wondered how this could be, how this worked, then cursed himself for having changed the sheets.<br>"If he hadn't seen me", he whispered, his voice muffled by the cushion "he wouldn't have known, that … he had fulfilled his purpose."  
>He heard Pakkun give a low growl, felt the dog's breath against his ear.<br>"You're such a reasonable person, most of the time", he said.  
>"Why not when it comes to blaming yourself?"<br>"Hn."  
>Kakashi turned to his side, propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Pakkun, who returned his gaze with a stern expression. He undid the dogs hitai-ate, undid his vest and ruffled his fur, where the fabric had flattened it. Within no time, the sternness disappeared from Pakkun's features. He dropped to his back, subjecting his chest and belly to Kakashi's fingers, when Kakashi suddenly stopped.<br>He sniffed.  
>"You use the same shampoo as Sakura?", he sounded mildly shocked as he said it.<br>"Don't tell me you only just noticed?", Pakkun raised his ears in surprise.  
>Kakashi shrugged, looked away.<br>"I – just – she smelled familiar -", he stammered, then let his head sink back to the mattress, next to Pakkuns. He placed his hand over the dog's snout – just in case he should get any wrong ideas – and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Cat Power<em>


	71. Something Fast

**Something Fast**

There were several reasons not to like funerals, and while one of them undeniably was a certain feeling of guilt, this was not the reason for Kakashi to flee from the ceremony as soon as he had fulfilled his duty of saying a few words in honor of the deceased shinobi. It wasn't for the looks he received from the few members of the Hyuga clan who had shown up, the way Kurenai glowered at him, or the sight of Ino and Choji clinging to each other, as if they were the only human beings left in the whole universe.  
>The thing was, attending funerals never upset him as much as it annoyed him. Even though he could very much relate to those mourning, he still couldn't help but loathe their tears. Because everybody knew that everyone would die – it was only a matter of time until you lost those you cared about, one way or the other. He couldn't understand how everyone seemed so very unwilling to simply accept this, why they would pretend that <em>their<em> loved ones were supposed to be miraculously excluded from this rule.  
>He passed the Memorial of the Great War, followed the small path leading to the new-old Memorial Stone. To be on his own. And to remind himself, that being surprised by one's friends eventual departure probably was the more healthy attitude towards life.<p>

He stopped a few meters away from his destination. Someone was already there, standing in front of the stone. She had already noticed him – he knew from the way her shoulders tensed.  
>She turned around to look at him with reddened eyes, the rest of her face hidden behind a mask, not unlike his own, immediately turned away again, back to the stone. Kakashi hesitated, waited whether she would walk away. She didn't, which meant he had to decide for himself if he wanted to join her or not.<br>More than hesitantly he stepped up next to Rin. He stuffed his hands deep into his pockets.  
>"Who?", she nodded towards his black funeral attire.<br>"Shikaku's boy … you didn't know him"  
>"Right", Rin stated dryly "everyone <em>I<em> knew has their name engraved here."  
>"Hn", Kakashi thought for a while.<br>"I'm still here...", he eventually said.  
>"Yeah", Rin didn't try to conceal the sarcasm in her voice.<br>She sat down on the stone step in front of the memorial and removed her mask to dab her face with her shirt's sleeve.  
>Again Kakashi considered to leave her alone, but then sat down next to her instead. He let his hand hover above her shoulder for a second, withdrew it again.<br>"I'm sorry", he said.  
>"It's alright", Rin shrugged.<br>"I'm mean... I've been gone for nineteen years. I should have expected you to move on. It's just...",  
>She pulled her mask back up "She's so young."<br>Kakashi opened his mouth to point out that Sakura was at least three years older than Rin, but realised that he had no idea how old Sakura was exactly.  
>"You know what's worst?", Rin asked after a while.<br>Kakashi shook his head.  
>"She's nice. I can't even hate her, because she's really...", she hugged her legs, placed her chin on her knees and closed her eyes.<br>"She left something for you", Kakashi remembered.  
>"Hm?"<br>"Some documents... I don't know. She said, you'd know what it is."  
>Rin nodded slowly. She already had a vague idea, but she wasn't entirely sure.<br>"If you want to -"  
>"Pakkun can bring them to me."<br>"But we don't know where you're hiding."  
>"...I asked him not to tell you", Rin admitted quietly.<br>"Ah", Kakashi frowned. He really had to do something about the dog's habit of teaming up with his girlfriends – past or present.  
>"If you need anything.."<br>"I'm fine."  
>She forced herself to smile, then leaned over to Kakashi and wrapped her arms around him.<br>"Thanks", she whispered.  
>"What for?"<br>"I don't know."  
>Her fingernails dug through the fabric of his shirt and into his shoulder, dragged over his skin as she let go of him.<br>"I'll see you", she said, placed the tiniest kiss on the visible bit of skin below his right eye, got up and left, leaving behind a slightly dazed and slightly confused Kakashi.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Sisters of Mercy.<em>

Thank you all so much for your kind words!  
>Also, in reply to Temeti's comment (because - I do suspect you're not the only one wondering about this):<p>

_I haven't forgotten about the Kakashi-Sakura-Kiba-Rin square-thing. Nor about other unresolved questions and lose ends (though I wouldn't know, if I had truely forgotten about them). There's just so much happening at once that I really have a hard time covering it all... (Which really is my own fault. Oh well, this wouldn't be half as much fun, if I didn't learn anything while writing it.)  
><em>


	72. Bride of the Rain Dogs

**Bride of the Rain Dogs**

Sakura hadn't exactly rejoiced when she had learned who was to escort her.  
>She understood that Shino's skills complimented hers nicely, and it wasn't that she had anything against him; when she and Kiba still had been an item Kiba would sometimes drag him along when they went out for drinks, and to Sakura's surprise these evenings never turned out as boring or weird as she had expected. But that was just it. She had never really noticed Shino until she had become Kiba's girlfriend. He had been a fellow shinobi before, but then turned into a sort of friend by relation. She had no idea how to confront him now.<br>She had been relieved when he didn't ask what had kept her so long as she arrived – way behind time – at their meeting point, and was more than grateful for his silence, as they started their journey towards the Country of Lightning, but the longer they kept rushing through the trees, he always a few paces ahead, the more it grew on her. Or maybe it was just her exhaustion that made her feel edgy, for Sakura soon had to admit that she wasn't as fully recovered as she had claimed to be.  
>Late that evening they stopped to rest. Shino checked out their surroundings – not that there was any immanent threat, but on couldn't be too careful – while Sakura set up their camp.<br>They ate part of their provision, still in silence and – as far as Sakura could tell through the shades he was wearing – avoiding any possible (or as it was, impossible) eye contact.  
>"Listen", she said when she had finished eating and was fed up enough by the consistency with which he blanked her to give voice to her annoyance.<br>"It's not my fault that your boyfriend broke up with me", she said.  
>Shino rose his brows high enough for them to become visible over the rim of his glasses.<br>"Is that so?", he replied "Because he seemed to have very legitimate reason to do so."  
>"No, he didn't", Sakura snapped back. She cursed herself for bringing up the subject. Of all the people she knew, Shino definitely was not the one she had planned to discuss her messed up relationship with.<br>"You mean to say, that you do not maintain an affair with Kakashi-sama?"  
>The question's bluntness took Sakura by surprise – as did the memories of her reason for being late this morning, that suddenly washed over her and coloured her cheeks a pink bright enough to rival with her hair.<br>"N-no", she stammered but realised that she couldn't – couldn't bring herself to lie.  
>"Not while I was with Kiba", she mumbled, hoping against hope that Shino might miss it.<p>

"But even then you felt attracted to him."  
>The way Shino said it it was more of an observation than a question.<br>Sakura narrowed her eyes.  
>"And how would you know that?", she spat.<br>How could he even think to act as if he knew her at all?  
>"It's obvious. You feel intrigued by him – why? Because you want to know what lies behind his enigmatic facade. You adore him, because he is presumably the most powerful shinobi in our village, you pine for his attention, because he doesn't give it away easily. It's the same reasons why every girl in our class – especially you – was smitten by Sasuke."<br>Sakura opened her mouth to say something in reply – she couldn't think of anything.  
>"Then why", she eventually managed, "Why would I fall in love with Kiba?"<br>"You didn't", Shino stated dryly.  
>"You never loved him. You enjoyed his affection and you felt sorry for him."<br>Their conversation came to an abrupt end here, when Sakura finally lost her temper and resolved to something that she hadn't done in a very long while in order to make her point.  
>With a thud her fist connected with Shino's chin and sent him flying a few meters before he crashed into the next tree.<p>

Reluctantly Sakura rose to her feet and walked over to where he had hit the ground. She picked up his shades on her way, then cowered down before him.  
>"You okay?", she asked, masking her anger with professional concern. True, she would have loved to continue her journey on her own – but there was no way she could deny that without Shino she lacked both, sensory skills and long distance attacks; And while in the Country of Fire and the allied Country of Lightning there was close to no risk of being attacked, passing through the smaller countries between the two great nations wouldn't be that easy.<br>Those who had suffered the most damage during the war waged by the Allied Shinobi Forces were those who were no part of the alliance. And even though the Alliance would try to help rebuilding the smaller countries, there just wasn't enough they could do. The feelings towards the five great nations varied from cold resentment to sheer hate.  
>"Yes, I'm fine."<br>Shino snatched his glasses from Sakura's fingers and put them back on, before she could get the tiniest glimpse of his eyes.  
>"Good", Sakura did her best to sound genuine. "I'm going to sleep now."<br>And with that she strode back to their camp, crawled into her sleeping bag and curled up into a ball.

"Don't cry!", she told herself, but her eyes were already filling with tears.  
>There was no truth in what Shino had said, Sakura assured herself. And even if some of his assumptions were right – which they weren't! – you couldn't explain something like love away with reason. You couldn't.<br>She wondered how much of what Shino had said to her that evening he had also told Kiba, wondered how Kiba could anything but hate her after hearing his best friend's words.  
>Maybe he was right to. Maybe she shouldn't care about it at all.<br>Because she was with Kakashi now, wasn't she? They hadn't really clarified the nature of their relationship before she had had to leave, but there wasn't much left to clarify, was there?  
>Sakura shook her head, tried to shake away the sinking feeling of uncertainty that suddenly took hold of her. She reminded herself of the way Kakashi's lips had felt against hers, of the look in his eye that had said so much more than his verbal confession.<br>It helped a little, and didn't help at all – for it brought back the image of Kiba's eyes, which had borne the same look of true and deep and unconditional love and devotion.

* * *

><p><em>Titel respectfully borrowed from: Tom Waits.<em>

_I swear, I had the idea for this chapter long before this/last weeks filler-episode! :D_


	73. And The Boys

**And the Boys**

They crashed at Tenten's place. Here were no parents, no family-members, no one but them and her downstairs neighbour, who'd make his presence known by occasionally banging against his ceiling.  
>She unlocked her door and let Ino and Choji in, searched her fridge for something to offer her guests, but couldn't find anything, while they waited for Kiba to join them.<br>Three of seven, she thought, and prayed that they wouldn't be diminished to six anytime soon. A rap at her door, and she teared her eyes away from Ino who all but vanished in Choji's massive arms – and yet Tenten wasn't entirely sure if she really was the one who was being comforted.

Kiba brought enough alcohol to get eleven young shinobi drunk (for absent friends), and after a while they started to get past their mutual mournful silence, whispered at first but eventually regained their voices.  
>They found a welcome distraction in the topic of Kiba's and Sakura's recent break-up (to which Kiba most willingly contributed) and soon a heated discussion arose regarding the likeliness of her truly having an affair with Kakashi. Tenten didn't pay them much attention. She did not feel the need to share any of her knowledge in this matter, nor was she very interested in the speculations the others had. Her attention was fixed to the door, to the hallway in front of her apartment and any sound coming from there that might announce another visitor.<br>No one came.

"Say, why isn't Neji here?"  
>It was past midnight when Ino asked this. She cowered down next to Tenten, leaving the boys to themselves and their drinks.<br>"I don't know", Tenten admitted. Her voice was thin and unsteady, and it wasn't solely the alcohol's fault. This was all wrong, Tenten thought when Ino handed her a napkin to dry her eyes. If anything, she was supposed to comfort Ino, not the other way around, and yet she was the one who was crying.

When Tenten awoke the next morning, it was with a headache that had her believe her skull was actually breaking apart, and very little recollection of the previous night.  
>Next to her, she noticed, lay Ino (though it was mostly her hair, which was visible), her legs partly entangled with that of Tenten.<br>Careful not to wake her Tenten climbed out of bed, took in her mostly undressed state, and looked around for the boys, but apparently they had been able to find their way home. She staggered to the bathroom and into the shower, let cold water pour over her and tried to clear her mind enough to string together so much as one single thought. It took her some time until she managed to do that, but when she did she let out a loud curse.  
>For a second all thought of a hangover was forgotten, as she wrapped herself in a towel and headed to her room, pulling fresh clothes from her wardrobe, went back to the bathroom and got dressed.<p>

She wrote a note for Ino, tore it apart, wrote a new one, trashed that as well and lastly settled with writing nothing but: "Sorry, had to leave", before she went out the door and over the rooftops.  
>(It was hard to decide whether the cold breath helped more than the fast movements made her feel sick.)<br>She landed back on the ground a few meters from the Hokage's residence, fought against the urge to actually be sick with all the willpower she currently had at hand (which seemed to be sufficient) and made her way past the gates and into the mansion itself.  
>Standing in front of Kakashi's study she hesitated. Not because she thought she'd get into trouble for being late, nor because she felt particularly uneasy about facing her colleagues in her current state (well, maybe she did, but she was professional enough to ignore it), but because she knew that she wouldn't be able to handle it, were it only Sai and Kakashi on the other side of the door.<br>She was still contemplating whether it would be easier to keep her dignity by simply running away, when the door was slid open from inside and she was greeted by Kakashi.  
>"We've been waiting for you", he told her. Tenten was sure that she could see his nose twitch beneath his mask, but other than that he kept a perfectly neutral expression.<br>"I'm sorry", she bowed (which made her feel slightly dizzy), and – holding her breath – followed him inside.

She hadn't noticed how tense she had been until she had entered the study and had set her eyes on the figure sitting next to Sai. It was Neji – she could tell, even though his face was hidden underneath the rim of the hood he was wearing. Tenten wondered what that was about, but before she had a chance to ask, Kakashi had resumed to tell them that Madara was only capable of possessing him during a full moon, which left them with one and a half week to figure out what countermeasures to take.  
>"He won't be easy to kill, though, as he doesn't have a physical form – unless he's taking possession of me", Kakashi added.<br>"It's hard to kill an idea."  
>"One question", Tenten interrupted.<br>"The time he possessed you by that cave – it wasn't a full moon."  
>"If the cave is a soft-spot, as he suggested himself", Neji answered in Kakashi's stead, "he may not need the moon to be full around there."<br>Tenten nodded her understanding, and Kakashi continued to explain what Shikamaru had told him.  
>According to him, the only way to kill Madara as to do so while he possessed Kakashi's body.<br>"In which case you'd be killed as well", Sai stated.  
>"Right. The alternative would be for me to try and cross back. But", Kakashi replied "doing so would enable him to take full possession of me easily. Provided that I am able to cross back without killing myself at all."<br>They all looked at each other in silence. Then Tenten voiced what everyone had been thinking.  
>"So, basically, the only way to stop him is to kill you?"<br>"Hmmm...", Kakashi nodded slowly, "Though I might have figured out a way around that."

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Angus &amp; Julia Stone.<em>

_Thoughts? Comments? Questions?  
>- Tell me! :)<br>_


	74. Older Chests

**Older Chests**

It was a nice little hiding spot that Rin had found. Far enough away from the village to keep clear of the patrols that scouted the woods, and yet close enough to be there in a half a day's journey.  
>After a few days of staying undetected she had even dared to built a little make-shift hut, to keep off the increasingly cool wind and occasional rain. Her back-pack held all the provision she needed for a weeks journey that might as well be spent out camping, and so far she had had no intention at all to return to the village ever again.<br>She didn't belong there anymore, she knew, and that it would only hurt her to be surrounded by an infinite number of reminders that time and life had continued without her.  
>She wouldn't have visited the memorial stone either, had Pakkun not tipped her off about the funeral, had he not urged her to talk with Kakashi.<p>

And maybe the dog had had a point. Talking with Kakashi had made her feel better, if only momentarily. It had been a small comfort compared to how lost she had felt upon reading the names engraved in stone, names she had known, she had gone to the Academy with, worked together with at some point or another. Some she had been unable to find there, some who might still be alive – but what did it matter? It wasn't like she could just walk up to them and ask how they'd been the past nineteen years.

The next day, she browsed through Sakura's and her notes – for they had stored the documents regarding chakra-assimilation in Rin's back-pack, and while part of her wanted nothing more than to rid this world of anything related to Sakura (down to every last cherry-tree), another part of her was still burning with curiosity and anticipation.

They might be on the right track to develop a technique for transplanting chakra!  
>And even if this did not really help with understanding what Madara was doing to Kakashi, it would be a break-through in medical ninjutsu nonetheless.<br>She was disturbed by a rustling noise outside. _This is odd_, she thought. She had set up traps all around her camp – not to hurt anyone who approached, but to alarm her. They were arranged in such a fine mesh, that it was close to impossible for any human to sneak past them.  
><em>Human<em>, she thought, and shook her head. She closed her eyes to check outside. She wasn't much of a sensor, but her guest was standing right in front of her hut, and she was familiar enough with his chakra-signature to recognise him at once.

"This is for you."  
>It was a small scroll that Pakkun dropped into Rin's lap. She gave him a quizzical look, but Pakkun just nodded encouragingly to open the message he had brought.<br>The scroll held a transportation seal, which – upon releasing – summoned a larger number of further, bigger scrolls (enough to make the small hut Rin and Pakkun were sitting in feel way too crowded).  
>Rin raised her eyebrows, she picked one at random,opened it very carefully – there was something eery about those scrolls – and gasped.<p>

"I thought", she whispered, "I thought he destroyed all his records when he left the village?"  
>Pakkun flapped his ears, he climbed on Rin's lap to see what she was seeing.<br>"Looks like he didn't", he then stated dryly.

He waited for Rin to put the scroll away – the illustrations made him feel uneasy. (And he was, by no means, of a particularly squeamish nature.)

"There's something else", he said, after he had concluded that her eyes would stay fixed to the report, unless he did something to distract her.

Rin looked up, looked a little impatient, though Pakkun wasn't sure whether this was because she eagerly wanted to know what he had to tell her, or because she couldn't wait to start digging into information she had never dared to think of getting her hands on.

Probably the former, he decided, and went on to tell her about their plan to face Madara.  
>"It would be good, if you're in this as well."<br>"Says who?"  
>Pakkun sighed, shook his head – humans …<br>"Kakashi would appreciate your help very much", he said, satisfied that he had managed to say the truth.  
>Kakashi would appreciate her help very much – once she had offered it.<br>He told her when to meet the others for a thorough briefing, then jumped off her legs.  
>He was stopped on his way outside, as Rin took hold of his tail. (There was a reason why – out of the two – he probably liked Sakura a tad better.)<p>

"Are you sure, it's okay for me to have these?", she pointed at the scrolls surrounding her.  
>Pakkun gave a short growl (sufficient to make her hand withdraw), then flapped his ears.<br>"If Sakura was able to get them, Kakashi must have approved of it", he replied shortly and left.

On his way back to the village, though, he wondered. Considering the content of the transportation-scroll, Kakashi had treated it surprisingly lightly.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Damien Rice<em>


	75. So Few Words

**So Few Words**

Since the first night of their journey they hadn't spoken a single word. Shino continued to ignore Sakura and Sakura, not knowing what else to do in response, did the same.  
>When they neared the border to the Land of Hot Water, they came to a brief halt to cast the transformation-jutsu that would disguise them. While ignoring each other had been easy before, when they had been able to keep a certain distance between them, it was harder now that they walked side by side on a country road, trying to pass by as ordinary peasants.<p>

That evening they set up their camp deep in the remains of a forest that once, before the war, probably had been as thick as it was ancient. Now, however, it took them some time to make out a spot concealed enough for them to rest. They set up traps around them – without exchanging anything but the most necessary words – and drew straws to determine who was to take the first watch.  
>"Are you sure you don't want to rest first?", Shino asked as he compared both their twigs with each other.<br>Sakura shook her head, annoyed that the strain their journey and the maintenance of her transformation put on her hadn't passed Shino unnoticed.  
>"I'm fine", she assured him, while she watched his fingers breaking his twig in two – tossing the longer end away, and leaving him with a stump shorter than that which Sakura held in her own hand.<br>She opened her mouth to protest, but couldn't think of any reason – except for her pride – not to simply accept Shino's offer. She was exhausted, and if she fell asleep during her watch, or worse would be overpowered by their hypothetical attackers before she had a chance to warn Shino, it wouldn't do either of them any good. Even with soldier-pills you could only keep going so far without putting your health at risk, and Sakura knew she was already pushing the limit.

Sakura had just fallen asleep, when she woke from something wet being dragged over her face. She opened her eyes, too sleepy to fend off what ever it was.  
>All she could make out were the vague outlines of a four-legged creature in front of her. She blinked, wanted to bring herself in a more defensive position, but the creature placed its paws on her shoulders. It wore a bandage on its front-legs, and now – with it leaning above her – Sakura could make out a forehead-protector dangling around its neck.<br>"Shiba?", she wanted to say – but was hushed by the dog.  
>"I've got a message for you", he whispered, stepped back from her shoulders and tilted his head, so she could remove the scroll that was fixed to his collar. His voice sounded off, Sakura noted, like it took him a great deal of work to keep a somewhat light tone to it.<br>She removed the scroll as well as the collar it was attached to (the past months had given her the chance to actually get to know Kakashi's ninken, and she had learned that Shiba, for one, did not appreciate wearing anything but his forehead-protector around his neck).  
>"Did something happen?", Sakura asked. She reached for her back-pack and, after a moment of fishing around, found her torch.<br>"Not yet", Shiba answered, and then, after a moment of consideration added, that at least he hoped so, but that he had to get back to Konoha – just in case. Sakura nodded, tugged his collar (which he didn't need anymore) into her back-pack; She would give it back to Kakashi once she'd returned. And then she was on her own again.

It was a plain scroll, the kind commonly used for simple letters, and a letter was what Sakura found when she opened it. She recognised Kakashi's handwriting, neat and clean and with edges a little too sharp (it had taken her ages to get those right), took in the words that told of a plan he (and the others) had come up with, and the risks that – even if it all seemed simple enough in theory – would come with it. He explained why they could not wait for her to return, why he wanted her to continue her way to Kumo, and told her not to worry too much (she could almost see his eye forming a crescent smile). After all, you didn't go through with a plan like this, if you weren't sure that it would work.  
>However, here Sakura had to pause reading to dab her eyes, if, against their calculations, anything should go wrong, he wanted her to know that –<br>Sakura didn't continue. If she did, she thought, it would be as if he had said good-bye to her and – against all rules of logic – this would make it so much more likely for something bad happen to him. Part of her was already blaming him for so much as writing this letter.

"Are you trying to signal our location to someone?", she was pulled from her thoughts.  
>She hadn't noticed that the flashlight was still in her hand, that it was still shining bright and clear.<br>Shino took it from her, wanted to switch it off, when his eyes set on the letter.  
>Maybe he had not intended to read it at first, simply had been unable to stop his eyes from processing the characters in front of him into words, words into sentences. But then he cowered down next to Sakura, who was still hugging her knees and unwilling or unable to take in anything that happened around her, and picked up the scroll.<br>At some point, while he was reading, Sakura realised what was going on. She turned to Shino, forced him to look at her instead of Kakashi's writing.  
>"You cannot tell anyone", she told him, and hoped that – despite the snot running from her nose and the shakiness of her voice – she somehow managed to convey a certain degree of authority.<br>"Naturally", Shino replied. Sakura wasn't sure if that meant he obliged to her request or merely that he understood the reasoning behind it.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Archive.<em>

_Updates are taking longer and longer.  
>There is a reason for this:<em> _The past few months I had been stuck in my original writing, but now I finally figured out how and where to continue and - I'm sorry - the original work is taking top-priority again.  
>However, I am determined to bring this story to an end, and I most defenitely will finish it! I just need a little more time.<br>I'm really sorry that the updating-pace is slowing down, now that the showdown is finally getting closer.  
><em>


	76. Something I Can Never Have

**Something I Can Never Have**

Had Sai learned, earlier in his life, to question authorities – he probably would have spoken up. He would have shared his doubt with Neji and Tenten, had their Hokage proven to be too eager to finally solve this problem to listen.  
>But as it was, he had assumed that Kakashi knew what he was doing. There was no way Kakashi would have proposed such a dangerous endeavour, if he wasn't entirely sure that it would work. Right?<p>

The plan was a simple one. They were to set up a sealing-circle around the cave which they would activate the second Kakashi had managed to trap Madara's conscience within a shadow-clone.  
>The seal then would prevent any further chakra-manipulation, thus make it impossible for the shadow-clone to dissolve.<br>"So, how will we know whether it's you or him?", Tenten had asked and Kakashi had shaken his head.

"You won't", he had said "That's why I'll deal with him on my on."  
>To this no one said anything. They just waited by the village's west-gate until Rin joined them and together they started their way towards the cave, Kakashi's ninken trailing behind them, where the sealing circle was already waiting.<p>

Sai, Rin, Neji and Tenten went up the trees, to the hiding-spots from where they would maintain the seal.

Even though Sai would never have admitted it, he was quite curious to see what Kakashi would fight like, if there were neither a team (except for his dogs) nor his Sharingan or any ninjutsu he could rely on.  
>But the leaves of the tree Sai was perched in grew so thick that he could hardly see anything.<p>

When ever he caught a glance of the two Kakashi's fighting below their feet, it struck him as terribly confusing – he had no idea how the ninken managed to tell those two apart. The only difference he could make out was the lack of killing intend in one of them. (This confused Sai at first, until he remember that naturally, Madara wouldn't want Kakashi to die.)

For the fragment of a second their seal faltered. Sai was already going through plan b in his head when he heard Neji's voice through his earpiece.  
>"We're still on it", he said. "They entered the cave. Tenten?"<br>"I'm fine", the girl whispered into her microphone.  
>"Sorry."<p>

They waited for some more time. Each minute made it harder to maintain the seal. Sai could feel beads of sweat collecting on his upper lip and his hands' growing wish to start trembling.

Kakashi really needs to get on with this, he thought to himself. It was easy to sense that he wasn't the only one having trouble maintaining his chakra-flow.

One moment before Sai brought himself to acknowledge that it would be him who would spoil their plan, he could feel the tension leave his body, as the elaborate net of chakra which connected the four of them broke down. Had it worked? Had Kakashi actually managed to defeat Madara?  
>Sai still pondered on how to adequately put this question, when Rin already asked it out loud.<p>

"Did he do it?", she enquired, her voice a tat too agitated for the transmission via radio.  
>"I'm not sure", Neji replied.<br>The leaped down from their trees into the clearing but did not dare to enter the cave.  
>They could hear that there was still a fight going on. Sai looked over at Neji, wanted confirmation that they should proceed with plan b, but found himself startled.<p>

To be a professional never meant that nothing would ever startle you in combat. It simply meant that you had learned the infinite number of things to expect during a fight. This, however, was something Sai hadn't expected. The swift descend, or the wind, had removed Neji's hood, the hood he had been wearing for the past week, and revealed what the young Hyuga had tried to conceal.

His hair had been cut of, his head shaved blank and bald, robbing him of the second most prominent

mark of his clan.

"We've got to do something!", Rin's voice cut through Sai's and Tenten's mutual bafflement.  
>She had landed the nearest to the cave's mouth, and beckoned the others to join her.<br>Inside, it was hard to see much, it was dark. Sai could make out a lot of blood, covering the floor and the walls. And somewhere in the middle of it, Kakashi, one Kakashi was kneeling, trembling violently as if fighting against his own movement.  
>Sai could hear Kakashi's voice (which no doubt, did not belong to him at that moment), cursing quietly as his body refused to move any further.<br>And then, just like that, he collapsed.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Nine Inch Nails <em>

_Finally! I can't tell you how much trouble I had writing this chapter. I'm still not happy with it, but after over a month of trying and trying again, I decided to just... leave it as it is._

_Regardless. If you're still with me here – please tell me what you think!  
><em>


	77. Both Sides Now

**Both Sides Now**

They had carried Kakashi outside and away from the main scene of his battle. According to Neji, Madara was gone, yet there was a moment of hesitation before they decided to let Rin look after Kakashi's wounds.

"Would it be inappropriate", Sai wondered, while he watched Rin cut through bloodstained cloth in search for any injuries, "to ask, where his other ninken have gone?"  
>He was met with unison silence, that wasn't broken until Tenten, in the most optimistic voice, stated that they probably just went back to where they had come from.<br>"You know summons. They never stick around when things get too sticky."  
>"Except for-"<br>But at this very moment Kakashi opened his eye.

"It didn't work", he said after one (slightly disorientated) look around.  
>"Did it?"<br>Rin shook her head. She resisted the urge to take his hand. Instead she tugged her own hair.  
>"But you stopped him. For now", she added with a smile.<br>Kakashi gave a faint nod and for a moment it seemed as if he would willingly comply to the suggestion to just go home now. But then he sniffed, once, twice, and before anyone could stop him, he was back on his feet and on his way inside the cave.

"Kakashi – don't!", Rin called after him, but it was too late. She exchanged anxious looks with the others. It probably wasn't the best idea to let Kakashi back to the cave on his own; then again, they all agreed that he deserved to see what had happened without someone watching over his shoulder.

"Shouldn't we-", Tenten began to speak, when some minutes had passed, but Rin shook her head.  
>"I mean, what if Madara comes back?"<br>"He won't", Kakashi replied. He looked at the others from the the mouth of the cave, his arms crossed, his face (or what would have been visible of it anyway), obscured by shadows.  
>"How do you know?", Neji replied, at the same time that Rin scrambled to her feet and – the question, if he was alright, burning on her lips – hurried over to Kakashi.<p>

"Because I'm crossing back", Kakashi answered matter-of-factly.  
>"But you said-"<br>"I don't care!"  
>It were not so much his words as it was his voice that made Rin stop cold.<br>"I kill him, or I'll die trying – either way, he won't have a host to return to", Kakashi returned to his usual calm tone.  
>He waited for the others to protest, but either they were too baffled or they actually understood.<p>

"Is there anything, we can do to help?", Neji finally asked.  
>Kakashi nodded, slowly.<br>"Secure me", he said and then, after a moment of thought, added:  
>"If you have the tiniest suspicion that Madara takes hold of me – kill me."<br>That said, they set to work. They tied Kakashi to a nearby tree (he wouldn't let them finish, until he was rendered completely unable to move), and then stood around him in a half circle.

"I'm supposed to say something deep and meaningful now, am I?", Kakashi broke the solemn silence.  
>"I think, melodramatic will do as well", Sai answered truthfully after he had given it some thought.<br>"Right", Kakashi smiled.  
>And then, without much of a warning, he opened his left eye – the Mangekyo Sharingan began to swirl, fast enough to make the pin-wheel shape blur – and the next moment he sank into the ropes that held him, unconscious.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title Respectfully borrowed from: Joni Mitchell.<em>

_I have a feeling this is all happening too fast, and too chaotic. But as this story will remain unbeta'ed until its finished, you'll just have to deal with it ;p_

_But please tell me if I'm moving too fast, or if I left out bits of information. (I do that on purpose, but only when I think it is possible to piece together what was left out. If you find there are pieces missing, don't hesitate to ask!)_

_~ Nero_


	78. No Time To Cry

**No Time To Cry**

For the rest of their journey Sakura had had to fight the urge to turn around, run back to Konoha and to Kakashi and stop him. He could have waited for her to return, she thought, but he didn't and in a way she felt betrayed because of that.  
>Of course, part of her knew that this way he was trying to protect her; to spare her the task of killing him – should it come to that. And though she knew she was supposed to feel grateful, part of her hated him for it.<p>

When they finally arrived at the camp set up by the Cloud, where the number of shinobi present suggested, that the other villages' medics had long since arrived, Sakura couldn't tell whether it was the persistent exhaustion she had ignored throughout their journey, or her fear for Kakashi, or the tension buzzing in the air that made her feel dizzy.

She only took in half of what the shinobi greeting them told her about the autopsy's progress, smiled and nodded her understanding, though, and patiently waited for him to show her where to get something to eat and then to the tent designated for her and her escort.  
>She knew that she should get down to examine Madara's body right away, but she couldn't. She forced herself to eat, then curled up in her bed and waited for sleep that wouldn't come. (Just as it hadn't the night before, ad the night before that.)<p>

The next day Sakura didn't feel any better, yet she patiently listened to the Sand's medic, Ryokan, telling her in a hushed voice the rumours about the Cloud having stripped Madara's body of any useful information before any of the others arrived.  
>"And, did they?", Sakura replied. She had no idea where she should get the energy from to worry about the possible conflict arising from these accusations as well.<br>"I don't know", Ryokan replied.  
>"The body bears little to no traces of Madara's abilities. However", he added after thinking about it for a little while "there's so much wrong with this corpse that I'm really not sure if the Cloud is to blame for it."<br>Sakura nodded and put on the white apron waiting for her. She tied her hair back and, taking a deep breath (it's always a good idea to take a deep breath, before confining yourself to the same room as a corpse), stepped inside the tent that held Madara's body.

Oddly enough, there was little to no smell at all. There was no rotten flesh or bare bones, but stretched skin over dry bones and empty eye-sockets staring at the tent's ceiling.  
>"How -", Sakura let out, but soon remembered Ryokan's words.<br>"You didn't even start to dissect him", she then said. She received an encouraging nod in reply, and after a moment of hesitation (was she really allowed to make the first cut? Shouldn't the other village's medics be here as well, when she did), Sakura's curiosity triumphed. Her mouth and nose covered with a mask (which painfully reminded her of Kakashi, although she knew that this notion was ridiculous), she carefully moulded some chakra at the tip of her fingers, made it grow thinner than a sheet of paper, with edges sharper than the sharpest kunai. Then, after receiving one more encouraging nod from Ryokan, she placed it just above the top of the mummified body's sternum, took another deep breath, and dragged it down, right through the bone and all the way down.  
>Sakura stared. She wondered if she should feel sick (which she didn't).<br>The inside of Madara's body was as dried up as its outside, all organs had shrunk and collapsed in them self. Somehow, Sakura suspected that even with a Byakugan it would be impossible to find the remaining, physical traces of what once were the deceased's chakra-gates.  
>Sakura was still standing and staring, when – so slowly that she hardly noticed it at first – the bits of cut-through skin and bone began to move, reached for their other halves and merged back together.<br>"What the -"  
>Ryokan shrugged. This had happened every time till now.<br>"It doesn't even seem to matter, if someone's still inside there. Yoruki-san, of the mist, had her hand trapped in there for hours, until we managed to free her.  
>"The body", he added as he saw the confusion visible on Sakura's face "had tried to annex her."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Sisters of Mercy.<em>

Not much to say about this one, except: Fictional science in Naruto seems a bit wonky to me as it is - it gets even worse when I try to adapt it.

_Also, I'd like to thank everyone who's still with me here! Especially those who still take the time to leave a review from now and then ;) _  
><em>I know I'm dragging it out, and ... ugh ... I'm close to just quitting the story here and now.<em>  
><em>You guys really help keeping this one alive, and help me with my determination to bring it all to a decent end. So, yeah ... thanks!<em>

_(I sometimes wish I wouldn't post each chapter before I continue to write, or I would have gone back to let some random Hyuga accompany Sakura and Shino. I guess it can't be helped now... from an experimental point of view, I really love that I cannot do things like that.)_


	79. Otherside

**Otherside**

The first thing Kakashi noticed, when he opened his eyes, was that looking through two eyes that willingly and naturally worked together as one needed much more getting used to, than it had in his memory; His vision blurred continually, as he tried to focus on his surroundings with both eyes at once and some seconds, or minutes, or hours (the concept of time seemed a little unstable here) Kakashi spent with nothing but getting used to just _seeing._  
>Once he was done with that he noted a strange feeling of déjà vu. He had been here before, but couldn't remember how or when. It wasn't important now, Kakashi reminded himself.<p>

He wanted to check the body he currently possessed for some, for any kind of weapon –

– he stopped dead, the second he looked down.  
>"Not what you expected – is it?", a voice said.<br>"How-", but Kakashi didn't speak any further. When you're in some other dimension, inside the enemies body, he decided, you really shouldn't trust any disembodied voice you happened to meet.  
>"Don't worry, we're not going to harm you", another voice said. There was a friendlier ring to it than there had been with the first voice.<br>Another one murmured something about stupid humans, and that Kakashi should never have come here in the first place.

"Don't blame him!", the second voice, replied.  
>"If he hadn't interrupted <em>his<em> jutsu, _he_ would have escaped already!"  
>"And what good does it, when he's going to escape now?", the first voice shot back.<br>"At least we managed to use the dog's way in to send Naruto back", a fifth voice threw in.  
>"And you think he'll be able to defeat him, without our help?"<p>

No matter how hard Kakashi tried – it was impossible to locate the voices' origin. He started to feel dizzy, although he couldn't tell whether this was the voices' fault. Finally his fingers caught hold of a kunai's handle – he brought it up to his chest (there was no other way to do this than quick and simple), but before it got even so far as to pierce his skin, something or someone, yanked the weapon out of his hand.

"That won't do", a sixth voice told him.  
>"If you kill him here", the second – friendlier – voice explained, "The only one who dies will be you, and he'll have your body all for himself."<p>

Kakahi still didn't think of the disembodied voices as too trustworthy, yet he couldn't help his blood running cold at the mere idea that, with his actions, he had done nothing but put everyone else in danger. Again.  
>"What am I supposed to do, then?", he finally asked. The words echoed strange and unfamiliar in his head. The world – or what ever it was that surrounded him – slowly began to spin.<br>"Go back!", the first voice ordered.  
>"If you stay here much longer, it'll kill you", the second voice explained. It seemed to draw closer towards him.<br>"You'll find a way to solve this problem. But you won't find it here", it said. Some of the other voices started to laugh, whispering and muttering that he (who ever the owner of the second voice was) had really become just as deluded as any human being.  
>The second voice ignored them.<p>

"You know how to get back to your body – do you?", it whispered in Kakashi's ear.  
>Kakashi thought for a moment, then realised that he didn't.<br>"Just relax", the voice said.  
>"Your mind doesn't want to stay here – it will know the way, if you just let it go."<p>

And Kakashi did.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: The Red Hot Chilli Peppers.<em>

__I've been kind of dreading this part of the story, but now that it's done, I'm happier with it than I would have expected...  
>What did you think?<br>__

_Also.. I just realised that that everything I wrote about Madara's body in the last chapter doesn't add up with what was said earlier about it not being in any condition for transport.  
>Oh well, I guess I'll have to find some explanation for that later... (Any suggestions? Suspicions? Speculations?)<br>_


	80. Don't Panic

**Don't Panic**

That night Sakura dreamt. Her dreams took her back to the war, back to shinobi, to soldiers literally torn apart, to the smell of death and the cries for help, to the bravest men and women crying like babies, while she tried all she could to piece them back together.  
>When she woke up, she could still hear the shouting, the screams and the noises of blades clashing, of jutsu being cast. Sakura rubbed her eyes. This couldn't be real, this had to be yet another dream. Sakura pinched her arm. She winced. Then she got up, slipped on her boots and peeked outside her tent.<p>

Sakura gasped.

The whole camp had transformed into a battlefield – but who the enemy was, she was unable to determine. It was all so chaotic.  
>"What's going on?", Shino not so much asked, but told her as he suddenly appeared next to her. (Sakura had to fight the urge to punch him.)<br>"Madara's body disappeared and now everyone is blaming everyone."  
>Even as he said so, a shinobi from the mist (who's name Sakura couldn't recall – maybe he had never told her), charged their way.<br>"This is insane", Sakura screamed as she and Shino dodged a water-pillar which rose between them. The next second, before they had the chance to make a decision, they were both engaged in battle.

The fighting lasted until the sun rose, when all fractions (or what was left of them) had retreated to some hiding spot, where they licked their wounds. Where once had been the camp, now nothing but rubble was left.  
>This, it occurred to Sakura, was the end of the alliance. Everything, the great war, Naruto's and Sasuke's sacrifice, had been in vain.<br>She wanted to cry, but no tears would come. Instead she took a long and good look at the abandoned battleground. From where she as hiding she could make out four bodies – but if they could still make use of her help she could not tell.  
>"What are you doing?", she heard Shinos voice behind her as she began to crawl outside.<br>"Cover me!", she told him. And then, as he did not seem to understand she explained:

"I took an oath – as a medic as well as a shinobi of the Five Allied Nations."  
>At least one of them, Sakura soon noted with relief, was still breathing. The same second a kunai flew her way. She dodged it, the blade hit what once had been a tent, sending splinters of wood and debris flying as the explosion tag activated. Sakura drew a weapon herself, ready to deflect anything that would come flying her way – but at that moment a black and buzzing wall grew around her, shielding her from any harm.<br>Sakura waited for further attacks, but nothing happened. Slowly Shino's insects retreated, leaving her out in the open.

Sakura could feel how they all looked at her, bored their eyes into her. She felt certain that there was more than one attack ready and prepared. She swallowed hard, she felt dizzy with adrenaline as she turned around. Her mouth was dry, and yet she suddenly heard herself speak:

"I don't care if someone stole Madara's body", she said to no one in particular "and I don't care what they plan to do with it. Maybe someone _was _plotting to use it against the Five Allied Nations. If he did, he has done a very good job so far and there's no one here, dead or a live, who didn't help him! And maybe you think that's good. Maybe you think all the things everyone of us lost during this last war, all the people who sacrificed their lives to bring peace to this world – maybe you think, maybe you think they deserve this.. Maybe you think their alliance should be ended here and now. But if you don't – I order every medic to see that _no one_dies here today. I order each of your teams to return home, and give word to your Kage. If we want to figure out what happened tonight, we'll have to work together", she took one more deep breath. Her knees trembled, and her words still echoed in her head – unfamiliar, but not in a particularly bad way.

Nothing happened.

"What are you waiting for?", Sakura called out, she could hear bits of the little girl she sometimes still was creeping back into her voice.  
>"If you think I'm right, get a move on – if you don't... if you disagree with me, then come on and kill me already!" <p>

* * *

><p><em>This chapter's title was respectfully borrowed from: Coldplay<em>

_What's that? An update?_  
><em>Yes... that's right. I may be slightly negligent about this story, but I haven't forgotten about it entirely!<em>

_Action-scenes and motivational speeches - not my most favourite things to write, but it was kind of interesting to give it a try._


	81. Extinguish Me

**Extinguish Me**

Kakashi woke to the familiar feeling of complete and utter exhaustion – and yet he felt oddly alive. He tried to remember what had happened before he blacked out: Something bad, he was sure, but the memories were far away and his thoughts moved very slowly.  
>He forced his right eye open, bracing himself, the first light was always painful – but who ever the nurse looking after him this time was, she knew. The curtains were drawn shut, the electric light turned off. Next to his bed Kakashi could make out the shape of a girl; Rin – Kakashi thought. He vaguely remembered that, yes, she had returned from the dead and, no, this wasn't his hallucination. Even though her smell had to be. (He shouldn't be able to smell anything at all right now.)<p>

"Hey", she said when she noticed that he was awake and looked at Kakashi with a sad smile.  
>She helped Kakashi to a sitting position and handed him something to drink.<br>"You did it, right?", she asked in a quiet voice.  
>"You defeated Madara?"<br>And then she waited. Patiently, as if she knew that it took time to recall everything that had happened. The cave, and – Pakkun …  
>Kakashi's fingers closed tighter around his glass. He had crossed back, to kill Madara there. But had he really? He could not tell. While all his memories of before slowly returned, those of the other dimension remained hidden.<br>"I... I think so", he stammered.  
>"Good", Rin replied. She took the glass from Kakashi. (This wasn't a hospital room, he noticed then. This was his old apartment.)<br>"What-", he thought for a moment, "-how is everyone?"  
>Rin shrugged, the shook her head – that sad smile still on her lips.<br>"They managed", she told him. Kakashi couldn't tell if it was a lie.  
>"Sai is posing as you", she paused, a crest between her eyebrows.<br>"So far no one noticed the difference..."  
>She didn't give Kakashi the time to ponder on that idea too long, though.<br>"How are you?", she asked him and in a voice that demanded an answer.  
>"I don't know..."<br>- he really didn't. He knew from experience that he should feel dead, or as close to dead as one can feel while being alive. He didn't. Physically he felt better then he ever had (as far as he could remember).  
>Because he had managed to free himself from Madara's possession, Kakashi tried to convince himself. But something told him that this wasn't it.<p>

"I'm sorry", Rin whispered. There were tears in her eyes. (Kakashi tried to remember when she had taken his hands into hers.)  
>"There was nothing I could have done", she explained.<br>"It just … burned out..."

The information sank in slowly, like snow soaking through your clothes. Kakashi tore his fingers from Rin's. He blinked – he should feel sad, he thought, but all he felt was kind of empty.  
>"Is Sakura back yet?", he heard himself ask, and didn't really know why.<br>"No", Rin's voice sounded chipped " Sai send word to her, to come back as soon as she can."  
>She hesitated.<br>"If there's anything I can-"  
>But Kakashi shook his head.<br>"I think I'd like to be alone now", he told her. He didn't dare to look up, until he heard the door shut behind her.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Soap&amp;Skin.<em>

_I'm sorry this takes so long, but concentrating on my original writing/RL leaves little room for fanfictions._

_But I'd like to thank everyone who's still following this! :)_


	82. I'm Gonna Be

**I'm Gonna Be**

When they left the camp-site behind, Sakura felt older.  
>She had felt "older" a number of times in her life, and each time it had felt final – like she had finally grown up.<br>After she had started to train under Tsunada-sama's guidance, when she had found her path (so to speak), she had thought: "This is it! Now I know who I am!"  
>After she and Chiyo-baa had defeated Sasori, she had thought the same (though it felt different this time).<br>After they had learned what Sasuke had become, when she resolved to kill him herself, she had believed there was nowhere to go beyond that.  
>But then the war came, and all the things that happened in its aftermath. She had felt like she was becoming someone else again. (Or not, she was still herself, Haruno Sakura, but different – if it wasn't for Orochimaru, and all the things he reminded her of, she might have said that she had been about to shed another skin.) But it wasn't until now, that the feeling of leaving something (her old self) behind, took full hold of her.<p>

Now she knew that she could talk sense into a hoard of worked-up shinobi. That she could get them

to do as she said, make them search for the lost body instead of blaming and killing each other, get them to report back to their Kages, so the Alliance's leaders would figure out what to do (maybe even, who to blame) together.

She also knew that she did not want to do anything like it again any time soon.

They had set up camp not long after crossing the Country of Fire's border. Sakura and Shino, along with Ryokan of the sand and his accompanier. It was her watch, when the message arrived. A small black-and-white bird that almost looked real in the nearing dawn's twilight.  
>It landed on Sakura's knee, looked up at her with ink-black eyes. Then it started to pick at her pouch and Sakura understood. She made sure that the others were still asleep, before she produced the blank scroll, opened it and watched the small black and white bird, with its ink-black eyes melt, watched it become signs, then words, then whole sentences.<p>

"Come back, asap!", it said, and: "Your needed."

Nothing more.  
>Sakura glared at the scroll.<br>"Come on!", she whispered at it.  
>"It's me! You can tell me more than that!", but nothing happened. The ink stayed dry on the parchment and Sakura cursed Sai and his caution.<p>

The shinobi of the sand seemed a little surprised, when Sakura told them that she and Shino had to hurry. They didn't ask any questions though, and Sakura was grateful for that.  
>They reached Konoha the following day, not taking the time to rest (at some point Sakura started to hear Rock Lee's voice in her ear, cheering – she wondered if she was losing her mind). She went straight for the Hokage's office.<p>

Sakura opened the door with the worst feeling, though she didn't realise how bad this feeling had been until it dissolved into thin air.  
>There he was, sitting behind his desk, a copy of Icha-Icha-Paradise in his hands.<p>

For a moment Sakura forgot where she was, or even that they weren't alone. She rushed towards Kakashi, wrapped her arms around him – she thought she could hear Tenten's voice, calling her name, calling her off, but she didn't care.

"You're okay!", she breathed, as she wrapped her arms around Kakashi, causing him to drop his book.  
>"I thought...", she shook her head, pressed her lips against his mask.<br>And then she realised that something was wrong. Kakashi seemed oddly unresponsive (even by his standards).

"Uhm...", he awkwardly freed himself from Sakura's embrace.  
>"Sakura-san... there's..", he scratched the back of his head, obviously looking for the best way to explain what was going on. He didn't have to.<br>"It's Sai", Tenten blurted out. At that exact same moment Sai, still disguised as Kakashi, took cover.  
>Sakura just stared.<br>"Is... is he...", she heard herself stammer.  
>"He has been better", Tenten replied. She took hold of Sakura's arm.<br>"I'll get you to him", she said.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectully borrowed from: The Proclaimers<em>

_More cliffhangers. I'm sorry. And I can already tell you that the next chapter won't focus on Sakura and Kakashi, so those two (or at least Kakashi) will be left hanging for some more time. On the other hand, with this chapter I finally got over a rough patch (you know, those periods when you write, and write and you know where you want to end up, but you really have no idea how to get there?) - now the story finally has arrived where I want it to be (at least for a while), and hopefully things will progress less ... slow from now on._

_Thank you all for staying with me (and this fic) for so long, I hope you still enjoy reading it, and please don't be shy to drop a line! It's much easier to write, when you know someone's still reading it ;)  
><em>


	83. Slide

**Slide**

On their way to Kakashi's old apartment Tenten explained to Sakura what had happened – or, at least some of it. That they had set out to defeat Madara once and for all, that – after Pakkun had died – Kakashi decided to cross back.

"He's still recovering", Tenten said – and that he probably wouldn't have survived it at all, if it hadn't been for Rin.  
>"Some kind of Chaktra-transplantation? I didn't know anything like this was even possible..."<p>

Sakura just nodded.

"Why his old apartment?", she asked eventually – she didn't want to hear any more about what had happened in her absence.  
>"We didn't know where else to put him, and seeing that Neji was staying there anyway..."<br>"What - why?"  
>"Long story", Tenten replied, keeping her eyes to the ground.<br>"He's staying with me now … you know, you'd think you _know_ someone, after years of fighting side by side. But you really don't, until you share your home with them."

"But he's okay – right?"  
>Tenten gave the question some thought.<p>

"He's dealing", she said at last "I mean – a few years ago... who knows, he might have gone all Sasuke-"  
>"I meant Kakashi"<br>"Right", there was a nervous smile on Tenten's lips. She didn't really know, she confessed, he wouldn't see anyone except for Rin, and Rin didn't tell them much.

"He's recovering", Tenten concluded.

On their way upstairs they bumped into Rin. From the way she greeted them Sakura couldn't get past the feeling that somehow Rin would have preferred her to stay away a little longer.  
>"You know", she told her "Kakashi wants to be alone, right now."<br>Sakura gave her best to smile politely and nod. _Rin is only fifteen_, she told herself, _fifteen and in love_, she told herself.

It took a little convincing, but in the end Rin handed the key she had for his place over to Sakura. The same second she dashed away, without so much as a good-bye.

Sakura went up alone. She didn't have to argue with Tenten about that.  
>In front of his apartment it was very quiet. Too quiet, maybe. Sakura knocked, hesitantly, then turned the key.<p>

Everything that happened then happened very quickly, too quickly for Sakura to remember it later. She saw him kneeling on the floor, his back turned towards her, but couldn't make sense of what he was doing there. She called his name – startled him, maybe, what would she have given to believe that that was all there was. A slide of hand. The clattering noise as a blade hit the ground (they sound different from other metal). It must have been a slide of hand, because Kakashi knows how to do these kind of things (to others). The blade hit the ground. It cut, it didn't pierce.

She tore at his flak-jacket (why would he be wearing that?), at his shirt. The blood dripped from his side to her knee, to the floor. His hand reached for hers as she started to gather healing chakra in her fingers.  
>"Please don't", he whispered. Pleaded. Over and over.<br>Sakura pushed his hand aside, pressed her palm against his wound. The blood pulsed against her skin.

It wasn't until she had cut him out of his blood-soaked clothes and placed him on his bed, wasn't until she was back on the floor, trying to clean up the blood there, that Sakura began to cry. She felt shaky, and sick, and all she wanted was to curl up next to Kakashi. She didn't. She continued scrubbing the floor, wondering if she'd ever be able to get it cleaned up.

"Sakura?", Kakashi's voice came from his bed. He had pushed himself up on his elbows.  
>"I'm sorry", he said.<br>"I'm-"

_You're an idiot!_, Sakura yelled in her head. Out loud she didn't.  
>"Don't be", she told him.<br>"Just don't do it again"

She hesitated to leave him alone when she changed her clothes for one of his shirts. She held her breath when she re-entered his room, let out a sigh of relieve when she saw him still lying in bed.

She sat down next to him.  
>"I guess we're even now", she whispered. The shadow of a smile showed on Kakashi's lips.<br>"I guess so..."  
>"Will you tell me why?"<br>Kakashi shook his head. Very slowly. He closed his eyes.  
>"I don't..", he mumbled "I didn't know what else to do."<br>"Well, yes – that's kind of obvious", Sakura couldn't stop herself from saying.  
>"I still don't."<br>She bit her tongue. She didn't understand. Madara was defeated. Tenten had told her so. Kakashi was free of his possession. Everything was going to be fine!  
>"I'm not", Kakashi replied very quietly. His lips as white as paper.<br>"Sure you are", Sakura forced herself to smile. With her fingers she brushed over his cheeks, pushed his hair out of his face  
>"Why wouldn't you?"<br>Kakashi didn't say anything. He just looked at her, looked at her for some time until she understood. She had never realised how perfectly well his own, natural eye-colour matched the dull grey of a burned out Sharingan.

* * *

><p><em>Title respectfully borrowed from: Dido (One of those songs I hadn't heard in ages)<em>

_Hah! I lied. The narritve stuck with Kakashi and Sakura.  
><em>


End file.
